Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
A “source” close enough to know the contents of Kerry’s mind tells us:
“Kerry doesn’t know that George has been arrested. When she finds out she will be heartbroken. It is the last thing she needs after the year they have had.”
Who needs social media and faddish telephones when you have the Sun to broadcast news on your personal life. Kerry’s not yet seen the Town Crier hold up an analogue sketch of her bum and yell “OMG!” but we’re seeing the start of a retro news trend. It can’t be long.
TV presenter and singer Kerry McFadden presenting ITV's new series 'Britain's Sexiest'. 07/12/04: The former Atomic Kitten, who has reverted to her maiden name, is rebuilding her life after the break-up of their marriage. Kerry Katona has spoken about her split from husband Brian McFadden and declared: "I want a new man for Christmas.
Danniella Westbrook’s Celebrity Big Brother comeback is off. The Sun says a CBB “shrink” (actually the show’s psychologist) talked with the 41-year-old former EastEnders actress and reformed cocaine addict who became known to millions as the “girl with no nose” and decided it would be best to cancel.
But the real shocker is that CBB was prepared to pay the former star £200,000 to be on the telly. We don’t know what the actress was paid to appear on I’m Famous – and Frightened with former TV chef Rustie Lee. ‘Handy’ Andy Kane from Changing Rooms, Jade Goody’s boyfriend and Madge from Neighbours but we’d guess it was shy of £200,000. And surely it was alway a risk to hire Westbrook who quit I’m a Celebrity when she found a rat in her hammock.
Westbrook’s hopes to rival Katie Price in the hardback bestseller lists are dashed.
A nameless “source” arrives to tell us what legend Danniella is:
“The producers were desperate to get Danniella on the show because, let’s face it, she’d make great TV. She was invited to meet them and alarm bells started ringing straight away. She was incredibly incoherent.”
That’s what happens when you work too long on EastEnders. You end up talking in a BBC Cockney patois. Trains of thought are interrupted by massive pauses. You reply to questions by barking ‘Sort it aht!’. You are routinely out-thought and out-acted by a dog.
It’s hard not to feel some sympathy for Danniella. TV careers have been built on less.
Ice Cube hails his new film STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON by responding to reacting to the Rap Genius interpretations.
“There’s a buzz in his inner circle that he might propose.”
Might a buzz in that inner ciurcle be evidence that the rumours are correct?
How does Jo Malone “get ready” to go out? She tells the Guardian that her regime take 25 minutes.
I multitask. I’ll make a face mask, jump into the bath with my favourite Pomelo bath cologne and, yes, I always light a candle. I like a glass of wine, too – there is a pink called Whispering Angel that comes in tiny bottles, so I can have just a glass. I’ll put some oil – either jojoba or vitamin E – on my hands and feet: nothing looks worse than dry feet if you’re wearing sandals.
Who ran the bath? How big is the bath? Is it a bird bath? Can she make a face mask faster than Zorro?
I’ll get out of the bath and my skin will be moisturised because of the mask, which I clear off with a warm face towel. I pop Vaseline round my eyebrows, then quickly dye them so they look dark – leave it on too long and you look as though you’ve two caterpillars above your eyes.
I lay out what I am going to wear. I love a chic, well-fitting black tie trouser suit with drop diamonds, my vintage gold Prada shoes and a simple black evening bag.
At this point I have a cup of tea and a baked potato or toasted ham and cheese.
Baked. Or raw?
Then I’ll pop in my gum shields with toothpaste bleach mixed with Colgate and leave for 10 minutes…. Because my hair often drops, I’ll zhush it up with my rotating brush.
I don’t wear a lot of makeup but I do wear MAC base and put on false eyelashes, blusher and lip gloss. I paint Pomelo fragrance on to my body with a brush and let it dry…
Watch painted body dry.
…then do a second layer.
Then I’ll get dressed and spray whatever I am wearing with the same fragrance, and I am ready to go.
Next week, Jo makes a six-course meal for 10 in 15 minutes.
Why did Cilla Black die? The 72-year-old stalwart of British entertianment was found dead at her Spanish holiday home.
The Metro says Cillas “died of natural causes”.
Was she in good health? Last December she gave an interview:
“I am falling apart. My hand is falling apart. I can’t shake hands. I had arthritis and I had an operation for it. I had it done because I was in pain. I am not in pain at the moment. But it looks a bit deformed on the wrist. That has been fixed but it is going to take some time to heal. I fell in the park earlier this year as well and hurt my hand…
“You see on Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor they all wear ear plugs. But I could not hear myself when I wore them. So that is where the strong voice came from. Now I am totally deaf because of the Cavern days.”
The Telegraph adds drama:
Cilla Black’s son found star’s body after smashing his way into her bedroom
Cilla Black’s doting son Bobby discovered the star’s body after smashing his way into her bedroom when she failed to rise from an afternoon siesta.
We hear from a “source close to the inquiry”:
“Cilla’s son found her lying face upwards in a solarium-style sun terrace next to her bedroom. There’s no conclusive autopsy results yet but the main theory right now is that she had a dizzy turn after going from an air-conditioned room into the midday heat and losing her balance.
“The marks she’s got are consistent with a fall where she’s put up an arm as a defence mechanism.
“What’s need to be determined now is why she fell and whether it was indeed to do with the sudden change in temperature and the effect that had on her – which seems the most likely scenario at the moment – or whether something else triggered the collapse.
“Midday temperatures on Saturday in the area were in the high eighties and we know Cilla wasn’t in the best of health.
“More tests may be necessary after the autopsy to get to the bottom of whats really happened. There’s no evidence to link Cilla’s death to any criminal act but police and courts generally like to keep an open mind on things.“
That speculation from a trusty source who cannot be named becomes fact in the Standard:
Cilla Black died after fall from dizzy turn in searing Costa del Sol heat
Investigation source: “main theory right now is that she had a dizzy turn after going from an air-conditioned room into the midday heat and losing her balance.”
…sources close to the investigation said this yesterday morning medical examiners will look closely at marks on her right arm and elbow which they believe may be linked to a fall potentially caused by a sudden temperature change.
We are then told:
Cilla, born Priscilla Maria Veronica White in 1943 in Liverpool, told last year how she would like to die at 75 before she became too frail to enjoy life.
She said: “Seventy-five is a good age to go. I know it’s only four years away but I take each day as I find it.”
No exactly a suicide case, then. Indeed, Cilla said in 2014:
“I agree with Dignitas, but I couldn’t be the one to administer the poison that kills me. I know I couldn’t commit suicide. I’m too much of a coward, I couldn’t do it. I’d rather somebody make that decision for me.”
But the Daily Star still finds it fire to thunder: “CILLA’S SECRET DEATH WISH”:
All true – apart from the bits about a secret and a death wish.
Katie Hopkins is having an operation on her brain. The Sun’s vile-to-deadline columnist gives the newspaper an “exclusive” in much the same way a baby gives their parent an exclusive look at their filled nappy. But let’s not knock Katie because this is serious.
I’m having a brain op… I could die
EXCLUSIVE: Katie Hopkins reveals she’s ‘full of fear’ over epilepsy surgery
STUART Baggs is the latest member of the 27 Club — a group of high-profile names who lost their lives aged just 27…
What band was Stuart Baggs in, then? He was in the Alan Sugar And The Apprentices, where he once played a tour guide in an effort to win a work placement at blustering Lord Sugar’s offices in Essex and a lacunae in common sense and self-awareness. Key quote: “I’m not a one-trick pony. I’m not a ten-trick pony. I’m a whole field of ponies and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
Police said that the cause of Stuart Baggs’s death was “unknown” but that there was “nothing to indicate that his death is criminally suspicious”.
News is leading with the report that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown has died. She was 22. Back on January 31st 2015, Bobbi Kristina was found unresponsive at her home in a bath. Placed in medially induced coma, Bobbi Kristina was after two months transferred to a rehabilitation centre. One month ago she was moved into a hospice. D-listed notes:
The D.A. has reportedly been investigating Bobbi Kristina’s adopted brother/fake husband Nick Gordon, because they believe he may have had something to do with why she lost consciousness. Bobbi Kristina’s conservator has also thrown a lawsuit at Nick for allegedly stealing her money, abusing her and pretending to be her husband.
Her family have released a statement:
“She is finally at peace in the arms of God. We want to again thank everyone for their tremendous amount of love and support during these last few months.”
Her mother’s Facebook page made a anouncement:
Keeping Up With The Danczuks: in today’s instalment of the twitter-based reality TV show, MP Simon Danczuk says:
“I must have been hell to live with. I’d say horrible things to Karen”
Simon and Karen Danczuk are doing their bit to change perceptions of their native Rochdale. Once a place where secrets of sex and power were locked away to fester, Rochale is now where dirty laundry is hung still moist and run up the flagpole.
Carol Midgley meets Simon in Manchester. Will the Danczuks be reconciling?
“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” he says, sadly. “No, we’ve been through too much; too much water’s gone under the bridge. It’s not going to happen — but that’s life.”
Shopping list of the week was penned by Britney Spears. Someone dived into her bins and resurfaced with shopping lists.
Spears, we learn, likes Oreos, pasta, Sprite, gritz, Dr Pepper, flowers, Red Bull, pizzas, cheese, ham, “Boobs” and a “Nose (talk to nose guy)”.
Aside from being an adult human who shops like Yogi Bear, Spears’ shopping for body parts is a curiosity. Does she collects tits and nostrils, aiming to create the ultimate Hollywood museum of add-ons, exhibits to include Jennifer Aniston’s nose tip, Cher’s laughter lines and an introductory talk from the ‘living exhibit’ who bought Michael Jackson’s fire damaged hair.
Or are the words codes for a kind of Hollywood sustenance?
Dive, dive, dive!
Kim Kardashian’s pose for System magazine (see above) reveals how the porno-to-selfie star would would appear if she were buried in an earthquake and excavated hundreds of years from now, her skin and hair preserved by the unguents and lacquers of her age.
Future forensic scientists should note that the specimen can be reinvigorated with a sudden burst of flash photography and the cry: ‘Kim. Over ‘ere luv!”
The tableau you see was created by Mr Kim, aka Kanye West, who wanted to realise what her in doors would look like living in a cutaway ants’ nest whilst reassuring Travis Perkins and any number of quarries that Kim is available to endorse their products.
Anorak would pay good money not to see TV ‘funnyman’ Michael McIntyre, the Johnny Boden of comedy. We take comfort from knowing that among McIntyre’s biggest fans are members of a police helicopter surveillance team who spotted him on a London street, took a photo and tweeted it.
Officers from the London branch of the Met’s National Police Air Service posted the photo on their @NPASLondon twitter account. The tweet invited readers to play detective:
“Whilst on tasking in central London this morning we spotted a certain energetic funny man … Can you guess who?”
Says the Met spokesman:
“This tweet does not as far as we know constitute a breach of data protection legislation. The tweet was deleted because of a negative response on Twitter.”
Superintendent Richard Watson, of the National Police Air Service adds:
“We are aware of the tweet and as far as we are aware it does not breach any data protection legislation.
“We feel however it was inappropriate and it has since been removed. We will be speaking to the person who posted the tweet.”
If Watson can ask the uniformed pigeons to keep an eye on BBC breakfast news presenter Bill Turnbull, ITV’s Fiona Phillips and footy pundit Robbie Savage, and let us know when they are not working and it is safe to watch the telly, we’d appreciate it…
The Sun is delighted, noting:
Sophia endured years of cruel taunts — “fatty”, “man-beast”, “whale” and even “big jugs” from a young age…
Good of the Sun to stuck up for people with less idealised builds. Sophia weighs 13st 7lb. We don’t know her height, but
But, then again, this is paper that thundered “Fatties cause global warming” and “CHILDREN are getting even fatter”; branded anti-Page 3 MP Clare Short “Short and fat“; mocked Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney for not having a six pack; calls football fans “fatso”; and taught readers how to get a “bikini body in 10 days”, allowing “Sun fitness expert” Nicki Waterman to teach readers to be “taller and slimmer”, with a “smaller bottom”.
How many of those cruel kids who mocked Sophia Adam’s “curves” read the Sun?
TV works in seasons. Summer means Celebrity Big Brother. And that means a visit to Blighty for Farah Arbaham, famous for a sex tape and all the things that go with it: rehab, regret, ‘Made in Hollywood’ jugs and a rubber mould modelled on her primary sexual characteristics avilable to anyone in need of a novelty washing up glove or moneybox as Full-On Farrah Vibrating Pussy and Ass.
But things didn’t quite go to plan for Farrah. The chance to stick your penis or head inside a fake rubby anus shaped like hers (with ‘love tunnels’ heated to a ‘lifelike’ temperatute buy two ‘warming wands’) was not her ticket to fortune.
In January told InTouch where she says the release of her sex tape was a huge mistake and if she could take it back, she would.
“It made it hard to have friends and a private life and to trust family, who I feel use me for money. If I went back in time, I would not have done it. The sex tape ruined my life.”
Despite warnings from family who feared selling the X-rated tape would send a terrible message to her 4-year-old daughter, Sophia, Farrah did it anyway — and says she quickly realized it was a bad idea. “Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see … was overwhelming,” she says. “I wanted to hide my face and not go out or pick up my phone.”
One other reason it was bad idea was that those porn tapes don’t pay as well as the marketing states. The headline story was that sex movies are so rare that Farrah’s backdoor romp earned her $1.5 million. FOX411 said Abraham actually earned around $10,000.
Farrah is now much changed:
“Therapy helped me understand I can’t continue experiencing life [the way I had been], that I’m more special than sex tapes. Hearing others tell me my worth is [all based on] my body. … I’m stronger than that.”
Or as the Sun puts it:
The former star of MTV shows Teen Mom and Sixteen and Pregnant has cashed in once again thanks to CBB bosses, who hope she’ll make the series more X-rated than ever.
F0or a fee, she might…
Jackie Fuchs (aka Jackie Fox), best know as a mumber of The Runaways, claims she was raped by her manager, Kim Fowley, in front of everyone in the band:
Fowley had a phrase to describe his work—“doing the hustle”—and he applied it to all aspects of his life. He was sex-obsessed; it was a subject never far from his mind, a constant part of his patter. “In the ’70s, on a combination of beer and Quaaludes, you could take on a roomful of lesbians and tear them apart,” he was quoted as saying in the biography Queens of Noise: The Real Story of the Runaways. “The favorite sport then was squatting on a table and fucking as hard as you could when the beer and ’ludes hit, and then you would fall to the floor and roll around and come that way. That was the orgasm of choice in the ’70s for me.”
As he would admit to anyone, Fowley was mostly after teenage girls, or, in his words, “young cunt” or “dirty pussy.” In the June 1975 issue of Back Door Man, an influential L.A. ’zine, he spelled out his desires in a personal ad that included a cheesy photo of him in a white sport coat and white pants. It began, “If you are eighteen and like it or if you are under 18 and legally emancipated (with paper work) then you may have just stumbled upon the opportunity of a lifetime.”
Is Operation Yewtree active in the US? And, by the way, Kim Fowley is dead.
Karen Danczuk cheated on her MP husband with a salesman — whose heart she won by sending a topless selfie… she posed for him in sexy underwear on her marital bed while Labour backbencher Simon was away on parliamentary business.
Karen says she’s never cheated on Simon Danczuk. But Sun readers hear a “source” tell them:
“Karen told this fella she was madly in love and he fell for her big time… She said she didn’t love Simon… Everyone knows Karen is famous for her selfies but she’s never done a topless one — so you can imagine how this bloke felt when she whipped off her bra just for him! It’s a bit of a collector’s item.”
The bra or or the tweet? Can you collect tweets? And isn’t collecting bras a little, you know, creepy?
Yesterday when The Sun invited Karen to discuss the fling, she said simply: “Let me have a think about it.”
Topless pohoto of Simon Danczuk have yet to surface.
The judge turned critic at the trial of Phil Rudd, the AC/DC drummer sentenced to eight months’ home detention by a New Zealand court for threatening to kill and possessing drugs.
Judge Tom Ingram responded to defence lawyers’ pleas that without Rudd AC/DC were less, by opining: “Queen replaced Freddie Mercury.”
But perhaps the biggest laugh was scored by Rudd who as he left court told a reporter “to get a f*****g job pal, get a real job”.
So said the drummer…
And now for the pay off. Karen Dancuk is to appear on Channel 5’s Celebrity Big Brother. Having recently appeared on Channel 5 news to tell us that her life is private, a “telly source” says:
“In the last week following the break-up of her marriage she has become all the more marketable. CBB is perfect for her — as viewers will see a lot of her famous boobs and she will have more to talk about.”
Given her love of selfies, will Karen become the show’s first stop motion housemate?