The good new is that the jet next to the one on fire is now covered in protective foam. The less good news is that the Air China jet sat smouldering on the runway at Fuzhou Changle airport continues to burn.
The right-hand engine of a Boeing 737, Air China Flight CA1822 to Beijing caught fire at around 8am. Crew on the plane behind, Fuzhou Airlines FU6577, spotted the flames and notified the Air China captain. The Air China aircraft closed down the engine and then called fightfighters.
Eight fire trucks arrived. They surrounded the Fuzhou Airlines aircraft and sprayed foam all over it. They then noticed the burning Air China aircraft.
Christmas news now in the form of Ted the cat, who was unable to sign for his advent calendar because the Royal Mail insisted he needed ID to pick it up, and what with Ted being a cat, he doesn’t have any. Moreover, he can’t hold a pen to scribble an unintelligible blot one of those electronic keypads.
Ted’s owner, Brittany Maher-Kirk, was out when the Royal Mail called, so the cheery package was sent back to the Royal Mail depot, who said she couldn’t pick it up as it was addressed to the cat.
Things were all sorted in the end. But we’re left to wonder what is inside a cat’s advent calendar – and if a dead song behind a perforated cardboard door is what Jesus would have wanted?
To New South Wales, Australia, where a bunch of marine students from the National Marine Science Centre, have ‘rescued’ a wallaby, “lost at sea”.
Says Laura Sanchez-Peregrine: “We see this thing swimming – it’s like a hairy thing. At first I thought it was a seal, but we came closer and it was a big wallaby, maybe a 25-kilogram wallaby – a big male. He looked really, really exhausted. We decided to help him, but it was really difficult to bring him on board. It’s a really small tinny, and he had really long claws, so it was pretty scary and he wouldn’t let us grab him.”
You’ve got to love these stories. The wallaby has trained, gathered sponsorship pledges and set out on what he hopes will be record-breaking swim. A few hundred yards from home, he’s acocsted by a gang of humans in a boat, who drag him from the water and return him to dry land.
They even give him a new name, Swampy.
Laura says Swampy, known to his pals as ‘Flipper’, was “remarkably good condition… He stayed on the beach for two minutes, super exhausted standing there, couldn’t move at all. And then yeah, he just went – hopped off and waved goodbye.”
Better check that wave one more time, Laura. Wallabies have more than one finger.
“We had an incident outside our house at 1.30am in the morning. My granddaughter was staying with us. She came in my room crying because she’d heard a noise, and said a man came running out [into the street] with something up his jumper. When we got to the upstairs window he was totally naked, trying to sit on the towbar of a campervan. It was disgusting. She’s 15.”
Police reportedly caught up with the tow jobbing pervert.
To Chelmsford Crown Crown, Essex, where defendant Aiden Wiltshire, 72, is in the dock. To his side is his cat Taylor, perched in a wheeled shopping trolley.
ITV says Mr Wiltshire “continually stroked” his cat.
Wiltshire’s lawyer, Gavin Burrell ,says of the cat and this client:
“It’s a crutch which he relies on. It’s in a basket and not roaming free. I appreciate it sounds somewhat odd but there’s documentary evidence that the cat does provide emotional support for the defendant to cope.”
As the defendant left the court, the judge advised him “don’t let the cat out of the bag”.
The tin lid is place on this story when we tell you that Wiltshire, of Chelmsford, is accused of two offences of… stalking. He has not yet entered any pleas. His case was adjourned until the new year.
Wolf claimed he suffered an acute case of priapism – a painfully prolonged erection — after riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle for two hours. He claimed the vibrations in the “ridge-like” motorcycle seat caused the condition that lasted several days, so he sued BMW North America and the seat manufacturer, Corbin-Pacific Inc.The lawsuit claimed product liability, negligence and negligent infliction of emotional distress. Wolf said he was forced to seek treatment at Marin General Hospital and then with other specialists.
On Tuesday – in a 14-page decision laced with medical language about Doppler ultrasounds, tumescence and aspiration of the corposa cavernosa — a three-judge 1st District Court of Appeal panel affirmed a San Francisco Superior Court decision to dismiss the case.
The judges found that Wolf’s appeal “fails to comply with the rules of appellate procedure” by failing to cite the relevant cases or statutes, and it “contains no intelligible argument.” The panel ordered Wolf to pay the defendants’ costs on appeal, a sum?
A born-again Christian regrets stealing vinyl from Out On The Floor Records in London’s Camden Town 10 years ago. The thief realised that his religion looks unkindly on stealing, so he parcelled up the goods and sent them back to the shop.
He slipped this note between the record sleeves:
“Dear – when I was a teenager, I pinched a few records from you, about 10 years ago. I became a Christian not too long ago and wanted you to have these records – I hope you can put them to good use. Sorry, with regards.”
The haul includes records by The Cure, The Smiths and The Stone Roses.
Basil the elderly Jack Russell was out walking in Chapel Hill, Lincolnshire, when a shaft of plant got wedged up his urethra.
“He was walking like John Wayne when he ran back to us so I knew something was wrong,” says owner Jill Larcombe. “So I checked him and when I saw it I did a double take. I thought ‘oh my goodness, it can’t be’ – there was this stick-like shaft sticking three inches out of him. I tried to give it a little pull but he went ballistic.”
To Texas, where mother-of-three Mandy Wells, 32, tells police she “thought for minute that it was a bad idea” to provide alcohol and drugs to a party of 12-14 year olds but “did it anyway”.
Court documents allege Wells provided her “depressed” 14-year-old daughter and her pals with cans of Coors Light beer (is that alcohol?) and marijuana, which she loaded into a glass “Hello Kitty” pipe.
Wells allegedly confessed to, yes, letting the kids booze, and, yes, letting them get stoned, but she “kept them under control.”
These are the Calpol Kids who graduated.
Wells is being held in the Parker County jail in lieu of $20,000 bond. Her children are away with the social services and the fairies.
An exasperated Vietnamese-Australian man has shared a photo of his passport to prove his name really is Phuc Dat Bich after he was banned from Facebook several times.
Dats Phuced Up
Mr Phuc Dat Bich, 23, says “nobody seems to believe me when I say that my full legal name is how you see it… I’ve been accused of using a false and misleading name, which I find very offensive. Is it because I’m Asian? Is it?”
Phuc Dat Bich says his Facebook account had been “shut down multiple times” with demands that he “change my name to my ‘real’ name”.
Mr Phuc works in IT, apparently. He might be known as Mr Phuc IT.
To Arkansas, where young white male offenders are offered a deal: take a sound spanking to your naked backside and get a reduced sentence. It’s alleged that Judge Joseph Boeckmann, swapped jail time for hanky spanky times. Boeckmann is also accused of having child pornography on his computer.
Boeckmann regularly awarded “substitutionary sentences” of community service to certain defendants, typically white males between the ages of 18 and 35, according to the ethics complaint released Tuesday:
And there are, as ever, the alleged dirty pictures:
Despite the seriousness of the allegations, the commission investigating them has no power to suspend Boeckmann or remove him from office, according to a report from ArkansasOnline.com. Instead, the commission would have to seek Boeckmann’s removal through the Arkansas Supreme Court.
Boeckmann, who isn’t commenting on the allegations, has 30 days to respond to the ethics complaint.
You wonder what kind of deal he’s try and negotiate, if found guilty.
Kink of the day features the 15-year-old who broke into a home in Laurel, Maryland, stole an iPad, masturbated into the fridge, ate some food from it, then left. No, wait. He ate the food before tossing off into the cold box.
The kid has standards.
|if you have been the victim of a break in, it might bean idea to toss out the mayonnaise.
To Florida, where a woman has been shot in the head at the Regency Inn and Suites in Tampa. Tyrone Fields, 21, says he shot her by accident. He says they were in a ‘role-play scenario’. He would hold a gun to her head as they had sex.
Fields says he removed the magazine out of the 9mm semi-automatic pistol but forgot about one bullet in the chamber. He says he lay on top of her, put the gun to her head and then it just went off.
The dead woman, Christina Meagher, 18, of Tampa, had no injuries consistent with sexual battery. Tyrone Fields can now enjoy some more freaky sex in a long prison sentence.
The US Registry of Motor Vehicles says Massachusetts woman Lindsay Miller can, as a Pastafarian, wear a colander on her head on her licence photo. The RMV only allows drivers to wear hats in their pictures for a medical or religious purpose. Miller says her Pastafarianism counts.
“As a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I feel delighted that my Pastafarianism has been respected by the Massachusetts RMV,” says Miller. “While I don’t think the government can involve itself in matters of religion, I do hope this decision encourages my fellow Pastafarian Atheists to come out and express themselves as I have.”
She was represented by The American Humanist Association, which said Pastafarians believe the existence of a Flying Spaghetti Monster is “just as probable as the existence of the Christian God”.
“The First Amendment applies to every person and every religion, so I was dismayed to hear that Lindsay had been ridiculed for simply seeking the same freedoms and protections afforded to people who belong to more traditional or theistic religions,” said Patty DeJuneas, a member of the Secular Legal Society, which works with the American Humanist Association. “We appreciate that the RMV recognised the error, apologised, and issued a licence respecting her First Amendment rights, and hope that RMV staff will be trained to respect diversity.”
Good to see that Rastafarians are not touchy about someone lampooning them. No bombs. No cries of how offended they are and vows to attack Miller.
Take it away, Barrington Levy – collie weed for the colandar: