Anorak

- Author Archive

Hanging Maggie

”’ROLL Up! Roll up! Roll up! What am I bid for this delightful portrait? ”Keep out of the red and into the blue…” ”Come on laydees’n’gentalmen! … (read more)

Posted: 24th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Bench Press

‘THE picture of Craig Bellamy, the unlovely Newcastle United striker, on the Independent’s back page is surprising in that it does not shows the Welshman offering a broad self-satisfied smirk … (read more)

Posted: 24th, January 2005 | In: Back pages | Comment


The Princess & Mr P

”’DON’T look back, look forward.” That’s what former florist and one-time Royal butler Paul Burrell tells himself every morning as he wakes up in his new Florida home. … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


Spencer For Hire

‘ALSO looking forward this week is Princess Diana’s former sister-in-law Victoria, Countess Spencer. ”Mine’s a double V&J” So much so that she is planning on dropping … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


Calling His Bluff

‘HAS anyone seen former Blockbusters host Bob Holness recently? ”Let’s play Blockbusters” We ask only because as we follow Hello! into the Los Angeles house of … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


Opera Buff

‘RUMOURS abound that Paul Ross was so desperate to make it onto TV’s Celebrity Fit Club that he gorged himself on all manner of pies and cakes to get the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Birthday Rites

‘WHILE we were trying to fathom what the Countess of Wessex has done in her life to date, the woman herself was turning 40. ”See you in 2015” … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Brit Of A To Do

‘THE soulless warehouse has been booked, a faded star has been exhumed from the record store’s bargain bucket of death to be awarded a lifetime achievement award and a walking … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Honey Trap

‘“TELL ‘em about the honey, mummy. Mummy? Oi, get your hands off me. I want my mummy to tell ‘em about the honey. Get off me. HELP!!!” A … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


The Hinckley Points

‘IT takes a special kind of political event – and a special kind of politician – to overshadow the inauguration of the President of the United States. Kilroy’s … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Here Comes Liberty

‘OVER on the other side of the Atlantic a political event of scarcely less significance was taking place as President Bush was sworn in for a second term of office. … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Sing When We’re Winning

‘RAIN in Pretoria may have dampened the spirits of the Barmy Army hoping to witness England’s first series win in South Africa for 40 years. The lads pass … (read more)

Posted: 21st, January 2005 | In: Back pages | Comment


The Splits

‘YOU don’t need a reason to get a divorce in Hollywood – you just a need a good lawyer and a PR agent. Noel and Helen in happier … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


And Den There Were None

‘THE front page of the Mirror is enough to make you spill your guts into the nearest bin. ”Don’t worry, luv. It’s better out then in” … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Belly Dancing

‘SOMETHING even more likely to create a feeling of nausea than TV’s Den Watts in bed with a teenager is a trip to Turkey. Jackie puts her face … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Citizen Watch

‘MOST 18-year-olds celebrate their coming of age in time-honoured fashion with their first legal pint at the pub where they have been drinking illegally for the past four years. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Bushwhacked

‘MANY Americans might like to believe the world stretches from New England to New Mexico, from Washington DC to Washington state – with a “There Be Monsters” sign over the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Only In America

‘“ONLY in America!” It is one of those phrases that conjures up very different images depending on which side of the Atlantic you live. Striking another telling blow … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Away Day

‘WHEN OK! says how 2004 was “the best of times and the worst of times”, we understand fully. ”I’m off to see a woman about a dog” … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


On The Market

‘FOR some years, we at Anorak have followed the wonderful career of TV star Joanna Taylor. ”And this is the shower” We were there when she … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


A (Natasha) Joy To Behold

‘THE main toilet wall here at Anorak Towers contains many pictorial memories of the epic times we’ve had along the way. ”Hide the rod and spoil the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


The Grecians Earn

‘EXETER City’s interest in this season’s FA Cup may have come to an end last night with a 2-0 defeat at the hands of Manchester United, but the memories will … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Back pages | Comment


Daddy’s Girl

‘WALFORD women aren’t known for their brains (even Ian Beale’s managed to find four of them who’ll sleep with him) but Zoe Slater takes stupidity to a whole new level. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Tarnished Images

‘DOESN’T that British soldier pretending to punch a trussed-up Iraqi detainee bear more than a passing resemblance to former Mirror editor Piers Morgan? Lance Corporal Mark Cooley at … (read more)

Posted: 19th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Curfew – What A Scorcher!

‘IF the Army wants to crack down on the bad apples within its ranks, it should do as the Government is doing and introduce a curfew. ”Now sit … (read more)

Posted: 19th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment