Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama’
Katie Price Kidnapped On Twitter And Peter Andre Does Stand Up
KATIE Price and Peter Andre Divorce – Katie Price kidnap terror, Peter Andre is a comedy genius, Jordan is dead and Katie beats Peter in Twitter poll…
Last night sentimental Peter Andre appeared on ITV2 in Peter Andre: Going It Alone and showed us that he is almost never alone. Peter spent most of the show touching his face, hugging anyone with reach, finding his niche in the Ikea bedding department and looking like an ambulatory bereavement card.
So alone is Pete that he spent only marginally more time on camera than his manager Claire Powell, who affected an air of a middle aged Claire Rayner, the media’s former favourite agony aunt, albeit less likeable, informed, interesting and charming.
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Posted: 18th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Obama Not Assassinated In Arizona With AR-15 Assault Rifle
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – Man with Ar15 assault weapon does not kill Obama at Arizona town hall meeting…
A reader writes from the US:
Holy hell, Paul, live on the CNN news now (but not on internet yet) filming live a man in Arizona standing at a town meeting with Obama there with an AR15 (assault weapon) slung over his shoulder. Other people are there also with guns. Law in AZ you can carry a weapon on you and they are invoking their rights. Secret Service more nervous than whores in Church!
We have the video:
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Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (27)
Barack Obama Will Be Assassinated In Secret
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – The Barack Obama Death Cult is on whisper mode following a missive from The Corner’s Kathryn Jan Lopez:
The death of Barack Obama will not be televised…
Spotter: The Awl
Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Not Killed By Armed Man In New Hampshire
THE Barack Obama Death Cult – Anorak’s look at the media’s obsession with Obama’s assassination – Gawker spots a man with a pistol strapped to his leg waiting for Barack Obama to arrive at a townhall meeting in New Hampshire.
The man is holding a sign that bears the legend: “It Is Time to Water the Tree of Liberty.”You know, the Jefferson quote on the French Revoltiosn – he was all for it.
John Cook confirms that it’s a reference to a Thomas Jefferson aphorism:
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” It was a favorite slogan of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, who was wearing a T-shirt when he was arrested with a picture of Lincoln on the front and a tree dripping with blood on the back.
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Posted: 11th, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
Over A Million Death Threats Made Against Barack Obama
THE Barack Obama Death Cult issues 30 death threats a day. Hoodies are selling well. Anorak has documented the Death Cult threats in the media, and they can be read here.
The mainstream media loves the Barack Obama Death Cult. And now Ronald Kessler says in his book In the President’s Secret Service that since Obama became president threats against the office have increased by 400 per cent.
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Posted: 4th, August 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (7)
Barack Obama’s Birthday Cake, Pictures
HAVING mused on Barack Obama’s beer glasses – and his oh-so sensitive choice of Guinness for the officer and beer blanc for the professor – we turn to Obama’s 48th brithday cake.
Should a white woman pop from the cake, or a black woman. Or what about a white woman dusted in cocoa powder and a black woman encased in white icing, one wearing the hijab, the other a wimple?
Being Barack Obama in post-racial America is hard. The people need so much controlling.
Pictures of the big white chocolate cake cake, with candles fashioned into a Menora hereunder:
Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
How Barack Obama Became Tony Blair
ANORAK readers may have noticed that Barack Obama – the most over-promoted man since Prince Edward became Seconder of the First Windsor Cubs – is mutating into Tony Blair.
The big news in the US is not the recession or the wars but Obama, who reacts to it all by allowing the media to set his agenda, sitting down with police Sgt Crowley (white) whose wrongful arrest of Professor Henry Gates (black) triggered a media shit storm and caused Obama to call the police “stoopid” (Biden: white).
And so the nodding heads begin the big debate: peanuts or pistachios: pork rinds or pretzels; half pints or full pints; larger or beer; Big Ears or Noddy; Toby Jug or Steiner…
In the mess rooms, police officers wonder why Crowley was so restrained and didn’t shoot Gates in the face; black groups also wonder why Gates was not shot in the face. What’s so special about him? There is much debate.
And all the while Obama is in the centre, the kernel-in-chief, the celebrity leader being all things to all mankind and knowing that right is on his side. Like Tony:
• Tony popped out for a photo opportunity with a mug of tea in his had; Obama sips a bear
• Tony showed off his love for his wife – going as far as impregnating Cherie in office; Obama has dirty weekends away in New York and garden strolls
• Tony wears his God on his sleave; at the annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, Obama lavished praise on Blair, who was the principal speaker
• Tony Blair’s second in command was dumbling bolt John Prescott; the US is but a heartbeat away from hailing President Biden
• Tony said “Things Can Only Get Better”; Obama pushed through a gigantic stimulus package because things can only get better
• Tony wants to be celebrity and ruled Britannia PLC; Obama woos celebs and looks to play himself in the film of the man
• Tony Blair was the open-necked embodiment of the new century; During the past few months, I’ve seen a lot of celebrities wearing suits and dress shirts minus neckties, including the president. The Italianate term for this style is crapioso…
• Both men converted to more popular relgions
During his tenure, Blair the peacenik waged five wars.
Over to you, Obama…
Posted: 31st, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Katherine Jackson Is Octogenarian Mom, Eva Mendes’ Beauty Therapy And Obama Kills Israel
ANORAK Spots: Eva Mendes is too sexy for her clothes, Obama marks Tish B’Av, Katherine Jackson wins custody of the Jackson three and becomes Octogenarian Mom…
* EVA Mendes is so good looking that… “Stunning Eva Mendes needed therapy to appreciate her beauty.” The charming headline from the woman who gave us:
* Cucumber truck hits buffalo near jumping crocs – One of the more unusual headline
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Barack Obama Launches White House Virtual Reality Video Game
PRESIDENT Barack Obama gives a sermon to commemorate the 100th anniversay of the NAACP and the New York Times hears him tell black folks to put the computer games away and search for the Obama inside your home:
President Obama delivered a fiery sermon to black America on Thursday night, warning black parents that they must accept their own responsibilities by “putting away the Xbox and putting our kids to bed at a reasonable hour,” and telling black children that growing up poor is no reason to get bad grades.
“No one has written your destiny for you,” he said, directing his remarks to “all the other Barack Obamas out there” who might one day grow up to be president. “Your destiny is in your hands, and don’t you forget that. That’s what we have to teach all of our children! No excuses! No excuses!”
Put that video game down! And that joint. And the cocaine. And the cigarettes. And the booze. Jeez!
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Posted: 17th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Did Sarah Palin Kill Obama’s Teleprompter?
BARACK Obama’s Telprompter, Jiminy Widget, the Manchurian who some say wields too much power, is dead. And Sarah Plain is missing.
The CIA says it was suicide.
But Anorak thinks it was murder! Was the teleprompter – the reason why Obama won the presidency – Sarah Palin’s kill of the day?
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Shannyn Moore
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Rudolph The Night Vision Prey
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Palin Takes Down Liberty
How Hunting Sarah Palin Marks The End Of The US Empire
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Sarah Palin Death Cult
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Gawker Nick Denton
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day And Adult Fun Toy
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Meg Ryan
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Madonna
Posted: 15th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Dresden Zoo Welcomes Obama The Monkey
COME see little hairy Barack Obama walk on his hind legs just like a human being in Dresden Zoo.
Obama the newborn mandrill will instruct schoolchildren and some less wordly adults just what an Obama looks like, and give hints as to what can be expected from the new US President (clue: much scratching and staring at the baboons.)
But what’s this. The director of the Initiative for Black Germans says:
“It’s a catastrophe. Black people continue to be confronted by associations with the animal kingdom and primitivity.”
As do whites. Right George Bush – here, here, here, here, here and here.
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Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
Starry-Eyed Levi Johnston On Sarah Palin’s Dash for Cash
ANORAK’S Man in the Hollywood Hills looks at Bristol Palin’s baby dady Levi Johnston and hears him say that his not-to-be mummy-in-law dearest Sarah Palin was looking to cash in on her fame:
Bristol Palin’s baby daddy is piping up about his former-future-mother-in-law’s latest career move… or should we say non career move.
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Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)
A Close Study Of Obama Peek At Mayara Tavares’ Ass
AND so it goes. Barack Obama looks at a teenage Mayara Tavares’ backside and the media goes into overdrive. The Obama Asscapades are upon us:
Gawker: “A Frame-by-Frame Analysis of Obama’s Alleged Ass-Peek”
At 0.8 seconds into the maneuver (the timestamps here are from ABC News video that was played in slow-motion, and don’t reflect that actual amount of time elapsed), a woman with an attreactive rear end (Woman B) begins to execute her own maneuver: She will step up to the level Obama and Woman A are stepping down from, in the process rotating her body in such a way that exposes her ass to Obama’s field of vision. In this frame, Obama has completed his step down, but his back is to Woman A. So he begins the process of rotating his body toward her so as to offer her his hand. But–and this is crucial–he begins that rotation with his head. Here, he has begun swiveling it to the right. Also crucial: Woman B was not in Obama’s field of vision prior to the initiation of his head-turn–in other words, he could not have begun turning his head to get a better look.
Kos: Obama looks
If you happen to go to the drudge report, you will see that photo of President Obama looking at that girl’s ass. Those responsible for drudge even researched and found out the girl he was apparently looking at was 16 years old.
Mofo Politics: “Obama stares at 16-year-old Mayara Tavares’ butt”
Mayara Tavares is 16 and lives in the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. She inherited from her grandmother and father a passion to take part in community action and social movements and has been an activist in her community fighting for children and adolescent rights. She has recently acted as a community researcher interviewing other adolescents in the community about their lives and how it feels for them to be growing up in the shantytowns of Rio de Janeiro. Through this work she became part of a National Platform for the improvement of poor communities situated in large urban centers, an initiative carried out by UNICEF in Brazil. She also became a member of the Youth Forum in her municipality and hopes that she can continue to engage her peers in this work.
The First Lady isn’t going to take this sitting down, and Matt Drudge can shred his invite to the next White House correspondent’s dinner!
For general discussion and debate. Possible talking point: Did Obama get caught ogling a sixteen-year-old…or not? You decide.
Animal agrees. He disagrees. He loves Obama for it – “that’s how real Obama is”. Techbanyan sees an “ogle” and a”leer”.
The response of some on the right is an ejaculatory spray of spooge as if Matt Drudge just got a picture of Barack Obama getting a blumpkin from a tranny whore in the men’s room of the Buenos Aires airport (or, for Drudge, “Tuesdays”). Over at Ann Althouse’s joint, there’s a post that’s gotta be a parody, for if it is not, then an “Althouse” must be “a place where people never get laid,” for she details a comparison of the body language of Obama and Sarkozy that says, “The foot closest to the woman, like Sarkozy’s, is planted and aimed forward, but the other steps off in the direction of the woman, bending the knee upward into a bit of a crotch-squeeze and forming the base of a dramatic tilt of the entire body into a flexible S-shape that leans toward the woman.”
Yes, I have seen the video, and I stand by my analysis of the still photograph.
GMA analyzed the tape as if it were a Zapruder film of bootyliciousness and concluded that the video clearly shows Obama wasn’t checking out the girl’s butt (they also don’t think he’s a socialist, so take that for what it’s worth) — however, the experienced male glancer will tell you that you always have a “plan B” in case you’re caught looking and need to make it like you were focusing on something else, so who knows.
Those Gawker images:
Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (5)
Barack Obama ‘Cheats’ On Michelle
HERE’S Barack Obama taking in the Italian sites, mentally cheating on Michelle Obama as he considers his second stimulus package…
Expect lots of chatter now on whether Obama was looking at her dress, if mental cheating is still cheating and why he enver looks at Hilary Clinton like that…
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Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)
President Barack Obama And Russia Dmitry Medvedev Talk Size
PRESIDENT Barack Obama tours the Kremlin, accompanied by President of Russia Dmitry Medvedev in Moscow and the conversation has an adolescent undercurrent…
When super powers compare
Michael Jackson Bought Drugs As Jack London, Omar Arnold, Barack Obama And Pete Doherty
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: TMZ reports that Michael Jackson “frequently used the names Omar Arnold and Jack London to get powerful drugs, including Demerol”.
Anorak hears rumours that Jackson also used the names Neda Soltan, Neda Soltani, Madeleine McCann, Manchester United, Cristiano Ronaldo (that enough?), Secret Sex Video, Angelina Jolie Naked (the SEO says keep going), Brad Pitt, Barack Obama and Prince Harry Windsor. (Enough, this isn’t the Liverpool Post, The Guardian or Habitat.)
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Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Barack Obama Becomes Adolf Hitler
AS Anorak predicted, you know you’re the President of the United States when you’re compared to Adolf Hitler. It’s a right of office.
A US President needs two things: a death cult and a fan to mock him up as Adolf Hitler.
Paint on a moustache as Obama turns into Hitler:
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Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Barack Obama Fundraiser Holds Up Petrol Station With A Potato
Barack Obama Fundraiser Holds Up Petrol Station With A Potato.
IN Jersey City, a man has held up a petrol station armed with a potato. A raw potato? Or a potato of a sort seen a a frundraising so for Barack Obama?
Stan Eason, a spokesman for the Jersey City Police Department, explains:
“In movies I’ve seen where they’ve used a potato on the end of a gun as a silencer.”
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Posted: 1st, July 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Barack Obama Gives Arsenal Football Team Talk
OBAMA Balls: In today’s instalment of Anorak’s occasional look at Barack Obama in the news, we cock an ear to the Arsenal Football Club’s changing rooms and hear the US President giving a team talk:
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Boris Johnson, Sarah Palin And Barack Obama Star In Pro-Cannabis Campaign
BORIS Johnson, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, George Bush, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, David Cameron and Hazel ‘It had no effect on me” Blears star in drugs campaign.
TO prove that taking illegal drugs need be no barrier to a successful carrer in politics, charity Release has launched a deck of playing cards to illustrate it Nice People Take Drugs campaign.
The campaign features such exhibits as Boris Johnson, Sarah Palin, George Bush, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, David Cameron and Hazel Blears.
Says Sebastian Saville, chief executive of Release:
“We developed the deck of cards specifically to show the hypocrisy of politicians who talk about their sterling efforts in the fight against drugs when so many of them have taken drugs themselves,” Saville said. “The UK public are now well aware that politicians appear to live by their own special rules in many areas – we felt it was time to add drug use to the list.
“Many people, including these politicians, have used drugs and have come to no harm but this is mainly because they were not caught doing it…”
“Their careers did not suffer, yet they continue to support a regime that results in thousands of often less privileged people being condemned to marginalisation, incarceration and permanent disadvantage due to personal drug use.”
Had any of these people been arrested for possession of illegal drugs would they have risen to the top?
How To Be A Gangster, By Jacqui Smith And New Labour
Enjoy the gallery:
Posted: 27th, June 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)
Scientists Create Low Emissions Cows
COWS are attacking us. Farting, murderous Cows want to kill us all. Can science tame them and reduce their emissions?
Spate Of Cows Attacks Threatens Countryside
If they can’t rule the world, they will kill everything on it:
A prototype cow which burps less is being bred in a breakthrough that could reduce a big source of the greenhouse gases responsible for global warming.
The farm animals are responsible for nearly three-quarters of total methane emissions.
Most of the gas comes from bovine burps, which are 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide as a greenhouse gas.
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Barack Obama’s Secret Picture Gallery 2
AFTER the Barack Obama’s Secret Picture Gallery we bring you the second album. These are pictures from Obama’s White House Flikr stream.
Barack Obama is transparent. He is almost see through. If you hold him up to the light you just see more light.
Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (4)
Barack Obama Introduces The Lamborghini Challenge
THE Barack Obama Government is set to introduce a new test to see if you are overweight and a fit and proper person to run a nationalised Wall Street institution: The Laborghini Challenge. In this video, a man applies to be the new US director of RBS:
Westboro Baptist Church Was Founded By Jews
NEWS now on Fred Phelps, leading red hot poker of the Westboro Baptist Church who brings the message that not only does “GOD HATE FAGS” (Well, bush’s don’t burn themselves) but he hates Jews.
And..?
Hey, everybody hates the Jews. Even the Jews hate the Jews. Hating is all about finding a minority group, the Other, and blaming them for everything. (Old Mr Anorak used to hate joggers, but in the late 1980s they became the majority and he realised he was shafted. He advises that we to stick to hating the French, unless you are in France in which case the tip is to hate the Albanians. You see, it’s complicated. Stick to hating the Jews. It’s common ground.)
So the WBC says “God Hates Jewzzzzzzzzzzz.”
The Topeka, Kan., based church began picketing Jewish religious and cultural institutions in April of this year when they issued a press release that read, “Yes, the Jews killed the Lord Jesus…Now they’re carrying water for the fags; that’s what they do best: sin in God’s face every day, with unprecedented and disproportionate amounts of sodomy, fornication, adultery, abortion and idolatry!”
That’s Friday night dinner in any Jewish household in a sentence. Chuck in a row, a little kosher wine and a huge plate of nosh and the WBC could be writing a How To Jew guide.
According to the group’s picket schedule, the WBC plans to protest Chicago and New York Jewish institutions this weekend. To one synagogue in Chicago’s Hyde Park neighborhood WBC warns, “Men, take the covering off your heads. While you are doing that, you need to repent of the FACT that you Killed Christ!”
Well, he had to side to rise again? And although the Romans killed Jews, the Jews can be blamed because the Jews are everywhere and seek to assimilate. Pontius Pilate had a Jewish therapist. Fact. Mr Phelps, one of your close allies is a closet Jew. (Call me, I have information.)
This coming Sunday, in New York City’s Central Park, the Phelps clan plans to visit an Israeli tourism event, with a calendar entry that reads, “All the remainder can sit and stew in your own filth, remain filthy until the day God spews you out of the land and punishes you for never repenting from having killed Jesus. You will be destroyed at the hand of Antichrist Obama, and you will eat your little cute, chubby, Kosher babies.”
Why would the Antichrist kill the Christ killers? It’s all very confusing. And as for chubby Jewish kids – hey, it’s glandular and he’s got a yeast allergy…
Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Heath Ledger’s Funeral
The UK’s Least Wanted: List Of The Banned
Westboro Baptist Church Curses Natasha Richardson
More Westboro Baptist Church Humour
Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (6)
Widow Of Barack Obama’s Murder Victim Sues President
IOWAHAWKS look at the fallout to the President’s murdering of one of God’s creatures – Mr. T-Bone Fly – on the telly.
WASHINGTON — The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama during a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning that she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief — citing pain, suffering and loss of income — seeks a formal apology and compensatory damages, including an unspecified quantity of shit.
“Bob was a wonderful husband and provider,” said the widow, Mrs. Vivian Vvzzvzwwzzz, wiping tears from her compound eyes. “Even though he was always busy at the Rose Garden turd pile, he always flew home in time to tuck in our maggots”…
Breaking down, an emotionally distraught Vvzzvzwwzzz was comforted by PETA President Ingrid Newkirk and ACLU President Nadine Strossen. The two groups announced they will file an amicus brief in the case and file a separate class action suit against the insecticide, flyswatter and pest strip industries, seeking over 1 million metric tons of compensatory shit on behalf of 200 billion Fly-Americans.
“The President’s treatment of the Fly community has been extremely disappointing,” said Newkirk. “He almost seemed to relish his bloodthirsty attack on Mr. Vvzzvzwwzzz. It’s obvious he’s in the pocket of Big Manure.”
The Barack Obama Statue Tour Photos
Barack Obama Is Peta’s Dumb Animal Of The Month
Posted: 20th, June 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)
