Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
UKIP, once derided as “loonies” have issued a set of posters that look a little familiar.
Spotters: Independent, Private Eye
NIGEL Farage, leader of Ukip - sole mission: to destroy The BNP- has been hit by a bout of improvised hand gesturing as he stood outside the Bell Inn in Bath, now renamed the Bell End.
DID you see those new UKIP posters, the ones warning about foreigners coming over here to take our jobs?
The man in the frame was there to illustrate “British workers” being “hard hit by unlimited cheap labour”. He is seen begging. He is one of the hard hit.
THANKS to Nick Clegg (wage: £134,565 a year) and his wife Miriam González Durántez (wage: 500,000 a year), we know how to raise our children. Miriam interrupted a speech by Nick on how men should get time off work to care for the kids (he says men must see themselves are carers not breadwinners) to tells us that men who look after their children have “more cojones”.
He told the audience of working parents that he and Miriam shared the work after their birth of their three sons, Antonio, Alberto and Miguel.
Nick has cojones the size of a nanny from Belgium.
UNFORTUNATE UKIP ad placement:
GEORGE W. Bush’s paintings have been adapted to feature on pillows, bags, throws and clocks. Bush’s collection - “The Art of Leadership: A President’s Personal Diplomacy” – features the faces of his dad, Tony Blair, Vladimir Putin and Hamid Karzai.
WHO wants to be Nigel Farage’s PA? That’s not euphemism. You won’t have to sleep with him. He’s not a Cabinet Minister.
Granted, his current PA does get to inhale his man-of-the-people’s breath after a night in the Pint & Castella. HE;s his wife – his German-born wife. And he can enter the contest to find her replacement on the website of recruitment firm Xpat Jobs.
THE Journal Star has caught up with Jacob Elliott. He was arrested in the war on free speech. The Mayor or Peoria, one Jim Ardis, was very upset at the fake Twitter account, @Peoriamayor. He called the police.
Rather than laugh at Mr Ardis and advise him to respond to the spoof blog with humour and smiles, the police thought he had made a good point. How very dare anyone mock the Mayor. You can mock Jesus, God, Mohammed and even George Clooney, but mocking the Mayor of Peoria is a step too far.
Three judges agreed.
Judge Kirk Schoebein signed off on a warrant seeking subscriber information from Twitter.
Judge Lisa Wilson approved a warrant for Comcast to find out where the person who used the Internet to access Twitter lived
Judge Kim Kelley signed the warrant to search the home of the alleged parodists.
Respect for the man and his office must be preserved.
ED Miliband has been in Israel, rediscovering his Jewish roots.
The Daily Mail quotes the Labour leader as saying: “I would be the first Jewish prime minister if we win the election.”
THE War on Free Speech marches into Starkville, Mississippi, where police are seeking the master criminals who lampooned Starkville Aldermen David Little and Ben Carver using the Twitter accounts @DavidLittleBOA and @BenCarverPray.
The Daily Dolt notes:
The two aldermen came under fire recently after instigating the removal of Starkville’s highly popular Chief Administration Officer Lynn Spruill without providing any reason for the coup other than Carver’s comment that he “prayed” about it and God told him to kick her to the curb (hence the parody handle @BenCarverPrays).
THERE’S an interesting little tactic that Labour MPs are trying to use in the House of Commons these days. To ask questions about how much a department is spending on this or that and then when they get the answer they can chunter along about how poor widows are being thrown out of their homes over the bedroom tax so that Tory Ministers can spend £x on whatever it is they just asked about.
You know, Yah! Boo! The Tories and only Labour looks out for the working stiff.
This is a tactic that has just received some blowback as the answer given to the question, well, how much has Eric Pickles been spending on catering (given his size this would add another level of joy to the chuntering) was, well, a whole hell of a lot less than Labouir did when they were in power.
MARIA Miller has written an open letter to the people of Basingstoke, Hampshire:
“The last 16 months have been difficult. As you know, I have been working hard for Basingstoke and also doing my job as a Cabinet minister. During this time, I have been subject to an intense Parliamentary inquiry looking at extensive personal details of my family life, as a result of allegations made by a Labour MP.
“That committee has now published its report and I have accepted their findings in full. I have unreservedly apologised for the way I handled and apporached [sic] the inquiry.
“And I am pleased that the committee has fully dismissed all of the allegations made against me. Separately, I have already apologised and repaid an over-claim of my expenses, having myself drawn the committee’s attention to the matter immediately I was aware of it.
“I have always sought to do the best job that I can in representing the people of Basingstoke in Westminster. I am devastated that this has happened, and that I have let you down.
“I can only hope that over time the focus will once again by on Basingstoke.”
IN 1865, Seth Kinman (1815-1888), the California Hunter and Trapper, gave US President Andrew Johnson a GRIZZLY-BAR CHAIR.
MARIA Miller is the Tory MP and Culture Secretary. She is involved in discussions over the future of press regulation. She wants more of it. She is just one of the cross-party elite (and you can include artists in this illiberal group) who like free speech but want to insert a “but” after it. She wants limits on freedom.
Mrs Miller’s in trouble over her expense.
Kathryn Hudson, the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner looked at Miller’s expenses. She did the sums and found that Mrs Miller’s claims for mortgage interest payments exceeded her allowance by £44,000. Mrs Hudson made her report. Mrs Miller issued a 75-word apology. Miller agreed to repay £5,800 in over-claimed allowances and apologised for her “attitude” to the official inquiry.
FLASHBACK to April 10 2004: The ‘Bin Laden Determined To Strike In US’ Memo:
NIGEL Farage has achieved nothing in his time as Ukip leader other than promote himself. His mission is to gift the two biggest parties an identity and sense of purpose. His comments, such as a recent sense of pride in having “taken a third of the BNP’s support”, seducing those bigots “frustrated” and “upset” by their changing communities, serve to demolish the once feared BNP and make Ukip wholly unelectable.
If Farage leaves, perhaps under a scandal, what then for Ukip?
Nothing. The party will disintegrate.
FLASHBACK to November 14 1987:
West German Minister for Economic Cooperation, Hans Klein, right, dances with Elke Koska, wife and muse of German conceptual artist HA Schult, at the annual federal press ball on Friday, November 14, 1987 at the Beethoven Hall in Bonn, Germany.
It’s cracking photo.
And it’s her we’re looking at, isn’t. It;’ what she hoped we’d do. Here’s Elke in 2009:
This is her husband and his work:
And here’s Hans Klein. We were looking at Elke’s gigantic hair and HA’s zany art. But it’s Hans who turns out to be the one to watch:
If you spot a recurring theme, do say:
Hans Klein, the old charmer, died on December 2 1996.
A trained journalist, a diplomat, press officer of the Olympic Games in Munich, close friend of Franz Josef Strauss and development minister. He became Helmut Kohl’s government spokesman in April 1989. It was job he called: “The worst suicide mission to which I have ever gotten myself into.” After the Berlin Wall carbon let his chancellery minister Rudolf Seiter inform the media. ”
We need more charmers like him in politics.
“I DISCOVERED rap from a young age,” says David Palmer, 25, who performs under the name Dave In Charge. He’s the grandson of Monroe and Susette Palmer, now life peers Lord and Lady Palmer of Childs Hill, Barnet, London.
The nebbishy looking rapper who recorded his song from his parent’s The Vale, Golders Green crib and the video on the mean paths of Hampstead Heath, goes on:
WHEN Nick Clegg took the Yellow corner and Nigel Farage the purple one, LBC radio realised it had a fight on its hands, the likes of which we have not seen since chocolate teapot fought a glass hammer. To the winner the glory of being the second least likely leader of a mainstream political party to be Prime Minister.
Michael Fabriant, the Tory MP with the made-for-TV hair (and please note his twitter profile photo), nailed Clegg with:
@Mike_FabricantNick Clegg claimed ’3 million jobs depend on EU membership’. That was a back-of-the-envelope figure invented by Tony Blair. Not factual
Nick Clegg claimed ’3 million jobs depend on EU membership’. That was a back-of-the-envelope figure invented by Tony Blair. Not factual
— Michael Fabricant (@Mike_Fabricant) March 27, 2014
VLADIMIR Putin, scourge of gays, is now a homosexual act prevention device.
It’s not yet Government issues in Russia, but give it time…
But do use the enema before serving:
THAT’S what the newspapers are reporting this morning, that Osborne has stung the big internet companies like Amazon and Apple by changing the rules on VAT rates. Although it’s not actually Osborne who has done this, it’s the EU:
Multinational companies such as Amazon and Apple will be forced to add VAT to all UK downloads including music, film, smartphone games and e-books from January 2015 in a move that may drive up the cost of music tracks from 99p to £1.19.
The move forms part of the Government’s “international efforts to develop tough, new global tax rules,” George Osborne said in his Budget address last week. From next year, download services will be subject to VAT in the country where the consumer is located.
According to the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR), the change will attract an extra £300m in VAT revenues in the first year.
YOU’D think that people would have worked out about these internet things by now but apparently there are none so dumb as politicians:
Shortly after the Twitter ban came into effect around midnight, the micro-blogging company tweeted instructions to users in Turkey on how to circumvent it using text messaging services in Turkish and English. Turkish tweeters were quick to share other methods of tiptoeing around the ban, using “virtual private networks” (VPN) – which allow internet users to connect to the web undetected – or changing the domain name settings on computers and mobile devices to conceal their geographic whereabouts.
Some large Turkish news websites also published step-by-step instructions on how to change DNS settings.
On Friday morning, Turkey woke up to lively birdsong: according to the alternative online news site Zete.com, almost 2.5m tweets – or 17,000 tweets a minute – have been posted from Turkey since the Twitter ban went into effect, thus setting new records for Twitter use in the country.
The ban came from the Prime Minister, pissed off that people were disagreeing with him in public. One of the first people to breach the ban on using Twitter was the Turkish President.
We might have to start saying that there’s a Turkish variant of the Streisand Effect.
The Streisand effect is the phenomenon whereby an attempt to hide, remove, or censor a piece of information has the unintended consequence of publicizing the information more widely, usually facilitated by the Internet.
SO. There was the Happy Monday’s dancer Mark ‘Bez’ Berry kicking off his campaign to run for Parliament by joining the Barton Moss anti-fracking site, Manchester.
Bez, famous for winning Celebrity Big Brother, playing the maracas whilst white-and-not-drunk-in-a-Spanish-pub and being the subject of the line “Everyone thinks Bez has about two pounds of coke up his nose all the time and he’s on about eight E’s”, aims to “stir things up” in the Commons. His manifesto is concise:
“If you want to do something about things you’ve got to get into the corridors of power and take them on. If you’re voting for me, you’re voting as a protest about what’s happening in the world at the moment.”
It all seems impossible until you realise that the politician in Bez’s sights is the Labour MP Hazel Blears, a woman whose twin political ambitions are to be more irritating than Harriet Harman and to make Ed Balls look self-conscious. She’s half-way there.
Bez might just win…