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Sharking Fish

‘AS is the way with such things, Sienna Miller is said to be “incandescent with rage” as her row with cheating Jude Law thunders on. ‘My midnight, my … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Cane Not Able

‘AN era has come to an end with the announcement by Marshall’s Amusements that it is to cease production of the legendary Six o’ The Best caning machine, known to … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Fat Lip

‘“SHANE Warne ate my other banner,” says the placard at St John’s Wood station.True to not, Warne still has much to worry about. Not only is his flipper not working … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2005 | In: Back pages | Comment

Word Perfect

‘PLEASE excuse the lateness of this article, but there has been a computer “deferred success”. Those who can do, those who can’t go for deferred success … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fear & Loathing

‘WE aren’t told how Tony Blair worked out which representatives of the Muslim community he would meet with at No.10 to discuss ways of moving on, of defeating what Tony … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

William The Threesome

‘PRINCE William is his father’s son. And today we read that like dad there are two women in the young man’s life. In thirty years let’s be laughing … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

The Road Is Long

‘PITY the poor teenager in his hot hatch with go-faster stripes and a massive exhaust that gapes with all the subtlety of a prostitute in an Amsterdam window at other … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

A Double-Edged Sword

‘AMID the condemnation of suicide bombers and Islamic extremism, many might have forgotten the pre-7/7 words of some of our leaders. Ken wanted to hear more about the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Abiding Law

‘UNTIL this week the only bad things about Jude Law was his American accent. Miller’s tale is between his legs Universally looked upon as being … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bully For Me

‘WE have never seen a photo of the Hello! hack who induces the great and good to tell the world how great and good they are. Hello! Hello! … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Death Wish

‘WHAT is Michael Winner’s death wish? Not everyone’s cup of tea Don’t panic, Michael’s not going anywhere just yet. He’s not even going out to a … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Kentucky Fried Pigeon

‘“COO! What a scorcher,” says the pigeon sitting atop Nelson’s Column. The pigeon doughnut Indeed, it is hot. And from its vantage point high above … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Lay Jude

‘AFTER more than a week, finally there’s a split in the consensus as the papers begin to go their separate ways. Sienna-ed off The Mail says … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Message In A Bottle

‘NOT only is a box of wine the last word in dinner party chic, but it may just save the planet. Smells like revenge The Telegraph … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Ted Rocked

‘THE front-page news that Sir Edward Heath is dead must come as a shock to those of us who thought he went to that big green bench in the sky … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Who & Why

‘WE can no more understand what it is to be a terrorist than we can know what it is to be a cockroach. Unless, of course, we are all terrorists, … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2005 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

We Are Praying

‘AFTER everyone else has had their say and the dust has settled, the celebrities will tell us how 7/7 affected their lives, forcing them think afresh about their new single … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

London Waiting

‘YESTERDAY there was a two-minute break in the posturing, commenting and vain attempts at understanding last week’s terrorist outrage on central London. Dignity It was a … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fighting Talk

‘“LONDON fights back,” announces the headline in the Telegraph. How many sunbeds? There’s even a picture of Winston Churchill giving his trademark ‘V’ for victory … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Dance Of Death

‘IN a storyline bizarre even by Walford standards, Danny Moon has lost his mind to salsa. No, he hasn’t joined the cast of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ (yet) – more surreally, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Warren Muffs It

‘SHELLY’S descent into madness continues as she now decides that the answer to all her problems is plastic surgery. Unfortunately she’s not planning on having 13 stone of useless fat … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Strange But True | Comment

The Rhythm Method

‘AFRICA’S great isn’t it. Privately Cherie thought Tony might have taken things too far Thanks to Africa, lots of music fans got to see a terrific … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fashionably Late

‘EVER wondered what happened to Lauryn Hill, the singer who underwent a miseducation? Ready or not? The Mail has. And last night it caught up … (read more)

Posted: 14th, July 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Oh Brother!

‘“FANS were shocked when it was reported that Big Brother stars Michele Bass and Stuart Wilson had split after a massive row,” write OK!. Remember them? … (read more)

Posted: 14th, July 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

Tango & Cash

‘“IT’S the ultimate showbiz cliché,” writes OK!, “beautiful pop star marries handsome footballer.” When two become one But who wants to be a cliché when you … (read more)

Posted: 14th, July 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment

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