Anorak

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Indian Summer

‘WHY is it getting hotter? Yesterday was the warmest October 27 on record. Perhaps it’s got something to do with global warming? Or perhaps immigrants are bringing the warmer weather … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Electoral Colleges

‘IF you don’t get a degree you won’t get a good job. So says the Government, whose mission it to make graduates of us all, regardless of academic ability or … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Harry’s Flame

‘THERE is a rumour gong about that Prince Harry has a tattoo on his backside. Looks nothing like her … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Street Fight

‘AFTER the National TV Awards must come the National TV Awards party. And the Sun was there to see what occurred when “fuming” Coronation Street stars trotted up to London’s … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Shop Of Horrors

‘WHAT do traffic wardens get for handing out lots of parking tickets? “A one-way trip to Hell?” For sure. “To be hated by the world at large?” Guaranteed. “A new … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Day Release

‘GIVEN the fact that criminals inhabit jails, being locked in your cell of a night is no bad thing. You wouldn’t want some burglar stealing your last roll of toilet … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fun & Games

‘SOMETIMES you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Arsenal’s gallic duo of Robert Pires and Thierry Henry will be all too familiar with that feeling after … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Back pages | Comment

All That Glitters

‘ITV’S 50th birthday bash, held at the Guildhall in London, is sure to go down as one of the Top 100 TV Anniversary Celebrations Ever. Her Majesty looks for Anthea … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Smoking Paper

‘HOW strange it is that a ban on smoking might actually improve not only the air we breath but our diets, too. Pickled egg flavour fags available now … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Hal’s About That

‘AH, ain’t it sweet. No, not little Henry Klum-Seal, but the bubbly mint crisp flavoured chocolate sweets Hello! has taped to the cover of this week’s missive from the world … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Pop Tart

‘PARIS Hilton’s video is memorable for one small thing: poor sound quality. ‘It’s raining men’ Thankfully, … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Charity Case

‘CHERIE Blair may be no superwoman, but she is, as the publicity material for her five-day speaking tour of Australia last February says, “the most powerful woman in Britain”. ‘Do … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

A Has Bin

‘THERE was a time when no TV awards bash was complete without Ulrika Jonsson. ‘What do you think of it so far?’ ‘Rubbish!’ … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Breast In Show

‘LAST night’s contest to see which telly actress could show the most leg in a leading role and the best supporting cleavage in soap attracts the attention of the Mirror’s … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Hammond House of Horror

‘YESTERDAY the papers introduced us to Brett Hammond. He was Mr Bird Flu. Hammond was the person we could all blame should an infected goldfinch kill us in our tens … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Oil Be Back

‘SINCE Saddam Hussein’s removal from office, George Galloway’s moustache has become the most recognisable strip of facial hair in politics. There’s George’s moustache in the Times, appearing alongside a story … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fly by Night

‘ONE way of stopping bird flu getting into the UK is to reopen the Sangatte refugee camp over in France and fill it with foreign birds. Not that this would … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Could Do Better

‘AT the risk of losing marks for repetition, we offer you “education, education, education”. That’s just about the most memorable thing Tony Blair has ever said, it being his clearest … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Chic By Jowl

‘HOW would you define Camilla, the former Mrs Parker Bowles? The soon-to-be published Anorak Dictionary of Celebrity (a working title) defines Camilla thus. “Camilla: the second horse in a polo … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Drive Them Out

‘VISITORS arriving in the Devon town of Torbay are greeted by the sign: “Welcome to Torbay – God’s own county. Twinned with the Crematorium.”That the area appeals to the elderly … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Helen’s Melons

‘WATCHING Channel 4’s Helen of Troy on Saturday night was like reliving the moment when the moderately good looking German exchange teacher arrives at school. ‘Henry VIII had … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2005 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Brum Stuff

‘SO rarely is Birmingham in the national news that you can easily forget the place exists. Not today though, as the Times leads with news of the riots in Britain’s … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Mr Wrong

‘ONCE upon a time Ulrika Jonsson could do it all. She could be a blonde on the weather bulletins. She could be a blonde footballer’s girlfriend. Lance and Ulrika … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Saving The Nation

‘LAST week the Sun brought us news of how Snow White’s seven dwarfs had fallen victim to the marauding “PC brigade” and become “gnomes”. It was Snow White and the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

One Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

‘AS if Mondays weren’t depressing enough, the papers added to the downbeat mood by screaming that lots of birds and lots of people were going to die from bird flu.“BIRD … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2005 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

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