Anorak

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Booze Britannia

‘ANORAK has reserved the least sticky table at the Chav and Mobile public house, and when the licensing laws change in November, we will be bringing the news to the … (read more)

Posted: 10th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

John (No) Bull

‘THOUGH it is petty and foolhardy to contest the Sun’s claim that it forced Omar Bakri to flee the country (see Tabs), the Times has a story that suggests its … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Bless These Houses

‘WITH Big Brother approaching its screaming climax, TV types are looking around to replicate that housebound formula. Patron saint of husbands Filming people in a house … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Bit On The Side

‘OMAR Bakri’s not the only one fleeing these gilded shores in search of a new life. Laura’s dream The Sun has news of blonde Elaine Walker, … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Heart Failure

‘“AH, Mr Johnson. Ye-es. (Look at chart.) Oh dear, you have been in the wars. How are you feeling?” ‘Can you hear my heart?’ ‘No!’ … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Islam’s Ugly Side

‘“I DECLARE we should ourselves join the global Islamic camp against the global crusade camps,” says Omar Barki Mohammed. “The banner has been risen [for the 7/7 bombers] for jihad … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Bakri Packs

‘DO you know why we are winning the war on terror? God’s on our side? We’ve bigger jets. Our uniforms don’t chaffe the skin? Those and more are all valid … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Breast Of British

‘THE week began with some joyous news. “Seven months ago I was a nobody,” said Keeley, 18. “My life has been transformed by the Sun. People now recognise me in … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Bubbly & Speak

‘AS euphemisms go, being called “bubbly” by OK! is like your lover turning to you, taking your chubby fingers in his hands and saying, “I love you because you’re so … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Smiley Couture

‘“DESPITE the latest photographs showing David allegedly playing footsie with a blonde female friend while Victoria and him were enjoying a meal in Seville, the couple are happier than ever,” … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Eviction Night

‘EVER since Michelle Bass and Stuart Wilson first clapped eyes on each other, their relationship has prompted many questions. ‘I wish I was in Macclesfield’ Did … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

A Shower Of Bullets

‘“BRITNEY PARTY SHOOTING TERROR,” howls the Star’s front page. “Bloodshed at baby bash.” For more XXX shower pics go to www.scrubmyback.com Little need to tell you … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Renaming Is Shaming

‘MUCH has been made of how one man’s suicide bomber is another man’s martyr. Of how what looks like a terrorist to many, appears as a freedom fighter to some, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Phil Her Up

‘IN more genteel times, the worst thing you could expect to see in a car park was a badly executed three-point-turn. Ruff stuff Nowadays, you’d … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Send Him Bakri

‘THE Telegraph puts on its mortar board, flexes its cane and educates us via its front page that the last person to be hanged for treason in the UK was … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Breast Of British

‘WHEN Orlaith teetered away from the Big Brother house she knew that each step would take her ever closer to fulfilling her dream of appearing topless on the Sun’s Page … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Shore Things

‘WHAT will you be reading on the beach next year? A Harry Potter fan A copy of the Star and tearing yourself away from looking at … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Water Proof

‘FORGET Israel with its rivers of milk and honey and head to Italy where the waterways are busting at the banks with primo cocaine. Also available in ice … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

The Finger

‘WHAT is it with al-Qaeda leaders and that raised index finger? ‘And next time you knock on my door and run way I’ll call the police’ … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Toll Booth

‘THERE are few things that Cherie Blair won’t do to boost the family coffers, but thankfully so far that doesn’t include topless modelling. Cherie denies she’s cashed in … (read more)

Posted: 4th, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Law’s An Ass

‘IF Jude Law was concerned about being “the most hated man in Britain” when news of his affair with nanny Daisy Wright emerged two weeks ago, he should be really … (read more)

Posted: 4th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Breast Is Best

‘THE votes are in, the ballot papers have been counted and the result is…women should get their boobs out on the beach this summer. Charlotte Church tries to … (read more)

Posted: 4th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Model Behaviour

‘IN the Sun’s front-page diatribe against “LAWLESS BRITAIN”, it omitted the single biggest contributor to the nation’s rap sheet – Naomi Campbell. Naomi leads the ‘no’ campaign … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Tan Ban

‘GIVEN the seriousness of the issue, it is no surprise to learn the great topless debate (see Tabloids) has attracted the attention of the EU top brass. ‘And … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Up, Up And Away

‘NEWSPAPERS are never happier than when breaking bad news – the worse the disaster, the bigger the smile on a news editor’s face. Anorak’s daily figures … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

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