Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
To Florida, where mum-of-four Ashton Barton is under arrest for allegedly stealing a vibrating Durex Ring of Bliss sex toy.
She told police: “I would rather do this than be unfaithful. My husband doesn’t want to touch me anymore. I would rather do this than be unfaithful.”
The Ring of Bliss is placed around “the base of the penis”.
How she planned to get the penis attachment is not known, what with her husband’s being untouchable.
To Nebraska City, where two boys are watching the movie Mommie Dearest. The film’s bio runs:
Mommie Dearest, best selling memoir, turned motion picture, depicts the abusive and traumatic adoptive upbringing of Christina Crawford at the hands of her mother…screen queen Joan Crawford.
The two young movie fans, ages 4 and 6, may one day get to write a sequel of sorts in their own memoirs because their mum’s boyfriend, Glenn Oliver, 30, has duct-taped them to their chairs. Mary K. Lucas wanted her sons to watch the movie to show them she wasn’t the world’s meanest mom.
When she went out to work, Oliver tried to make sure the kids did as mum wanted by forcing them to watch the show.
Someone looking in spotted the children glued to their seats inside a filthy home. They called the police. And now sweet Oliver has been sentenced to three years in prison.
To Las Cruces, New Mexico, where a man is under arrest. His crime? Paying $6 for the pack of cigarettes he took.
Ellis C. Battista, 24, is charged with one count of breaking and entering, a fourth-degree felony. At around 3:30am, Battista and another man went to purchase a pack of cigarettes at Bradley’s convenience store.
The store normally operates 24 hours a day, but the clerk was not on duty and the store was locked. Store surveillance cameras and witnesses confirmed that Battista pounded on the store’s front door several times in an apparent attempt to gain the attention of the store clerk, who was not there.
Battista then allegedly kicked the door’s lower panel, which broke. Battista, believed to be intoxicated at the time, then entered the store. Video surveillance indicates Battista selected a pack of cigarettes and ensured that cameras captured images of him leaving $6 for the merchandise. A witness called 911 to report the break-in, and police officers located Battista nearby.
Yes, indeed, dear British readers, $6 for a packet of 20 salmons. It’s a steal.
Note: In the UK ciggies cost around £9 for 20. It is daylight robbery.
Looking to save money, the Nigerian government culled 23,846 workers from its payroll. The Finance Ministry says the mass sacking saved 2.29 billion naira (£8m, $11.53m). But don’t worry – the sacked workers never existed:
The audit is part of an anti-corruption campaign by President Muhammadu Buhari, who took power last year. Corruption and mismanagement have long been a challenge to Nigeria’s growth, and the government has promised to cut costs.
The audit started in December used biometric data and a bank verification number to identify holders of bank accounts into which salaries were being paid. This process allowed the identification of some workers who were receiving a salary that did not correspond to the names linked to the bank accounts.
It also revealed that some employees were receiving salaries from multiple sources…
And you can do your bit to help. General Dr Clement Okon has 57 millions trillion dollars in a private account. But he fell foul of the current President and needs your help to release the funds. Just send your bank details to….
To Florida, where Hope Hanak, 56, woman was allegedly tried to steal $500 worth of groceries from the Publix on Citrus Tower Boulevard.
Police said Hanak loaded groceries into reusable bags and went to the customer service desk to buy cigarettes. After paying for the cigarettes, she continued to walk out of the store without paying for the other items, according to the report. The total amount of items Hanak had in her bags was $508.75, police said. The store manager stopped Hanak, then called police. Hanak told police she had “just been been stupid and did not want to wait in line.”
Fair enough. Putting $500-worth of groceries through the tiles is laborious. The people stuck behind her would be tutting loudly and cause Hope no end of stress. Briskly walking off with the shopping was the sensible and selfless course of action.
The defence rests.
To Nashville International Airport, Tennessee, where Eric Cherry is stood before the American Airlines desk. He wants to buy a ticket. But he can’t because police say he can’t buy a ticket whilst naked. They arrest him.
Tod Brilliant was there. These are his pictures. “So this just happened at Nashville airport,” says Tod. “I walked up to him and said ‘You’re amazing.’ He replied, ‘Thanks.’ Then they came for him.”
Cherry has been charged with public indecency. It is now known where he kept his money to pay for the ticket.
Jesus is buff.
But where is he?
This story gets better the more you read. An inmate at DuPage County, Illinois, wants to be released within 14 days. He says that unless his the personal effects taken from him during his July 2015 arrest are retuned within that period, he will leave prison in a huff and moan a lot.
Ignatius “Michael” Pollara, 50, of Tamarac, Florida, wants returned his three pairs of underwear, a “Mr. Froggy” plush animal and concert tickets.
Mr Pollara is being held on $125,000 bail on a burglary charge, accused of stealing several paintbrushes and a box of pencils from a Lombard Hobby Lobby store.
Pollara argued in court on Thursday, against the advice of Assistant Public Defender Mark Lyon, that the Oak Brook Police Department’s “negligence and carelessness” in failing to safely store his items has deprived him of his due process. In a written motion, Pollara also demanded to be discharged from jail within 14 days if the items are not returned. DuPage Judge Brian Telander warned Pollara that his antics frequently come close to trying his patience. But he also asked prosecutors to try to find Pollara’s missing property not considered to be evidence.
Oak Brook police Sgt. Ben Kadolph said on Thursday afternoon his department has “a lot of property” taken during Pollara’s arrest, including a stuffed animal. “We have several boxes of stuff that was taken as evidence in this and possibly other cases,” Kadolph said. “And we have a box of his personal property.” In the motion filed on Feb. 10, Pollara identified the missing items he wants returned. Included in his list were a backpack and a suitcase, a laptop computer, several clothing items, “one Hearst Castle plush blanket,” “tickets to U2 and Grateful Dead concerts” and “one stuffed ‘Mr. Froggy’ plush animal with tag”…
“I think I’ve been here long enough for two paint brushes and a bag of pencils,” he said, before being warned by a deputy to calm down and lower his voice.
Two paint brushes and pencils warrants jail and needs $125,000 bail to talk free until his court date? Wow! America has lost the plot.
And then this
In Florida, Pollara is known as the “Toys ‘R’ Us Kid” and the “Lego Bandit” after he was convicted in a 2012 burglary spree in which he stole more than $2 million in Lego sets and toys from the Toys “R” Us chain.
Although given the prize of Lego, that haul amounts pretty much one Millennium Falcon and a Lego encounter group.
Dustin G. Taylor, 21, of Fort Smith, Arkansas, was unable to located the key that would release the handcuffs a lover had tied to his wrists during a sex game. He called for help. The police answered. They took Dustin to the station, where they released the cuffs. They soon released Dustin was a wanted man and handcuffed him.
It is not known whether Mr Taylor enjoyed the police’s rough treatment and dominant position, nor regrets not joining the police force, where his fetish for handcuffs could have been satisfied in the service of the common good.
To Adams County, Wisconsin, where 76-year-old John H. Przybyla says his failed breath test is down to the beer-battered fish he’d eaten.
The judge thought it was Przybyla who was battered.
He’s been found guilty of drink driving.
Soon, like the fish, he will travelling by bicycle.
WorldNews247 says the man was upset when the the elevator button he’d pressed didn’t cause the doors to open. So he kicked the doors. They opened. He then fell though the opening and down the shaft, breaking his legs.
The thrill of shoplifting can trigger all manner of bodily ticks. In Florida, for instance, Brooke Amber Sutton, 27, allegedly left behind a puddle of urine when she made off with more than $2,100 in designer clothes.
An employee at the Ann Taylor store at Silver Sands Premium Outlets in Miramar Beach, claims Sutton also left behind her cell phone.
Sutton’s been charged with theft, it having been argued that the only thing shed didn’t take was the piss, which she left behind.
Had Paula Jay Ernst, 51, entered, she would have said: “I took reusable grocery bags to steal $199 worth of groceries from a Hernando Publix grocery store and walked out without paying because I had defected in my pants.”
Too late to win the Sony Walkman but good enough to earn Ernst a few nights in jail.
File under: next time use the bag for life.
Evergreen State College police says Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop, 34, assaulted one of their number. Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop has been charged with first-degree assault (two counts), third-degree assault, third-degree malicious mischief and malicious harassment.
On Feb. 16, Mr Jeffrey Drew Wilschke – that being Mr Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop’s former name – will appear in court.
Jeff says he legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop in 2011.
In 2012, Mr Zopittybop-bop-bop was arrested on marijuana and weapon charges in Wisconsin. He was also arrested in 2013 on drug charges in Iowa.
Inside the Nova Mutum public jail, near Cuiaba, central Brazil, three female visitors are dressed in saucy knickers and dominatrix gear. They promise male prison guards a night they will never forget. To loosen up the guards for the mass orgy ahead, the women give them booze. It’s spiked. The women handcuff the men to the beds, break into the guns and munitions store, and flee.
Says police chief Angelina de Andrades Ferreira: “The plan was to seduce them. They served them cheap whisky with some substance to knock them out, then unlocked the central gate which accesses the internal cells. Whoever wanted to escape left by the front door. From the moment they drank the whisky the agents don’t remember a thing. One was found dizzy, trying to wake up. Another slept for the whole afternoon and couldn’t even be questioned.”
He could be feeling dizzy for months – years, if his wife is waiting.
The three prison officers had been arrested and will be charged with “facilitating a jailbreak” and “culpable embezzlement” because of the theft of firearms.
Of the 28 prisoners who walked out, 8 have been recaptured.
The other 20 have a thing for police officers with helicopters, and will be at the big tree at midnight. Come alone.
To Pennsylvania, where Michael Emrick, 36, has been arrested. That’s him in the T-shirt bearing the message “Really Good At Making Really Bad Decisions”.
And how was your day?
When police found Ralph Bishop, 53, he had his trousers around his ankles and was “interfering” with a tractor parked in a field outside Saxmundham, Suffolk. Well so says the Suffolk Gazette’s “Hugh Dunnit”.
The story says that when questioned, the man admitted to having had sex with around 450 tractors all over the Suffolk countryside. Officers searched his home. They found a stash of more than 5,000 tractor images on his laptop. He appeared to favour John Deere and Massey Ferguson tractors, particularly green ones.
A police officer tells Hugh Dunnit:
“We couldn’t believe it when we found him in the field. He was wearing a white t-shirt and Wellington boots and very little else. He was clearly in state of high excitement at the rear of the machine. Thankfully nobody else was around, but the field is close to a village primary school so we had to arrest him and educate him about the error of his ways. He told us he was particularly ‘in to’ axle grease and the presence of this around the back of tractors was all too much for him.”
This is, of course, a spoof story. But readers of the Daily Star don’t know that. The paper reports:
Like a tractor, the Star’s been had.
To Wellingborough, U.K., where amidst the fat, cardboard, grease and batter, Cassandra Perkins, 22, has found something exciting and newsworthy in her KFC dinner
“It looked disgusting and pink, I didn’t want to touch it,” she tells the Northampton Chronicle. “I first thought that it may have been brain or lung, it certainly wasn’t chicken. My burger had a hair in it as well.”
Beef? Fish? Tortoise? No. It was chicken. As KFC explains:
“Sometimes mistakes can happen and unfortunately on rare occasions, giblets are not removed when they should have been. We have reminded our team members to take extra care in future, and if a customer is ever unhappy with their food we encourage them to let our team know, who will always be happy to help.”
Who knew there was actual chicken in a KFC meal?
In other news: nuggets grow on trees.
To Florida, where the Brevard County Fire Rescue crew are responding to calls of a fire at Wendell Joyner’s home. They arrive to find 58-year-old racing inside the burning home to save his three dogs.
“I got out of the house, and then I realised, ‘Oh, wait a minute, my dogs are in there’, ” says Joyner said. “So, I went back inside to look for my dogs.”
But the smoke is too thick. He needs to get in fast. So he picks up a firefighter’s axe and tosses it through a front window. At which point police jump Joyner, tossing him to the ground. He lands on his face. The cops take Joyner for a medical check up before booking him on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
“My defence is I was trying to save my dogs,” Joyner says. “I think at the most, they should’ve taken me aside, and if they felt that I needed it to be in a squad car until things settled.”
On a brighter note: the dogs were rescued.