IN Paris, the city is so secure in its sexuality, even the rainbows are straight:
Why is this horizon so colorful? Because, opposite the Sun, it is raining. What is pictured above is actually just a common rainbow. It’s uncommon appearance is caused by the Sun being unusually high in the sky during the rainbow’s creation. Since every rainbow’s center must be exactly opposite the Sun, a high Sun reflecting off of a distant rain will produce a low rainbow where only the very top is visible — because the rest of the rainbow is below the horizon.
TO China (where else?) , where an eight-inch live bomb has been found inside a three feet-long squid.
Fishmonger Mr Huang tells the Guangzhou Daily newspaper:
“This sort of squid lives close to the shore and normally makes a meal of small fish and prawns. Perhaps he thought the bomb was his favourite food and gulped it down. He certainly had a big belly when he was caught.”
WE at Anorak love pin-ups. We are, however, less certain of cats. Can pin-ups save the feline terrors?
ONCE upon a time, mankind was feared by all of the animal kingdom because we were very, very good at killing all beasts for food, clothing and sport. However, we’ve become bloated and anaemic and spend our time tittering at creatures when they get above their station.
When we’re not slaves to cats or dressing dogs up in Juicy couture tracksuits, they’re wandering around our habitat with the kind of swagger not seen since Rick James was alive.
FOURTEEN bales of hay and carrots have gone missing in Penryn. Cornwall.
A wheelbarrow has also vanished.
Says Detective Constable Rick Milburn from Falmouth Police Station:
“I think we are looking for a horse.”
WARWICK Crown Court calls Barton ‘Bart’ Simpson, 56. Mr Simpson is accused of possessing a prohibited firearm at Birmingham airport on May 31 last year. He denies the charge.
He stands before the Recorder, a Mr Burns.
And that is all.
EVER find a kitten inside a sausage? Krod Yotchomrang, 52, did. She found the kitten inside a batch of foot-long sausages bought from a local market in Satuk district Thailand’s Buri Ram province. Says Krod:
“I was cutting the third sausage when I noticed what looked like a small cat. We almost threw up when we realised we were eating the body of a kitten for dinner.”
(In Thailand kittens are tea-time fare. The Thai’s are sticklers for standards.)
FOR every laughing policeman who will dance at the carnival, there is another humour-bypassed, flat-footed goon who hides behind his badge and pepper spray. YouTuber ‘RossCreations’ did a big jump over two Florida cops having a drink at a bench. It wasn’t very clever. It was agile. But it wasn’t clever. What happend next pretty much explain why everyone should be jumping over cops:
TO China, where Granny Yang, 87, is showcasing her massive hen’s egg. Media has massed in Bijie in Guizhou so see the massive egg. Says Yang, as the shell cracks revealing two yolks and an intact entire egg inside:
“I’m more than 80 now, but I have never seen eggs like this before.”
TYREE S. Carter, 20, has been banned from “all libraries on the face of the earth“.
Yeah, libraries. How quaint. If Carter transgresses again will he be banned from riding a Penny Farthing to the video store?
TO Dundee Sheriff Cour, where Thomas Murphy, 55, is due to be sentenced after admitting driving without a licence or insurance. When stopped he was, furthermore, three times over the drink drive limit. Only, Mr Murphy can’t find the dock. STV reports that he staggers into a glass panel at the side of the dock. When he does find his way in, Sheriff Richard Davidson says he can smell alcohol on the guilty man. Davidson and Murphy are 20-feet apart.
”My heart went a million miles an hour. I was hyperventilating.”
IN Bangkok, Thailand, a woman straddling a motorbike travelling at speed gave birth to a baby and then drove on leaving it behind on the road.
Ancharee Mookta witnessed the incident from a bus. She alerted the bus driver. He stopped the bus, and the baby was picked up. It was covered in blood and “fatty residue”. Someone then whisked the baby to Bangkok’s Wachira hospital on a motorbike.
WHY did the Chipotle Steak and Seafood Grill, Saugerties, Barclay Heights, New York, catch fire?
TO Cavill Avenue in Australia’s Surfers Paradise to see the human statue punch a man in the face. (I’d put another dollar in the slot to have him do it again.)
TEENAGERS who passed the “Love and Sexuality” course run by the Church of Sweden were given awards. The 14-year-olds got badges and certificates declaring them “qualified for sex”.
WHEN the owners put a nappy on Bournville the dog, they got an immediate reaction. One day nappies for dogs will be compulsory. No longer will owners have to carry little carrier bags in their pockets to store their pet’s poo in under it can be chucked away. They’ll just dress them in nappies, and toss them into trees instead:
ROBERT Jordan was barred from being a policeman with the New London, Connecticut, force because he was too clever. He scored 33 points in his police entrance exams. That’s too high. Says Jordan:
“This kind of puts an official face on discrimination in America against people of a certain class. I maintain you have no more control over your basic intelligence than your eye colour or your gender or anything else.”
IN Australia, a call has gone out for large kangaroo scrotums. John Kreuger of Townsville, Queensland, tells his local paper that the lack of big bouncing balls could hurt his business.
Mr Kreuger, 71, makes his living tanning and stuffing roo testicles. At his peak, he can process 500 hollowed scrota with his Acme “de-nutter”. He then fashions the balls into bottle openers and sells them for $25 a pop.
ON Google, and elsewhere, from time to time an image crops up that makes you wonder. And then it makes you stop and stare. And if you’re like us, you save the picture and show it other people, and gauge their reactions. Do any one of them say, “Oh, yeah, I remember this” or “Dad!” or “Did you find that on the crashed space ship? The Moolanians, right? I told them. They never believed me. But I told THEM!” Take a look through the gallery. If you recognise anyone, let the correct authorities know:
IS nothing safe? Stephen Thresh’s porn library featured images of women having sex with – get this- horses, dogs, a snake, a tiger and…an elephant!
At Hull Crown Court, Thresh admitted to possessing extreme pornographic images.
But the really odd thing is how he was captured. The Mirror says he downloaded the following message:
“Law enforcement authorities are have been informed.”
HOW well do you know your area? Can you find your own way home?
When Jian Tsui left the pub in Xinqiao village in Wenzhou at Zhejiang province in eastern China, he headed back to his domicile. He was on foot. What happened next, we’ll let him tell you:
“It was very early in the morning and it was also a cold so I decided just to take a shortcut. But I got stuck and realised I was going nowhere – so I tried to go back but then I realised that I couldn’t go back either. I tried calling for help but I couldn’t even breathe in properly so that I could shout.”