Anorak

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The Fallen

‘THERE’S a big picture of a dead racehorse on the front of the Telegraph. It’s the “Tragedy of Best Mate.” Horses for courses … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Mr & Mrs

‘EVER since Brad Pitt met Angelina Jolie the papers have been full of rumour and speculation. ‘Got the rings?’ … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Club Foot

‘“IF your name’s not down your not coming in,” barks the charmless club bouncer. “And no Prada trainers.” Shoe! … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Best End

‘“THE BEST EVER,” says the Sun’s headline in deepest black ink. “5,000 FANS SEE LEGEND COLLAPSE.” ‘Dead? What d’yer mean dead?’ … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Kate Escape

‘“IS it illegal to possess crack cocaine?” asks the Government in its new Britishness test, as the Express reports. “True or false?” Kate and Pete in happier times … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Marry In Haste

‘“YOU could say that Jennifer Ellison and fiancé Tony Richardson have had a whirlwind romance,” OK! says. So we give it a try. Come on, join in: “Jennifer Aniston and … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Spy Dames

‘PETER Ustinov used to speak about the time he was approached to be a spy. He met the spymaster at a Tube station. The spook took one look at Ustinov … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Sharing Out Blame

‘WHAT can you do in two weeks? The Israelis famously took just six days to win a war, the same time it took God to create the world. Lady … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Not The Ticket

‘SUCH is the high price of a train ticket it’s a wonder any passengers have enough cash left over for a cup of water, let alone a crate of lager … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

A British Farce

‘LONG gone are the days when you could spot a Briton by his civilising manner, bowler hat and stiff upper lip. These days John Bull swears in public, wears a … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Dear Kate…

‘“DEAR Jordan…” And so begins the next page in the life of the pneumatic star. Who wants to join Jordan on the couch? … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Black Looks

‘WHEN she’s not flogging easy credit on TV, Kate Winslet is shrinking. The big star is, as the Mail says she is: “The incredible shrinking Kate.” ‘Is it ‘coz I … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

That’s Richie

‘IN keeping with the OK! launch in the States, the magazine has lined up an interview with American slimster Nicole Richie. ‘Looks like it’s me time again’ … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Gang Of Wanadooers

‘THIS week we welcome Wanadoo’s legion of readers and website enthusiasts to our think tank.Anorak is now at the forefront of the Wanadoo revolution.The wise heads at Wanadoo have decided … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Inns And Outs

‘LIKE a decent joke told too often, the papers flogged a dead parrot to death.On Monday, the Sun told us that the bird found dead in an Essex quarantine centre … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Head Of States

‘THERE was a time not too far back when Camilla Parker Bowles was the scariest thing out there. How we booed, hissed and spat whenever her name was mentioned. America … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Driven To Drink

‘LOOKING at the Government’s plan to ban drinking on public transport, we wonder what the driving force behind the initiative is? Perhaps it’s just a way of burying that messy … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Madam Hussein

‘YOU know how it is. The phone bill is full of calls made to premium rate numbers operated by “Aural Annie”. ‘And then I’s gonna spank yer ass’ … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Night Of The Living Dead

‘FORGET dressing up as a ghoul or a goblin this Halloween. Instead, put on a woolly V-neck sweater, some sensible golf trousers and a pair of driving gloves and take … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Secs Appeal

‘AH, the Christmas party. It’s that time of year when the girl in accounts gives the boss a rise, the photocopier gets the bum’s rush and everyone dances to Hi-Ho … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

He’s Having A Baby

‘THERE’S safety in numbers. Here are 18 things we learned last week…2 – Paula Dadswell waited two hours to have her sick baby seen at South Tyneside District Hospital while … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Narcotics Unanimous

‘HANDS up who’s taken drugs in the past year. So that’s Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, not David Cameron, and another one…two…three – 11 million of you. There won’t be … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Indian Summer

‘WHY is it getting hotter? Yesterday was the warmest October 27 on record. Perhaps it’s got something to do with global warming? Or perhaps immigrants are bringing the warmer weather … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Too Eager Beaver

‘IT sure is hot. It’s even hot enough for beavers. Look, there’s one in the Mail. He’s a fantastic swimmer, says the paper. He’s got razor-sharp front teeth. ‘Can … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

First Past The Post

‘DID you know that Tony Blair claimed £16,417 on expenses last year for accommodation? Davies – as he might appear on a stamp … (read more)

Posted: 28th, October 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

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