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Anorak | Anorak - Part 1869

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A Week In The Death Of Bob Woolmer

“BOB Woolmer: “New twists.”

On Monday cricket’s most enduring whodunit since Shane Warne appeared in public with a fuller, shaggier and more highlighted head of hair was occupying the papers’ minds.

West … (read more)

Posted: 31st, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)


Fags For The Memories – Britney Spears Smokes Kevin Federline

STOP all the clocks, slide your baseball cap to the back of your head, shave off your hair and like a rampant Basil Fawlty beat a car to within an … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (5)


George Bush, Dick Cheney And Republicans Do NOT Stand For Humiliation

IN his speech at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner the other night George Bush proved he had a sense of humour.

“A year ago my approval rating was in … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Caption This

Trouble in the Middle East. Caption it… … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Caption Competition | Comments (45)


David Beckham Returns As Steve McClaren

DAVID Beckham has a new hair cut and there are calls for him to be included in Steve McClaren’s England team.

“Short beck and sides,” says the Mirror’s front page. Beckham’s … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)


Chris Sligh Bible Bashed And Sanjaya Malakar Is American Idol

AMERICAN Idol continues to work towards its inevitable conclusion – whispering Sanjaya Malakar’s annointment as the new false deity of reality TV singing contests.

And that reality gets one step nearer … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (3)


Scooch Open A Pandora’s Box of Eurovision Evil

LET’S give it up for SCOOCH, the UK’s entry in the Eurovision song contest.

For those of unfamiliar with the band’s offering, voices suggest listening to a song written by Elin … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Hamid, Hamed, Hamad – Bob Woolmer And Third Man Malik: Update And Correction

UPDATE: The Anorak has just received a solicitor’s letter from a Mr Hamid Malik Zia’s representatives.

Anorak readers may not realise that this is the man referred to in the piece … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)


JT Go Dome – John Travolta’s On Another Planet

JOHN Travolta wants his fans to “do their bit” to tackle global warming.

Sensible stuff. Human influence on global weather patterns has been established as fact by some sections of the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)


Call Me Dani – Big Brother Danielle Lloyd’s New Book

BIG Brother bully Danielle Lloyd is back on the Star’s front page.

With the weather warming up, Danielle wears only a pair of white bikini briefs. To avoid accusations of looking … (read more)

Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


200 Reasons Oprah Winfrey Beats Madonna & Jolie

YOU join us at The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa.

A count is underway. We wait. The Enquirer lifts its head, blinks hard and tells us that … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (6)


Mum’s Shopped At Asda – Wal-Mart Hires Spies To Watch You

ASDA employees may want to keep one eye over their shoulder if the experience of their American cousins at Wal-Mart is anything to go by.

Julie Roehm, Wal-Mart’s senior vice president … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Double Take – Jennifer Aniston Is ‘SCARED’ Of A Brad Pitt Clone

JENNIFER Aniston is “SCARED”.

Can you guess why? The National Enquirer puts “SCARED” Jennifer on its front page. This is big news.

Is Jennifer scared because:

A) She scares easily. Ever since Brad … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Donald Trump Fights To Keep His Hair

DONALD Trump, he of the eponymous tower and Tidal Wave hair-do is making news in the Enquirer.

Over three pictures, readers get to see Trump enter the wrestling ring and mix … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Gordon Brown’s In The Black, Tory Party Parties & Bob Kylie Tells All

Strapped For Cash

The fall-out from the recent Budget continues with government figures now showing that the disposable income of households grew last year at the slowest rate since 1982, … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Money | Comment (1)


Peeping Tom, Dick & Flash Harry

MAKE the punishment fit the crime. An eye for an eye. A dayglow yellow jacket for a peeping Tom.

As the Sun reports (“GLOW IN THE PARK!”), 24-year-old Stephen Copper has … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Naughty But Nice – Iran Introduces Mrs Faye Turney

“HOSTAGE on parade in Iran’s propaganda war.”

So says the Times’ front page. And readers are met with the vision of Leading Seaman Faye Turney, 26, speaking on Iranian TV.

She says … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comments (9)


Not Much Cop

Who would want to be a New York City cop?

In the past few weeks two cops have been shot dead, another was stabbed in the brain and yesterday a fourth … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Making News At The New Wembley

HOW long before a journalist from one paper infiltrates the office’s of a rival organ and walks about unchallenged for four hours?

See roving reporter Phil Space move about the place … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Shining Like A Gemma Atkinson

GEMMA Atkinson, lover to footballer Cristiano Ronaldo, is sitting by a pool.

As the Star’s front page reveals (“Soap sizzler Gemma goes for bust”), the sun’s rays are turning her flesh … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


P Diddy Man Drinks To Controversy

P DIDDY is a businessman who knows he has to speculate to accumulate.

The Mirror looks on as Ken Dodd’s foremost Diddy Man dances in London’s Paper club. For this night … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Laden With Rumour – Bob Woolmer And Al-Qaeda

“AL-QAEDA LINK TO WOOLMER MURDER.”

Bob Woolmer was killed by al-Qaeda? This is no small matter.

Afghanistan’s links to Pakistan are the stuff of war despatches, but did we ever believe Osama … (read more)

Posted: 29th, March 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)


American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar Causes More Outrage Than Heather Mills

FORGET Heather Mills doing backflips on Dancing with The Stars with a bionic leg. There’s real outrage this afternoon over Sanjaya Malakar’s performance on American Idol last night (see his … (read more)

Posted: 28th, March 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (5)


Kyran Bracken – The Dancing On Ice Man Cometh

FOR those of you who said a rugby player would never win a televised pro-celebrity dance contest we present Kyran Bracken.

Former England player Kyran, pictured in Hello! with his wife … (read more)

Posted: 28th, March 2007 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


George Bush Surges & Withdraws

US troops could be forgiven for not knowing whether they are coming or going.

First, the President “surges” them in, then Congress votes to pull them out. If the executive and … (read more)

Posted: 28th, March 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)