Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
Jose Espinoza wanted to hide from the police. So. He spray-painted his face black and drove off in a stolen car.
You can think of a few other things that would arouse suspicion amongst the racially blind police force more than DWB (Driving While Black), such as:
a) Having a huge ISIS flag surgically attached to your forehead
Do all pets go to Heaven? It;’s big question to all you pets overs worried about the pets left behind after the rapture. Sure, pets can pray. But is any of it enough? Yes! Televangelist Jack Van Impe and his wife Rexella have news to thrill.
Spotter: Christian Nightmares
To a McDonald’s in Roseburg, Oregon, where coffee is a perfume:
Have we let the murderous goons of Islamic State infect out minds? In Italy, police were called when a local spotted an Isis flag hanging outside an apartment building.
They called the police because they saw a flag. Incredible.
But the really sad thing is that the police responded, racing over to the apartment block in Porto Recanati, on Italy’s eastern coast. The police searched the building and questioned residents. They then noted that the ISIS flag was a jacket that had been blown into the trees after being hung out to dry.
“The Daily Star has a short story on a “thieving Romanian dwarf”.
In “‘Jet Bag’ for dwarf, the Star says a Romanian is being “probed for planning to smuggle a thieving dwarf out of Britian in his plane lugguage”. The man is Doru Apetrei wrote on Facebok. The Daily Mirror has the full text of his appeal in the story headlined “Police investigating ‘plan to smuggle thieving dwarf out of UK in plane luggage'”:
“Good evening! I’ve got a midget friend, 38 inches tall. He’s done a lot of stupid stuff here: he broke into a gas station in Elephant & Castle, also into some houses in Seven King (3 or 4), and he’s done some cards. But I won’t go into details! He’s being looked for here and wants to go back to Romania. He knows I’m leaving on the 11th [of March], so he suggested I put him in my luggage. He’ll add some money to my ticket and extra for the luggage (which is normal, I think!).
“Is there any risk of me getting caught? And if so, what can happen to me? The midget is an adult (he’s 30).”
The Philippines police showcase Andy Loyola, arrested after he was allegedly caught having sex with a missing cow. Farmer Rustico Sarno says his cow went missing. And when it came back it was pregnant. But it has never been with a bull.
Sarno alleges Loyola, 46, raped his cows, horses and water buffalo.
Loyola is at Silang Cavite Municipal Police Station, south of Manila. He is charged of violating the Animal Welfare Act.
This is a water buffalo:
Padge-Victoria Windslowe is the self-styled “the Michelangelo of buttocks injections”. Like you high-brow readers, we know Michelangelo to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle who gets his energy to whoop ass from pizzas. In turns out that Windslowe was referencing the Vatican ceiling painter who made David with the tiny penis.
And it further transpires she was more Travis Perkins or Tony Hart than Michelangelo, because in 2011 Padge-Victoria killed 20-year-old Claudia Aderotimi during an illegal surgical procedure that involved industrial-grade silicone and Krazy Glue.
Windslowe has been convicted of murder.
“Me and my lady’s having a misunderstanding n’ shit about something I bought,” says Robert Collins of Alliance, Ohio. “I bought some cocaine earlier, and she wanted to take my cocaine.”
Collins says his good lady wife did steal his cocaine. So. he called the police.
Collins for drug possession, and “charged with misuse of 911 and drug paraphernalia”.
While at the station, Mrs Collins had full use of the family home facilities…
You can buy Jerry Garcia’s severed fingers. and the owner will toss in a FREE glass and FREE brine.
Craigslist user ‘Matt’ has more on the Grateful Dead singer’s digit (condition: ‘good’):
I am selling Jerry Garcia’s severed finger to raise money for the upcoming GD 50th Anniversary show in Chicago. It pains me to part with this one of a kind collectable, but I believe Jerry would want me to see the last show. Finger is preserved in brine solution and sealed in air tight bottle for long term storage.
It’s what he would have wanted…
Villain of the day is 21-year-old Nebraska motorist Jordan Meier. When police pulled him over for a traffic offence, they searched the vehicle. They noticed a plastic tub of Land O’Lakes sour cream. They spotted that someone had written on the tub “Not Weed.”
When police opened the container, they found more than 11 grams of marijuana inside.
It was weed.
Meier was arrested.
Chick Career: one man’s comic-book crusade for humanity
Are you worried about the growing menace of the Homosexual-Catholic-Islamic-Satanist-Masonic-Alien conspiracy to promote evolutionism, fornication, pornography, pornography, paedophilia, pop music, alcohol and drugs?
Well in that case, it’s high time you got acquainted with Jack Chick – crazy name, crazy guy – and his body of enlightening works.
I first became aware of Jack when I purchased This Was Your Life for a few pence in a Christian bookshop many decades ago. Its primitive and unsubtle visual style intrigued me, as did the way it crudely homed in on the childlike insecurities that lurk within us. Here it is, animated for your convenience (with an extra ending that is definitely NOT in Jack’s original)…
But if the theme of the prodigal son is a familiar one, Jack’s other work takes us to nightmare scenarios far beyond the normal scriptural pastures, where the very existence of the human race hangs in the balance…
So who is Jack Chick? And how did this unlikely evangelist embark on his pioneering cartooning career?
According to his website, ‘As he grew, Jack was constantly drawing, and honing skills that God would later use in a great way.’
A great – some might say mysterious –way indeed.
Jack got off to an inauspicious start: ‘While in high school, none of the Christians would have anything to do with him because of his bad language. They all agreed not to witness to him, convinced that he was the last guy on earth who would ever accept Jesus Christ.’
After high school, Jack studied drama, went in the army, and eventually became an actor.
Then one day his mother-in-law insisted that he listen to Charles E Fuller’s Old Fashioned Revival Hour on the radio, during which Jack fell to his knees ‘and my life was changed forever’.
First he borrowed $800 from the credit union to fund the initial printing of Why No Revival?
Then, while out driving, Jack spotted some teenagers on the street. ‘At the time, I didn’t like teenagers or their rebellion,’ he recalled. ‘But, all of a sudden, the power of God hit me and my heart broke and I was overcome with the realisation that these teens were probably on their way to hell. With tears pouring down my face, I pulled my car off the road and wrote as fast as I could, as God poured the story into my mind.’
The result? A Demon’s Nightmare
Jack’s boss told him that the Chinese people had been won over to Communism through mass distribution of cartoon booklets, and this planted the seed of a plan in his fertile mind.
When invited to speak at a local prison, he prepared a flip chart to illustrate his speech. So successful was his performance that ‘nine of the eleven inmates present trusted Christ as their Saviour’.
The artwork from his talk formed the basis of This Was Your Life, the seminal ‘Chick Tract’ mentioned earlier.
The early tracts were not an instant hit.
‘A lot of the bookstores were really outraged at some guy using these cartoons to present the gospel,’ remembered Jack. ‘They thought it was sacrilegious.’
Half a century later, however, with hundreds of tracts translated into a hundred tongues, Chick claims a combined sales figure of 750 million: ‘His burden has always been to get the gospel into the hands of millions of lost people around the world. He wanted to be a missionary himself, but his new wife wanted no part of missionary life. Her aunt had been a missionary in Africa. While pregnant, she was being carried across a river on a stretcher, when one of those carrying her lost a leg to an alligator. But God had other plans. He wanted Jack to stay home and produce effective gospel literature that missionaries could use to win the lost. As a result, many missionaries love Chick tracts and use them to reach multitudes they could never reach one on one. Today, over fifty years after writing his first tract, God is still giving Jack Chick new gospel tracts. In fact, he is now producing some of his most popular work. As of this writing, five of the ten most popular Chick tracts in stock have been written in the last year or two.’
Jack’s tracts bring new and vivid illustrations of Christian tenets. In The Execution, a murderer is spared the gallows – only to discover (to his horror) that his own mother offered to be hanged in his place, just as Jesus died for our sins. In Flight 144, a Christian couple who have spent 50 years doing good works around the world in God’s name are killed in a plane crash and refused entry to heaven because good works don’t save sinners – only God can. In Heart Trouble, a man visits a cardiologist who tells him that he will die (‘everybody dies’) and that everyone is born with a heart problem: ‘the ugly things down deep in your heart that we can’t see… But God does.’ In Lisa (now no longer available but posted online by Chick’s detractors) a doctor informs a father that he has given his young daughter an STD – then saves his soul by introducing him to Jesus. In Big Daddy? a crazed teacher throws a boy out of his class for questioning the theory of evolution.
And so on. Targets range from the world’s biggest religions, science, abortion and homosexuality through to Santa Claus, Halloween, Harry Potter, and Dungeons and Dragons.
Many people seem to find it amusing to republish the distinctive Chick Tracts online, with amended text that ridicules Jack’s urgent message.
Some claim that Jack is a bigot and a hater. Others, that he is delusional and mad.
The latter share their delight in Jack Chick’s nightmarish visions at The Chick Tract Club.
But for the real thing, and the fount of all such wisdom, visit the home of Chick and count your blessings.
A spot of nominative determinism now, readers, as we spot Joe Head, 11, whose was rusticated for wearing his hair in a short ponytail in tribute to Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimović. Young Head’s school, Pope Paul Catholic Primary in Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, wrote to his parents. The letter called the hairstyle “unsuitable” and “associated with drug-taking”.
The letter was from the headmistress, Helen Lines.
Joe’s Mum, Mandy Head tells the media:
“I became upset that she could associate drug-taking and my son in the same letter and it became offensive. I’m not aware of any rules for hair at the school. We will discuss it with them, but they didn’t have to add drug-taking into the letter.”
Joe’s error seems to have been in picking which sporting hero to emulate. If you really wants to be associated with drugs, we’d suggest cool kids eschew the blameless Zlatan and aim higher, perhaps piling their mop on top of their heads and spraying it bullet hard.
“At first I didn’t know what had happened, this was about 1am and we were just finishing up and heading home I seen this guy lying flat on his back with blood pouring from him, so naturally enough my partner and I went over to help him.,” says Gerry Brady, owner of the Pheasant pub in Drogheda, Co Louth, Ireland.
“Initially I thought the poor bloke had been knocked down by a car, he was in such a bad way And then when I asked him what had happened he told me his mate had attacked him He tried to explain that he had been drinking with a friend and a row started and he was battered. I immediately told him I was ringing an ambulance and the guards as he needed to report it, but he didn’t seem to want the cops involved which made me suspicious.
“My partner then noticed the damage to her car, I had a look at the Merc and could see dents on it. We got the cops and they took him away after we showed them the CCTV. We have the whole thing on CCTV, and it’s quite hilarious. At first he throws a small stone at the windscreen without success; he tries again with the same stone and still nothing happens. At that stage he decides to have a go at my better half’s car which was parked close by and manages to break a window and gets inside before cleaning out the glove compartment.
“But he is still determined to get into the Merc and walks down a lane at the side of the pub before returning with the concrete block. Now fair play to him he gives it a right go He takes a run-up and really lashes it at the windscreen, but unfortunately for him it rebounds and smashes him in the face, lifting him up into the air and laying him flat out. I’ll give him this – he was determined, he had three separate goes at it. He got some smack when the brick rebounded back into his gob.”
Life is imitating Laurent Chéhère, whose “Flying Houses” are “reconstructed houses appear to float in a silvery sky”. In Klamath County, Oregon, a 1,200 square foot house has vanished. Did it fly away?
Sheriff Frank Skrah tells media:
“We had a complete home stolen. This isn’t a motor home, this isn’t a mobile home and this is a ‘home… it was on the foundation you see it on now.”
As for Laurent Chéhère, well, his hosues are msemerising:
Dmitry Nikolaev says he was chatted up by a young woman in a Moscow bar. He says they had a drink. And a sauna, as you do. Then he blacked out. When he came to, he was by a busstop. He felt a pain. He reached down he noticed his hand was wet. It was blood. And where his testicles should be there was nothing.
The Daily Mail reports it thus:
There is talk of a gang of testicle thieves who sell fresh nuts on the black market.
Is it true?
On Oct. 14, 1922, the Lawrence Journal-World reported on a 34-year-old man in Chicago. Joseph Wozniak had his testicles stolen.
“Four men leaped on him, put a bag over his head, and loaded him into an automobile.” They stole his gonads for an experiment in gland transplantation, perhaps for the purpose of rejuvenating some infirm or aged man.”
It was ‘Gland Larceny':
Mr Burns is away…
Jasmine Tridevil, the woman with THREE breasts is on the cover of the Daily Star. The paper has a scoop. Yes, it is true. The third breast is not a breast at all. It’s a huge marshmallow, a rolled up sock, a deviled dumpling or whatever other cunning device Alisha Hessler shoved in a bra to dupe the media, and ruin the Daily Telegraph when its chief political writer Peter Oborne quit citing Jasmine as the stuff you find under your nails when you scrape the news barrel’s bottom.
It’s left to the venerable breast experts at the Daily Star to expose the bare, naked truth:
And there on Page 3 s the thermal fact, as reveales by a Gwrman TV channel’s thermal camera.
Unless it is real. And the third breast delivers cold drinks only…
To symbols lose power over time? A store in Auckland, New Zealand, has removed Nazi temporary tattoos form sale. Staff at No.1 Mart in Manukau were “unaware of what the sign represented”.
Anthony Smith knew. He saw them whilst out shopping.
“What the f***? I had a look and yeah, it was an actual swastika with an eagle, next to peace signs weirdly enough.”
All I vant is a little peace, as Hitler himself sang:
I don’t want war.
All I want is peace. Peace.
A little piece of Poland
A little piece of France
A little piece of Portugal
And Austria perchance
A little slice of Turkey
And all that that entails
Und then a piece of England Scotland
lreland and Wales
A little nip of Norway
A little spot of Greece
A little hunk of Hungary
Oh what a lovely feast
A little bite of Belgium
And now for some dessert
And Russia wouldn’t hurt
To Ooooooooklahomaaaahhhhhh!, where Amber Ellis is accused of biting her boyfriend’s penis off.
The couple had rowed on a night out. He called her needy. Back home, Ellis had stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door.
He fell asleep on the sofa.
A Canadian MP blamed his too-tight underpants for leaving parliament in a hurry on Thursday morning….
“I can blame it on a sale that was down at the Hudson’s Bay [Company] – they had men’s underwear on for half price. I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me and I find it difficult to sit for any length of time.” So says Canadian MP Pat Martin explaining why had left his seat after a vote.
“I apologize if it was necessary for me to leave my seat briefly, but I did not mean to forfeit my right to vote.”
Is it advisable to make a bad first impression and then set about undoing it? We ask in light of the story of the man on the London Underground. Last Mondy, a passenger as blocking his way. Our hero did as the mild-mannered Englishman must: he shoved the blocker out the way and told him to eff-off.
He then continued on his journey for an interview as Python Developer at Forward Partners.
To Indiana, where David J. Paulson, 35, of Hamlet is under arrest. His crime: being shot.
Paulson is charged with two felony counts of neglect of a dependent, age 4.
Paulson was driving when his young daughter, who wasn’t in a child restraint seat, removed a loaded .40 calibre Smith & Wesson handgun from his pocket and shot him in the arm.
It as an accident, of course. Right, honey? Right..?
To Chicago, where Linda B. Lopez, 35, admits setting fire to her apartment.
Well, Lopez told police she fell asleep, and when she woke up, her marijuana was gone.
Her pointed the finger at her live-in boyfriend. In teh heat of a row, she poured perfume onto towels and set them alight. It turns out that inhaling burning cotton (with sandlewood oil base notes) does get you buzzed. It just causes lots of damage and a visti from the emergency services.
Lopez has been sentenced to four years in prison and pay $1,000 in restitution.
To Saudi Arabia, where a local man has said something remarkably stupid.
The Hong Kong Medical Journal reports that in November 2010 a newborn girl was born. Insider her were two 8 to 10-week-old fetuses. One weighed half an ounce. The other weighed a third of an ounce. Ech had four limbs, a spine, a rib cage, intestines, and an anus.
“Since it is impossible for the little girl to have conceived the pregnancy on her own, the fertilization of the twin fetuses, of course, belongs to her parents, which has gone to the wrong place,” a local medic tells the South China Morning Post.
Measles are for cool kids: extracts from Melanie’s Marvelous Measles (the only book you’ll ever read!)
MEASLES are back. And that’s cool. Measles is the hipster disease.
The great thing about measles is that they are FREE! But even then some mums and dads are too uptight to get with the cool.
But in Melanie’s Marvelous Measles these stiffs can get down (six feet under -ed). The books costs. But it is worth it?
The author/publisher writes on Amazon:
“Melanie’s Marvelous Measles was written to educate children on the benefits of having measles and how you can heal from them naturally and successfully. Often today, we are being bombarded with messages from vested interests to fear all diseases in order for someone to sell some potion or vaccine, when, in fact, history shows that in industrialized countries, these diseases are quite benign and, according to natural health sources, beneficial to the body. Having raised three children vaccine-free and childhood disease-free, I have experienced many times when my children’s vaccinated peers succumb to the childhood diseases they were vaccinated against. Surprisingly, there were times when my unvaccinated children were blamed for their peers’ sickness. Something which is just not possible when they didn’t have the diseases at all. Stephanie Messenger lives in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, and devotes her life to educating people about vaccine dangers and supporting families in their natural health choices. She has the support of many natural therapists and natural-minded doctors.”
The author writes:
This book takes children aged 4 – 10 years on a journey of discovering about the ineffectiveness of vaccinations, while teaching them to embrace childhood disease, heal if they get a disease, and build their immune systems naturally.
Readers on Amazon love it!
Buy now and buy only ONCE!
And don’t forget to rub it all over youir infected kid before passing it on!
Note: She also wrote this:
Sarah Visits a Naturopath
A children’s storybook written by Stephanie Messenger
This book exposes children aged 4 – 10 years, to the idea that they create most of their ill health by the choices they make. It encourages them to listen to the messages their bodies give them. Sarah visits a naturopath to get advice on staying well according to nature’s laws.
A naturopath speaks…