Anorak

Strange But True | Anorak - Part 6

Strange But True Category

Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.

Man found with arm inside cow’s anus banned from every farm in the country

John Curno, 80, has been found guilty of two counts of outraging public decency. Last summer, Mr Curno was seen “talking” to a herd of 150 cows and masturbating in meadows at Park Lodge Farm in Uxbridge. Susan Howie, who runs the farm with her husband Ian, told Uxbridge Magistrates Court that on two occasions she spotted Curno molesting her cattle. Other witnesses claim to have seen Curno push his entire left arm into a cow’s rear end before masturbating.

“The cows are left unattended in the field especially in the summer we leave them in there day and night,” said Mrs Howie. “I went out in my white pick up truck and the gentleman was with a cow, he had his left hand interfering with the cow and his right hand on a part of his lower body, his shirt was covering it. He was masturbating you could see it moving up and down and his trousers and his boxer shorts were at his ankles. He stopped and looked up, he grabbed his boxers and his trousers and ran to the stile. I was disgusted, we gave nobody permission to touch or interfere with our cows, it might seem funny to you but they are family they are not just cows.”

How does one gain permission for such things? That’s moot.

Of another time, she recalls:  “It was 8.30pm and we were running a bit late with the milking. It was the same field as before, this time he had had his whole hand in the cow.”

“I’m not a violent person, I have a weakness with animals,” Curno reportedly told police when arrested.

At Uxbridge Magistrates Court, Chair of the Bench Michael Akers told Curno that sentencing had been adjourned until next month. In the meanwhile, Curno is banned from every farm with animals in the country.

Posted: 3rd, February 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


The eBay Bandit! Rob Wolchek and the great story of Kelly’s stolen camera

Great telly from the USA in the shape of Rob Wolchek of Fox 2 News Detroit. This is a great toy about professional photographer Kelly, who found the geezer selling her stolen stuff on eBay.

 

Posted: 29th, January 2018 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


A weird anti-masturbation video: beyond parody

jehovah masturbation video

 

This Jehovah Witness anti-masturbation training video contains parts reportedly from Watchtower, the sect’s magazine. It’s brought to us by former Jehovah’s Witness Lloyd Cedars. He notes:

Ever since realizing at the age of 30 that I had wasted decades of my life in a harmful, abusive cult, I have tried to channel my anger and frustration in positive ways – by creating content that can help those struggling with Jehovah’s Witness indoctrination begin thinking for themselves (preferably more quickly than I did)!

He says this about the video:

Two extremely sensitive videos have been leaked from inside Watchtower – one for men, and one for women. Both seem to be intended as induction videos for new “bethelites,” or workers at Jehovah’s Witness branches globally and the headquarters in New York.

Presented by Governing Body helpers Ralph Walls and Gary Breaux, the videos perfectly illustrate the extent to which Witness sex lives are policed, and give a glimpse of the religion’s growing paranoia about homosexuality.

The rebuttal for these videos is in production, and will be released on Saturday, January 27, 2018. There will also be an article about the videos on JWsurvey.org.

Please note: yes, the clips of Walls and Breaux are real! The only thing I’ve added is the music, the captions, and the stock footage. 🙂

 


Spotter: Boing Boing

Posted: 28th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


Cocaine snowball fights worry locals in County Tyrone

tyrone herald cocaine funny

To County Tyrone, where the Tyrone Herald has news of cocaine fights:

Posted: 25th, January 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Data proves that owning a bulldog is for idiots

Thanks to David McCandless we know which dogs make the best pals. Considering six facts – intelligence, costs, longevity, grooming, ailments, and appetite – McCandless crunched the numbers and concluded that bulldogs are not worth the effort an expense.

 

best dogs to buy and own

 

best dogs to buy and own best dogs to buy and own best dogs to buy and own

 

Spotter:  Knowledge Is Beautiful

Posted: 23rd, January 2018 | In: Money, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Durham’s mini police bring their own sarcasm

The spirit of Pavel Morozov is evoked in Durham, where the local constabulary have created a ‘Mini Police’ force. A platoon of uniformed nine to 11 year olds is on patrol.

Durham police outline the mission: “The objective is to introduce these children to a positive experience of policing and to get them involved in the local community.”

And you will all be inducted:

A digital platform also encourages schools to embrace the Mini Police concept in their environment covering topics such as lesson plans, finding neighbourhood policing teams and sharing good practise.

If your kinder believe in the State’s every law and want to see them all upheld, sign up here. Failure to do so is not a hate crime – yet.

 

durham mini police

One of life’s great “experiencences

 

 

The Mini Police project within Durham Constabulary is a fun and interactive volunteering opportunity for 9 to 11-year-old children. The Mini Police support the force priorities, through participation in community engagement events. Those involved can look forward to developing a confident voice through enjoyable experiencences [sic].

Children who become part of the programme help to tackle local issues, as highlighted by their own communities. By assisting the police service, they also carry that ownership and pride back into the community they live in.

 

What do these new community owners do?

mini police

Police really are getting younger.

 

Posted: 22nd, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


Kazakh oligarch’s $179,000 wedding cake doubles as a starter home

To a wedding in Kazakhstan, where guests are touring the $179,000 wedding cake that doubles as a starter home for newly weds Amirzhan, grandson of Shymkent oligarch Serikzhan Seitzhanov, and Aruzhan, daughter of Kairat Satybaldy, a Kazakh businessman, nephew of the country’s president. Built by Renat Agzamov, a former Russian boxing champion, the cake is well appointed, with master bedroom, basement polo studio, games room and living quarters for umpteen servants.

 

Реализовали сложнейший международный проект🔥 диаметр торта 3 метра, высота 4,2 ( с тележкой) . Вес около 1500кг. С такими размерами доставить заготовки в другую страну – это ОЧЕНЬ сложно ! Но мы справились, потому что у нас самая сильная команда профессионалов в мире!🔥🔥🔥 Перед вывозом торта в зал – ровно 3 суток без сна, но результат того стоит! Благодарю свою команду за мощный рывок в космос 🚀 Просто ценю и уважаю каждого😘❤️. Благодарю принимающую сторону за очень тёплый и душевный прием🙏! Как приятно работать, когда тебя любят, ценят и уважают😘❤️. Ну и самое главное – счастья молодым и благополучия 🙏🙏❤️.

A post shared by RENAT AGZAMOV (@renat_agzamov) on

 

The icing on the cake is that, according to the World Bank, the GDP per capita for Kazakhstan is US$7,715.

 

Posted: 19th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Master embroiderer performs wing transplant on Monarch butterfly

Romy McCloskey used not little skill to transplant a new wing onto a Monarch butterfly. “I am a professional costume designer and master hand embroiderer,” says Romy. “This was right up my alley.”

Equipped with a coathanger (wire), a towel, a wire hanger,  a toothpick, cotton swabs, scissors, tweezers, quick-drying cement, talcum powder, Romy set about using a dead butterfly’s wing to give flight to a newborn.

No anaethetics were used. Apparently, Monarch butterflies do not feel pain in their wings.

 

monarch-butterfly-new wing

“The patient: this 3-day-old little boy was born with torn upper and lower wings. Let’s see how we can help!”

 

 

“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”

“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”

 

“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”

“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”

 

“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”

“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”

 

“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”

“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”

“FLIGHT DAY! After a day of rest and filling his belly with homemade nectar, it is time to see if he will fly”

monarch-butterfly-new wing

“With a quick lap around the yard and a little rest on a bush, he was off! A successful surgery and outcome! Bye, little buddy! Good luck”

Via Romy McCloskey on Facebook; Bored Panda

Posted: 11th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


Woman divorces husband after he spent $50,000 on a great record collection

record collection high fidelity

 

On eBay the story of a broken marriage and a big record collection:

My ex-husband was a big jerk! While that’s the main reason that I divorced him, the final straw was that he spent just over $50,000 buying a stupid huge record collection. Even though it was a good buy, and a sound investment (no pun intended), I felt the money (which was all we had and half mine) should have gone to pay off our mortgage, or put the kids through college, or saved for our retirement, or at least spent on something we could enjoy together, like a second honeymoon (our first was a weekend in Cleveland at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame).

While I honestly know next to nothing about records, he was thrilled and kept bragging about how these were all original pressings from the 1950’s, 60’s & 70’s, that it was the most complete gathering of collectible Rock, Rockabilly, R&B, British Invasion, Motown, Acid, Psych and Folk he’d ever seen (over 5000 albums and over 1000 45’s), and how rare it was that most had never even been played once (why would anyone buy a record and never play it?).

So that’s why I was so nonplused that he left the entire collection to me when he died (maybe he honestly felt some remorse? Nah). Anyway, I don’t want it, so I’m offering them all to you (it will probably take me months to list them all). Please feel free to make an offer on the whole darn thing, or to ask if I have a particular record, or any other questions (which I’ll do my best to answer; though again, I don’t know much at all). All prices are flexible (I’m basing them on what others are selling for), and I would be happy to entertain any offers.

Spotter: ClashMusic

Posted: 11th, January 2018 | In: Music, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


How to be a Social Justice Warrior by JP Sears

By JP Sears

Posted: 4th, January 2018 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, Technology | Comment


Starlings scare predator by forming shape of a huge bird

To evade predators starlings cluster. In the skies over Costa Brava, Spain, a murmuration of starlings took the form of a a far larger bird. Daniel Biber, who took the photo, tells the Independent:

“I was taking pictures of the murmurations over several days. Only when I checked the pictures on the computer later, I realised what formation the starlings had created.

“I was so concentrated on taking pictures at the time that I hadn’t realised that the starlings had created a giant bird in the sky.

“It took less than 10 seconds for the birds to create that formation. I realised that I had captured a unique snapshot, technically, sharp and in high quality.”

 

 

 

Mr Biber’s picture won first prize in a contest run by the Swiss Ornithological Institute in Sempach, which sims “to inspire public interest in birds and raise awareness for their protection”.

Says Daniel: “In the northeast of Spain, hundreds of thousands of Common Starlings gather at nighttime to sleep. While I was watching this spectacle, the billowing flock suddenly took the shape of a huge flying bird. What luck!”

Posted: 4th, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


Would be Tube fare-dodger caught by the penis

penis underground

 

The last time anyone of note vaulted the turnstiles on the London Underground, they were on their way to shoot an innocent man in the head. So it could have been worse when our hero leapt over the ticket barriers at Covent Garden station (more evidence of the London 2012 Olympic legacy – ed). Well, at least he tried to. The barriers shut and the young blade was caught by the penis.

The alleged dodger’s todger had upset the plan.

In addition to kind hearts stopping to record the spectacle on their mobile phones, advice was offered, not last of all the directive, “Butter him up, butter him up.”

Once freed, the man thanks a police officer (unarmed) and a passer-by who had helped.

Posted: 3rd, January 2018 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


Swede paints huge pink penis in Chinese area of New York

The four-storey painting of a penis on the side of a building in Broome Street, New York, has been painted over. Carolina Falkholt’s massive knob is a mural bookend to her huge “abstract vagina” on the city’s Pike Street.

“I usually paint giant vaginas, pussies and cunts,” says Falkholt, “and since I had just finished one on the side of a five-storey building, I felt like a dick was needed. The wall space on Broome was a perfect fit for it. To paraphrase [the artist] Judith Bernstein, if a dick can go into a woman, it can go up on a wall.”

Something to think about, readers, as you take a wazz down the side of the pub. Aim high. Aim proud.

Or maybe do it on your own house. “We don’t like it, and we hope they take it down,” says a local. For reasons unclear the Guardian says the area is a “mainly Chinese neighbourhood”. Why would a Swedish woman paint a huge pink penis in an area mostly occupied by non-pink Chinese people? If identity matters, which the papers suggests it does, why not think bigger and get your huge dick on a Protestant skyscraper?

And adolescents cannot help but notice that the penis is not attached to the man, let alone a Weinstein, Clinton or Trump. No balls. No ejaculate. No intern. Nothing an adolescent would consider all that good. It’s a painting of a giant dildo. It’s not edgy and daring. It’s a blunt tool, although useful, perhaps, to assist Kevin Spacey, Louis CK et al in ‘battling their demons’…

Posted: 28th, December 2017 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Woman will eat her mother for Christmas lunch

It’s not quite long pig on the menu at Debra Parsons’ Christmas table because she won’t be eating her mother off the bone. Debra will be scattering her late mum Doreen Brown’s ashes over the turkey served at her Folkestone, Kent, home. She’ll then dust a few more barbecued mum bites over the Christmas pud.

Debra, 41, says she often has a spoon of her mother to feel “as close as possible” to the woman who died last May. “It is the only thing that will get me through my first Christmas without mum,” Debra tells the Mirror. “People might think I’m mad or that it’s not a very respectful thing to do but I just can’t stop myself.”

Remember to chew 20 times to aid digestion. And take a few moments to reflect before flushing the post-prandial remains away.

 

turkey christmas

“Well, at least he invited me this year”

 

“I feel like she can live on by being inside of me because if she is part of me she can breathe through my body,” Debra continues. “My breath is her breath.” Put your hand in front of your face and blow. Now inhale. What you smell is PLT6975, the fast-food fried chicken you lives on in your body, seeing what you see, eating what you eat and praying when you pray. If anyone says “Here, boy!” and you feel your ears tingle and tongue loll, that’ll be the supermarket own-brand lasagne working its magic.

But is being eaten what mum and Jesus would have wanted?

“At first I kept them in a ­plastic sandwich bag,” says Debra of her mum’s ashes. Later, she moved them to a (lunch?) box.  “…I don’t know what made me do it the first time – it was just an urge. I can’t describe it. I opened the box and licked my fingers and just dipped them into the powder… I have been having a ­little taste most days – sometimes on my ­finger or on a little spoon.”

And now for the main course. Doreen is served. “We will have a place laid for her and a picture of her on the table so she can be with us on the very special day.”

That way when anyone praises your old bird and asks what the secret of your cooking is, you can point to mum.

And if Doreen turkey’s not your thing, why not try the Christmas Sam, Russell’s sprouts, Ted sauce, Nevilles on horseback, roast potatoes sprinkled with Rosemary and the to-die-for Vince pies?

Posted: 17th, December 2017 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


The one with the roof, the skateboarder and the pig (video)

The one with the roof, the skateboarder and the pig

Video of the day is the one with the roog, the skateboarder and the pig:

Posted: 28th, November 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Roy Moore accused of molesting shellfish

sex Clams headline

 

Big news from Alabama, where the Republican Party is embroiled in a “sex clams” scandal involving local politician and judge Roy Moore. Moore’s campaign for the US Sensate is infected by allegations that he molested 14-year-old Leigh Corfman (now 53) and three other teens when he was in his thirties.

“This is one of those excruciating decision moments for evangelicals,” Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. “These allegations, if true, are devastating. If true, this is a very big deal.”

If true. Moore denies any wrongdoing. Corfman stands by her story. The clams are not talking.

The Times Daily regrets the error.

 

 

Posted: 13th, November 2017 | In: News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment


Alien ranch for sale in Arizona: scene of extraterrestrial battle yours for $5m

 

As marketing plans go, telling people the home you’re selling is on every extraterrestrial’s bucket list is sure you appeal to many. Add the thrill of anal probing aboard the mothership and kidnapped spouses, and let the auctions begin. John Edmonds is selling his aline-infested 6.97-acre Stardust Ranch in Rainbow Valley, Arizona. It’s yours for $5-million.

Edmonds claims he has slain 19 aliens with samurai swords and he and his wife have endured abduction attempts.”They actually levitated her out of the bed in the master chamber and carried her into the parking lot and tried to draw her up into the craft,” he told NBC-affiliate KPNX.

Under one image of what appears to be dried blood and a katana, he described the method of destroying the “greys.”

“Unless you cut the head off and disconnect the antennae, so to speak, they instantly ‘phone home.’ Even with a razor-sharp sword, it is nearly impossible to decapitate them with one swing,” he wrote.

Fancy living on the ranch?

“It’s not something for a traditional family, but it holds a lot of secrets and what I believe are future opportunities to understand forces that are in the universe,” he said. “Please be very well grounded because the energy here has the tendency to manifest with whatever is going on with you.”

Geekologie has a screen shot of the Facebook chat between Edmonds and interested parties:

 

arizona ranch edmonds aleins

 

Spotter: Geekologie

Posted: 1st, November 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Students give ‘first hand job’ for work experience

Writer: Is it first hand or firsthand?
Editor: Either one is fine

Spotter: @NJSox

Posted: 30th, October 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


What happens when you tap on a shark screen that say ‘don’t tap on the shark screen’

 

Sharks get a tough run with humanity, whether it being fins made into soup, teeth worn as necklaces or the cultural approbation / plasticface that saw the biggest shark role in Hollywood history played by a machine. At the International Spy Museum in Washington D.C., visitors are advised against tapping on the glass. This is, of course, an invitation to tap on the glass, which one shark feast-sized human did:

The Huffington Post:

The display is part of a museum exhibit called “Earth Redesigned.” The show includes the vision of fictional character Karl Stromberg of the James Bond book and film “The Spy Who Loved Me,” and his ideas about a post-apocalyptic war world beneath the sea.

“What would Stromberg’s world be like?” the museum asks on the display’s webpage. “Find out as you experience the residents in our virtual shark tank … but be careful — you never know when one might attack!”

Wait for it…

Posted: 28th, October 2017 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Prisoner sues guards for mocking his 91-hour long boner

erection man

Dustin Lance was serving a stiffy sentence

 

For a mere 91 hours Dustin Lance, 32, held an erection. The prolonged boner – the effects of a pill seconded from a fellow lag –  caused Lance, in his words, “unbearable pain”. His bellend will never be the same again.

And his feelings are hurt, too. Lance says prison guards “repeatedly mocked him while denying him medical treatment”. What with this being America, he’s called in the country’s first emergency service: the lawyers, and is suing Pittsburg County jail in McAlester, Oklahoma.

Lance, who was serving time for burglary and possession of a controlled dangerous substance, says after being admitted to hospital, doctors “told defendants the plaintiff needed to be seen by a urologist specialist” immediately. But Lance says instead of rushing him to specialist care, deputies took him back to jail to organise a recognisance bond and”further delayed the treatment”.

Lance is seeking the entirely reasonable sum of $5 million damages. He really is going to stick it to The Man, and keep on sticking it until the sun goes down, comes up, goes down…

Posted: 26th, October 2017 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment


New 3D Zebra Crossing has drivers in Iceland on high alert

Ísafjörður, Iceland, crossingzebra

 

Mind the gap when crossing the road in Ísafjörður, Iceland, where the usual zebra-crossing has been given a third dimension by street painting company Vegi GÍH and the city’s environmental commissioner Ralf Trylla. The idea is to promote art and make drivers pay more attention when approach the crossing.

 

Ísafjörður, Iceland, crossingzebra

 

Given the sensational scenery in Iceland, the zebra might be necessary in keeping drivers’ eyes on the road.

 

Spotter: Iceland Magazine,  Swissmiss

Posted: 26th, October 2017 | In: Politicians, Strange But True, Technology | Comment


Amazon delivers 65 pounds of marijuana to couple who ordered a bin

Sometimes life just gives you a break. And so it was for one couple who instead of the four storage bins they ordered from Amazon, received 65 pounds of marijuana.

 

 

“They were extremely heavy, heavier than you would think from ordering four empty bins,” the woman tells ABC.

She called the police, who impounded the contraband, and around a month later Amazon sent them a $150 gift card.

There really is no helping some people.

Spotter: WFTV

Posted: 25th, October 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


The meaning of sailors’ tattoos

sailor tattoos decoded

 

Artist Lucy Bellwood explains the meaning of sea-farers’ tattoos with The Art of the Sailor. It first appeared in the Vancouver Maritime Museum’s traveling exhibit, “Tattoos and Scrimshaw: the Art of the Sailor.”

 

 

Spotter: Rusty Blazenhoff,

Posted: 23rd, October 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Jim Davis: Garfield’s owner Jon did not drink dog semen

In 1990, did Garfield’s owner John scarf a cup of dog semen?

In the May 1990 strip, Jon is with Garfield’s veterinarian, Liz. Jon drinks a cup of something. Liz tells him: “Congratulations, Mr. Arbuckle. You are going to give birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies.”

Semen? No. You can’t get pregnant form ‘oral sex’. Says Jim Davis:

“On the farm, we used to give first-calf heifers a high protein supplement to help them deliver healthier calves. The supplement was provided by our vet… I assumed that there would be a similar supplement for dogs. So Jon is drinking a protein-enriched drink formulated for a pregnant dog. There you have it!”

Spotter: AV Club

Posted: 20th, October 2017 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comment