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Passing For A Scholar

‘WHEREAS the tabloids fill the summer months with stories of rescued dogs, towering leylandii and Tony Blair’s tan, the broadsheets run on exam results. ‘I couldn’t have got … (read more)

Posted: 25th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Stringing Us Along

‘HAVING located Tony Blair, the Mail cannot now take its eyes from him. Is your G-string too tight or do you always grin like that? And … (read more)

Posted: 25th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Stone Broke

‘SUMMER time and the papers have it easy. In the Mail, two puppies have fallen down a cliff and neighbours have gone to “war” over a clematis. Ken … (read more)

Posted: 25th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Gordon’s Tonic

‘GIVEN that the Chancellor reaps so much revenue from the sale of booze, the new licensing laws should bring round-the-clock benefits for all areas of our society. Tony … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Ant’s Army

‘WHEN Andy Warhol made his comment that we’d all be famous for fifteen minutes, he was prescient but failed to foresee the impact of OK!. ‘How much … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Keeping Up With The Joneses

‘WITH readers’ minds whirring as to the whys, wherefores and whatnots of troubled Sienna Miller’s wounds, the Sun leads with the biggest mystery in modern Times: how does Sven Goran … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Love On The Rocks

‘WITH Blair found and the mute Piano Man out of hospital, talking and back home in Germany, the papers have two new mysteries for their readers to work on. … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Heaton Is On

‘LAST week Michelle Heaton tried on Kerry Katona’s shoes, breasts and sticky-out-tongue for size and was found wanting. ‘We want the tongue! We want the tongue! We want … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Big Futures

‘LAST week Michelle Heaton tried on Kerry Katona’s shoes, breasts and sticky-out-tongue for size and was found wanting. Keep up to date with Mish and Stu with their … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Gently Rock

‘THE Rolling Stones are medical marvels. Seemingly pickled from within, they continue to shock just by functioning. ‘I can’t give no…sa-tis-fac-tion…’ At a combined age … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Island

‘WE seek him here, we seek him there. His clothes are loud, but never square. He’s over there. It’s Tony Blair! ‘A free rum punch if you … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Buerk’s Rage

‘MEN don’t watch the telly any more. Not real men. Not men like Michael Buerk. Programmes are geared for women and feminised men who moisturise their smooth skin. … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Celebrities | Comment

A Virtuoso Performance

‘WHY did the so-called Piano Man, who was picked up by police on the Isle of Sheppey on April 7, dressed in a soaking wet suit with all the labels … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Phony War

‘IF sex is the breakfast of champions, as motor racing legend James Hunt was wont to put it, has Sven Goran Eriksson been buttering both sides of his morning toast? … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Find Your Levels

‘WHILE Tony Blair has been away, two of his former and latterly estranged champions have died (Robin Cook and Mo Mowlam), his much-vaunted education system has been heavily criticised and … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Drinking To Success

‘JUST imagine how clever we’d all be if we’d stop binge drinking?On Monday, the Mail had read a report by the Parliamentary Office of Science and Technology which said that … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2005 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Ravy Davy

‘“MMMMM mmmm aaahhh beeee aaaaaammmmm oooooooaaaaa. Aaaaaameeeeen.” ‘Chelsy was in the counting house, counting out her money..’ An extract there from a hymn as mumbled by … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Going Down

‘AS anyone who’s picked up a tabloid recently will know, Den’s set to rise from his concrete grave soon, and although he’s been under the ground now for months, he’s … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Failure

‘CONGRATULATIONS to the Times on finding one of the three per cent of A-level students not to pass their exams. More blonde girls pass than ever before … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Joey Goes Public

‘MATT LeBlanc was wise enough to realise that with the Friends TV show still fresh in people’s minds, he should cash in while his name was linked to success. … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Bit Parts

‘PLASTIC surgery is a way of life in Hollywood. Stars who want to look like stars can zip on some hair, pump up some lips and tie their faces taught … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Taken For a Ride

‘DANNY Baldwin’s always sailed close to the wind – shacking up with his son’s babysitter and going bankrupt through dodgy dealings – but even by his standards his affair with … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Strange But True | Comment

A Greek Tragedy

‘THE shooting dead of Jean Charles de Mendez by the British police is turning into a Greek tragedy. Sensible shoes (model’s own) Today the Mail tells … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Feeling Shady

‘THEY don’t make pop stars like they used to. Sleeping pills and no more thrills While the Mail writes that The Rolling Stones are preparing to … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pointer Of No Return

‘IT might be the Silly Season, that time of year when editors take a break from mad mullahs and cautionary tales on how foreigners can give you cancer to take … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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