Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
A man has been killed by the condom machine he was trying to rob in Germany. The victim and two accomplices had rigged the vending machine up with explosives. One stroke of the trigger and the thing would blow. But the 29-year-old hadn’t taken enough precautions. A piece of the detonated machine hit him in the head.
It just went off too soon.
The store workers told the man the pump’s flat results were down to “operator error”. The man disagreed. He pulled out a handgun and pointed it at the clerk’s head. He demanded a new pump, which he received before fleeing.
Police say the penis pump bandit “remains at large” – but whether or not he’s now large enough remains to be seen.
To Pensacola, Florida, where a man is attempting to travel through time in a Dodge Challenger.
He loses control of the vehicle and careers into the offices of the Advanced Tax Services and Pensacola Caskets.
The would-be time time traveller is currently in hospital wondering if he can undo the damage by putting the car in reverse.
To Tulsa, Oklahoma, where Paul Wayne Terry, 27, and Sonja Marie Moro, 30, are accused of robbery with a dangerous weapon (namely, a knife).
The victim said he heard a knock at his front door. He opened it. Terry and Morro, his ex-girlfriend, rushed him. They pulled a knife and demanded his wallet, which he handed over.
It was a bit of a blur. But he recalls that the man sported horns tattooed on his forehead, Nazi runes and a kissy mouth on his cheeks and the message “FUCK POLICE” on his head.
Round up the usual suspects.
The woman tells them she can hear a woman yelling “ISIS is good, ISIS is great”.
Police attend. They find a woman in the throes of passion. She’s having sex and ready to blow.
No terrorists are in the area.
Can you find the panda in Hungarian artist Dudolf’s cartoon?
To central China’s Henan Province to see the tigers at the zoo. To make things more exciting, the zoo thought it a good idea to sail punters over the tigers in a chairlift.
One man wanted more. He jumped in.
Avid technophile, program developer, and educator, William Ralph “Bill” Fink, whose master functions were harnessed by Microsoft Corp. as a technical evangelist has sadly passed away at the age of 46.
Mr Fink, from Belleville, Illinois, encountered an unhandled exception in his core operating system, which prematurely triggered a critical STOP condition on Wednesday, December 16, 2015.
He is survived in legacy by his wife, Rhonda Michele, nee Gardiner, Fink, his children, Cassidy Gardiner and William John Fink, his parents, William and Nancy, nee Kaiser, Fink, and his brothers, Michael and Matthew (Kelly) Fink.
Diagnostics indicated multiple cascading hardware failures as the root problem. Though his hardware has been decommissioned, Bill’s application has been migrated to the Cloud and has been repurposed to run in a virtual machine on an infinite loop. < END OF LINE >
To Virginia, where Kyle Dustin Head, 24 – and, yep, more nominative determinism – is under arrest. Head “was apparently under the influence of marijuana when he called 911 and asked the telecommunicator for rolling papers,” according to a statement from Waynesboro Police Department Sgt. Brian Edwards.
Head called 911 “in a disoriented state requesting drug paraphernalia.”
Head was found “sitting in a parked 2005 Chevrolet pick-up truck which had the strong odour of marijuana emanating from it. It was not explained how the plant matter came to be in his ear.
The moral of this story: get a pipe, dude.
Mom wanted to make a glass with the phrase “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on the side.
“My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explains redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.”
Therapist. The rapist. There’s a B-movie in this.
Spotter: Tech Insider |
Two students at a Tennessee high school have ben jailed for wearing saggy trousers. Found guilty of indecent exposure, the pair were caged for a total of 48 hours.
One student, Antonio Ammons, is upset that he was jailed and ordered to pay $250 in fines and court fees.
All sad and upsetting. Students should be dressed in shorts and smart blazer at all times, unless ‘shirts sleeve order’ is called, in which instance pressed shirts should be tucked into the top of plain white Y-fronts. Anything less is anarchy.
When police investigated, they found out that he also had married wife No. 2 before his divorce from wife No. 1 was finalised. Blake pleaded no contest on Tuesday to a charge of bigamy, stemming from the overlap between the end of his first marriage and the start of his second, which began in September 2012. Henrico County Circuit Judge L.A. Harris Jr. sentenced Blake to 1½ years of incarceration. The judge gave Blake a total sentence of five years, with 3½ years suspended…
. Before being sentenced, Blake spoke briefly. “I want to apologise to all y’all in the courtroom,” he said. He said he didn’t realise he was committing a felony when he committed to marriage. “I didn’t know I was breaking the law at all,” he said. “You can put me on a lie detector.”
Time, perhaps, for lie detectors in Church. Place your fingers on the pad and repeat after me, “I promise to love and obey…”
To Iowa City, where Gloria Laniece Bryan, 66, of Council Bluffs, has been charged with third-degree harassment and trespass after an incident on Oct. 20 at City High.
Keen to see her estranged grandson, Bryan strapped on a false beard and sneaked into the boy’s school. Disguised as an aged white male, Bryan made her way to the school’s cafeteria, where she found her grandson having lunch. She is said to have handed the boy toys and sweets.
San Diego County Sheriff’s deputies allegedly found a few items on Kristina Green, 19, and Gary Withers, 38 – most of which had been dropped off by the Amazon delivery truck driver they were following in Encinitas, Southern California.
Police arrested the two men. They found:
Amazon packages the driven they were tailing had dropped off on his rounds.
One loaded firearm
13 pieces of stolen mail
Methamphetamine and heroin
A notebook in which thy had compiled a to-do list. One do “Kiss mom n tell her she’s loved.” Another said: “Shoplift.”
The pair are facing charges of mail theft, possession of meth, possession of heroin, felon in possession of a handgun and possession of stolen property.
The only thing not stolen, allegedly, was that kiss.
Anyone eating at a restaurant in smoggy Zhangjiagang city, Jiangsu Province, was charged one yuan (10p, $0.15) to cover the cost of breathing air fit for human consumption.
Police are unable to say if Mr Klab was under the influence at the time of his arrest and photoshoot.
To Mitcham, where police are seeking a man who drove into the Co-op supermarket on a hoverboard – and drove out with a case of Lucozade, which he forgot to pay for.
Anyone feel a Luozade marketing campaign coming on: Lucozade gives you wings? Or has that been done?
The good new is that the jet next to the one on fire is now covered in protective foam. The less good news is that the Air China jet sat smouldering on the runway at Fuzhou Changle airport continues to burn.
The right-hand engine of a Boeing 737, Air China Flight CA1822 to Beijing caught fire at around 8am. Crew on the plane behind, Fuzhou Airlines FU6577, spotted the flames and notified the Air China captain. The Air China aircraft closed down the engine and then called fightfighters.
Eight fire trucks arrived. They surrounded the Fuzhou Airlines aircraft and sprayed foam all over it. They then noticed the burning Air China aircraft.
You have nothing to worry about.
Christmas news now in the form of Ted the cat, who was unable to sign for his advent calendar because the Royal Mail insisted he needed ID to pick it up, and what with Ted being a cat, he doesn’t have any. Moreover, he can’t hold a pen to scribble an unintelligible blot one of those electronic keypads.
Ted’s owner, Brittany Maher-Kirk, was out when the Royal Mail called, so the cheery package was sent back to the Royal Mail depot, who said she couldn’t pick it up as it was addressed to the cat.
Things were all sorted in the end. But we’re left to wonder what is inside a cat’s advent calendar – and if a dead song behind a perforated cardboard door is what Jesus would have wanted?
To New South Wales, Australia, where a bunch of marine students from the National Marine Science Centre, have ‘rescued’ a wallaby, “lost at sea”.
Says Laura Sanchez-Peregrine: “We see this thing swimming – it’s like a hairy thing. At first I thought it was a seal, but we came closer and it was a big wallaby, maybe a 25-kilogram wallaby – a big male. He looked really, really exhausted. We decided to help him, but it was really difficult to bring him on board. It’s a really small tinny, and he had really long claws, so it was pretty scary and he wouldn’t let us grab him.”
You’ve got to love these stories. The wallaby has trained, gathered sponsorship pledges and set out on what he hopes will be record-breaking swim. A few hundred yards from home, he’s acocsted by a gang of humans in a boat, who drag him from the water and return him to dry land.
They even give him a new name, Swampy.
Laura says Swampy, known to his pals as ‘Flipper’, was “remarkably good condition… He stayed on the beach for two minutes, super exhausted standing there, couldn’t move at all. And then yeah, he just went – hopped off and waved goodbye.”
Better check that wave one more time, Laura. Wallabies have more than one finger.
Pixee Fox found a surgeon willing to remove six of her ribs so that she could look more like cartoon figures, such as Tinker Bell, Sleeping Beauty,
Fred Flintstone and Jessica Rabbit.
Fox now boasts a 16-inch waist, which she hopes to slim down to 14 inches.
Pixee’s nose, eyelids, buttocks, lips, eyebrows, labia and cheeks are all surgery assisted.
Oh, yeah, and her massive chest, too:
Other Parent of the day is Coweta County’s Veridiana Pardo Meo Erbskorn, 47.
She’s been arrested after she allegedly scrubbed make-up from her 12-year-old son’s face with a steel-wool Brillo pad to help him pass rapidly though his “rock and roll stage.”
Erbskorn was taken to the Coweta County Jail on charges of child cruelty, reckless conduct and battery.
She wore no make-up.
Shaggin’ wagons were mostly meant for two. But in Cornwall a van enthusiast has been seen using the towbar of a campervan to pleasure himself.
Jackie Walker, from Newquay, tells the Plymouth Herald:
“We had an incident outside our house at 1.30am in the morning. My granddaughter was staying with us. She came in my room crying because she’d heard a noise, and said a man came running out [into the street] with something up his jumper. When we got to the upstairs window he was totally naked, trying to sit on the towbar of a campervan. It was disgusting. She’s 15.”
Police reportedly caught up with the tow jobbing pervert.