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Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air

Donald Trump mouth/eye swap for your nightmares

Nicholas Longtin: “I saw the Photoshop of Donald Trump with mouth eyes and I had to see what that would look like in full motions video. It’s horrifying. You have been warned.”

Posted: 6th, March 2016 | In: Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Winston Churchill goes down a waterslide backwards, and loses his trunks

Winston Churchill goes down a waterslide backwards, and loses his trunks in the process. (my first ever gif!) (i.imgur.com)

 

Winston Churchill goes down a waterslide backwards, and loses his trunks in the process.

Posted: 5th, March 2016 | In: Gifs, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Donald Trump’s Latino fans are Twitter robots

Donald Trump’s Latino fans rally on Twitte:

 

Screen Shot 2016-02-28 at 17.28.23 Screen Shot 2016-02-28 at 17.28.09

Posted: 28th, February 2016 | In: News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Suits you: Cameron invites shabby chic Corbyn to join the Bullingdon Club

When is a suit an expensive suit? That question to the Daily Mirror, which like most of us watched Prime Minister’s Question Time and heard David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn sniping at one another.

Mr Corbyn asked if the PM would be “writing another letter to himself, asking on behalf of his constituents asking for the health secretary to intervene and support his local NHS?” The prime minister was heckled by a Labour MPs as he made his reply. One shouted, “Ask your mother.”

“Ask my mother?” said Cameron. “I think I know what my mother would say. I think she would look across the despatch box and she would say ‘Put on a proper suit, do up your tie and sing the national anthem’.”

In the Mirror this becomes, “Millionaire David Cameron has launched a bitter attack against Jeremy Corbyn for not wearing expensive suits.”

In other Daily Mirror news: “Suits you sir! Supermarket suits enjoying record sales… but which are worth the money?”

The Sunday Mirror enlisted Gabriel John of London tailors October House, who has dressed stars such as England footballer Scott ­Parker and Olympic cyclist Mark Cavendish, to give his verdict on suits under £60 plus a dinner suit for £75. He said: “For the price they are not a bad investment.”

You don’t need to be millionaire to wear a suit. Style is timeless. The Mirror told us that:

Style has no age limit – as the winners of our Glamorous Gran competition clearly  demonstrate. We asked our readers to nominate their stylish nans then asked you to pick our worthy winners. And Margaret Docherty was your favourite Glam Gran. She scoops £1,000 to spend at 50-plus fashion brand JD Williams and a 12-month contract with modelling agency Mrs Robinson, which specialises in maturer models.

And Corbyn is a bit of a toff, as the Mirror reported:

…despite many thinking he may snub the event, Mr Corbyn did in fact arrive at the event wearing an outfit that would not look out of place in a Bullingdon Club portrait. As he arrived at the banquet…

Jeremy Corbyn earns £125,000 a year and lives in Islington, where terraced properties sold for an average price of £1,331,997 in 2015. He could wear a suit in the Commons. But he chooses not to. With money comes choice to create your own image.

 

Corbyn suit

Posted: 25th, February 2016 | In: News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Brexit Song: stop what you’re doing and watch what Eurovision won’t be

Posted: 24th, February 2016 | In: Music, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary Clinton v Apple and The San Bernardino killers

Hillary Clinton versus Apple and the San Bernardino killers:

 

Hilary Clinton versus Apple and the Sat Bernadino killers

 

Posted: 22nd, February 2016 | In: News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Boris Johnson knifes Cameron as Labour woos patriots

boris johnson EU out

 

Boris Johnson has “electrified the referendum race” by backing the No vote to take Britain out of the European Union, says the Times. The mayor of London stood on the steps of his London home and told vast ranks of media:

“After a great deal of heartache I don’t think there’s anything else I can do: I will be advocating Vote Leave… because I want a better deal for the people of this country,” he said. “To save them money and to take back control, that’s really, I think, what this is all about.”

Earlier in the day, David Cameron had told the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show:

“I think the prospect of linking arms with Nigel Farage and George Galloway and taking a leap into the dark is the wrong step for our country and if Boris and if others really care about being able to get things done in our world then the EU is one of the ways in which we get them done.”

Johnson counters in his Daily Telegraph column:

“We will hear a lot in the coming weeks about the risks of this option; the risk to the economy, the risk to the City of London, and so on; and though those risks cannot be entirely dismissed I think they are likely to be exaggerated. We have heard this kind of thing before, about the decision to opt out of the euro, and the very opposite turned out to be the case… We will be told that a Brexit would embolden Putin, though it seems to me he is more likely to be emboldened, for instance, by the West’s relative passivity in Syria.”

The Mirror says Boris is a “RAT” who has “humiliated his old Eton chum David Cameron”.  It is a “cynical bid to become Tory leader” when Cameron stands down. Cynicism in politics? Never!

Over two more pages, the Mirror says Boris has stuck a “dagger in Cam’s heart”, “heaping humiliations” on the PM.

The Mail agrees. “Boris Johnson dealt a dagger blow to David Cameron,” the paper states at the top of on the front page.

Knife-crime remains rife in Broken Britain.

The Mirror invites Labour stalwart Alan Johnson to write in favour of staying in Europe beneath the headline, “A vote to Remains is the real patriotic choice.”

 

s out 1

 

In the Express, Boris for ‘No’ is a “big boost for the Daily Express crusade”. It is your patriotic duty to vote ‘No’. Boris is “the most popular politician in the country”. He is backing the Express‘ bid to leave the “discredited Union”.

 

boris out

 

The Star says indelible UKIP leader Nigel Farage is having the “last laugh”.  He most likely had the first laugh, too. Farage likes laughing in public, belching that big braying easy-geyser guffaw whenever a camera hones into view.

 

s out 2

 

The Sun says Boris is the “Blond Bombshell”, who has delivered a “massive blow” to Cameron’s vision. It is the “PM’s WORST NIGHTMAYOR”. One page on and David Cameron’s deal with Europe sees him mocked up as “PINOCCHIOEU”.

One thing is clear: Johnson has managed to get the Sun on his side. And when it comes to winning a General Election, that’s no bad thing.

Vote now – and vote often!

 

 

Posted: 22nd, February 2016 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Pulp Fiction GOP debate mash-up is brilliant

The Pulp Fiction GOP Debate mash-up

Posted: 8th, February 2016 | In: Gifs, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Time for Tango to give Jamie Oliver a good slap

jamie oliver fatJamie Oliver says he will “go ninja” should David Cameron refuse to impose a ‘sugar tax’ on fizzy drinks. Ninja’s are people you can’t see or hear. Go for it, Jamie. Go ninja. Stay ninja!

Oliver wants anyone who eats things he thinks contain too much sugar to pay a tax. Oliver sees tax as a means of teaching you a lesson. This is shocking news for those of us who thought tax was a way of raising money.

Jamie reasons that expensive sugary treats will deter people from eating them. In Jamie’s draconian dictatorship, the government is in charge of everything. It tells us what we can eat, when we can eat it, at what price and in what volume. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn might consider Oliver’s attack on Cameron a good thing, although even he must recognise what a disaster this Soviet-style meddling is.

It’s not the job of governments to tell us what we can eat. We can work that out for ourselves. Of course, in elitist Oliver’s world, the brains are with the rich who can afford a more expensive glass of pop and exercise self-restraint brought about by increased choice; the poor must do as they’re told and feel better for it. Or else.

Oh, and as for the Sugar Ninja – the one you never saw coming – we prefer him:

 

Posted: 8th, February 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Censor demands ban on singing Delilah at Wales and Stoke FC matches

 

Media hungry Labour MP Chris Chris Bryant wants people to stop singing Delilah, the song made famous by Welsh crooner Tom Jones. He specifically wants us to stop singing it at Wales rugby union matches and whenever Stoke City FC play – fans of both teams have taken the song to their hearts. It is one of many songs from the golden age of pop still sung by British sports fans.

Chris, MP for Rhondda, says:

“It is a simple fact that when there are big international rugby matches on, and sometimes football matches as well, the number of domestic violence incidents rises dramatically.”

Why, why, why, Chris Bryant?

“I know that some people will say, ‘Oh, here we go, he’s a terrible spoilsport,’ but the truth is that that song is about the murder of a prostitute. It goes right to the heart of the issues we are discussing. There are thousands of other songs we could sing.”

Such as ‘Chris Bry-ant is a f***ing twat. Chris Bry-ant is a f***ing twat etc.’ (Sung to the tune of Go West). Or, ‘There’s only one Chris Bryant, he demands we stay silent. He’s five foot tall and his brain’s too small, Livin’in a Bryant wonderland!’ Or, ‘He’s red, he’s fat he rents out his London flat, Chris Bry-ant, Christ Bry-ant’.

Says Chris the censor:

“I have sung Delilah as well — everybody loves doing the ‘She stood there laughing’ moment but if we are really going to take this issue seriously in Wales, we have to change how we do things.”

Chris is Labour MP. So let’s play out their theme tune. It features lots of Welsh kit red:

The people’s flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyred dead,
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts’ blood dyed its ev’ry fold.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

Look ’round, the Frenchman loves its blaze,
The sturdy German chants its praise,
In Moscow’s vaults its hymns are sung
Chicago swells the surging throng.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

It waved above our infant might,
When all ahead seemed dark as night;
It witnessed many a deed and vow,
We must not change its colour now.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

It well recalls the triumphs past,
It gives the hope of peace at last;
The banner bright, the symbol plain,
Of human right and human gain.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

It suits today the weak and base,
Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
To cringe before the rich man’s frown,
And haul the sacred emblem down.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

With heads uncovered swear we all
To bear it onward till we fall;
Come dungeons dark or gallows grim,
This song shall be our parting hymn.

Then raise the scarlet standard high.
Within its shade we’ll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

 

Or not.

 

Posted: 6th, February 2016 | In: News, Politicians, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A picture of Donald Trump with his daughter Ivanka perched atop two concrete parrots having sex

Photo of the day: “A picture of Donald Trump, with his daughter Ivanka, perched atop two concrete parrots having sex.”

 

Posted: 1st, February 2016 | In: Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Peter Serafinowicz turns Donald Trump into a Cockney geyser

Donald Trump becomes a laughable comedy gangster when his words are dubbed by Peter Serafinowicz. It’s hilarious.

 

Posted: 29th, January 2016 | In: Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bernie Sanders is now an ice cream flavour

bernie's yearning ice cream 

What does a 74-year-old politician taste of? Given the usual sexual kinks of the great and learned, we’d say hot wax, orange rind and dry-cleaning. But Ben Cohen (co-founder and half the namesake of Ben & Jerry’s) says Bernie Sanders tastes of mint ice cream with a milk chocolate disc on the top.

“The chocolate disc represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession,” the carton to Bernie’s Yearning reads. “Beneath it, the rest of us.”

Use by November 8 2016.

Spotter: Politico

 

Posted: 26th, January 2016 | In: Politicians, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Samantha Cameron and the ‘oink oink noises’ at school

You have undoubtedly head the scurrilous  claim that David Cameron once put his member in a dead pig’s mouth (a claim made without a scintilla of evidence to support it). Well, in utterly unrelated news the Daily Mirror reports on piggy noises:

 

sam cam pig

 

Mummy, why do the teachers make those noises? Well, kids, come closer…

Posted: 25th, January 2016 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin in Yosemite Sam

Posted: 24th, January 2016 | In: Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lord Janner: 3 missed chances, a self-serving CPS inquiry and allegations now fact

lord janner daily mirror

 

Westminster paedos: a look at reporting on the story of sex crimes in high places.

The Daily Mirror has been at the forefront of the allegations of murderous paedophiles protected by the Establishment. Today over pages 6 and 7 it looks at the late Lord Janner, a former Labour MP and peer who died an innocent man. The story, however, is that he dodged justice. He was accused of 2 counts of sex offences against boys between the 1960s and 80s. He never stood in the dock.

“Lord Janner Child Sex Abuse Probe ‘Shambles – they had 3 chances to charge him. It was just one big cover up.”

Lord Janner is now covered by earth, what with his having been buried, if not exactly laid to rest.

Failures by police and prosecutors allowed Lord Janner to escape child sex charges three times, a damning independent inquiry has revealed.

Janner is damned! How’s that for rough justice.

But a man who told detectives Janner abused him as a boy has denounced the report as another Establishment whitewash. Paul Miller, 52, one of 25 alleged Janner victims, said: “This report is another cover up. Nobody has been named yet again. The people who failed the victims should be named and held accountable.”

The story continues:

The independent inquiry’s report published yesterday said  it was ‘wrong’ Janner…had not been charged  with child abuse in 1991. It added that police and the Crown Prosecution Service  also failed to act in 2002 and again in  2007 despite there being a ‘realistic prospect’ of convicting him.”

The independent inquiry was commissioned by the director of public prosecutions. It was carried out by retired High Court Juge Sir Richard Henriques. He says: “I have concluded that the decision not to charge Janner was wrong and that there was enough evidence against Janner on December 4 1991 to provide  a realistic prospect of conviction.”

 

janner guilty

 

Page 10: “Voice of the Mirror.”

Voice of the Mirror: Victims of Lord Janner need the truth

Not alleged victims. “Victims”.

For decades the former Labour MP Lord Janner preyed on vulnerable children.

Justice denied is judgement delayed until the accused is dead. Guilty!

He is now dead but he leaves behind a legacy of wrecked lives, trauma and misery. The authorities have serious questions to answer as to why they failed to press charges against Janner. All the evidence points to a cover-up by an establishment either too fearful to prosecute one of their own or which, in the worst instance, deliberately concealed his wrongdoing.

Daily Mail Page 16: “How Janner dodged justice 3 times”

What about the law and all those barriers to justice?

The Sun Page 13: Jane Moore says, “Protect victim of serial liars.”

Last week, nearly a year after 20 officers raided Lord Bramall’s home, the Met police issued a churlish statement in which it said there was “insufficient evidence” to pursue the claim against him. “Zero evidence” might have been a better description.

He has expressed his frustration that the Met described his accuser’s claims as “credible and true” before he even knew he was under investigation… is it possible that the culture of Jimmy Savile and police failure to act has prompted the pendulum to swing too far the other way?

Lord Bramall questions whether detectives had carried out a “partial and objective” investigation and suggested they lacked judgment because they were “terrified” of being accused of covering something up. In other words, it has become a victim-centric culture where all accusers are believed even when the most cursory of initial checks might suggest something doesn’t quite add up.

The dead are always guilty. The living are always clean and keen to emphasis that “lessons have been learnt”.

As Director of Public Prosecutions Alison Saunders says:

“The inquiry’s findings that mistakes were made confirms my view that failings in the past by prosecutors and police meant that proceedings were not brought. It is a matter of sincere regret that on three occasions, opportunities to put the allegations against Lord Janner before a jury were not taken. It is important that we understand the steps which led to these decisions not to prosecute, and ensure that no such mistakes can be made again.”

Daily Express Page 6: “Outrage at ‘three missed chances’ to charge Janner over sex abuse claims”

The Express points to failures by police and Crown lawyers. It says the police failed to listen to the alleged victims. The police never do listen. They talk and expect us to hear. Time to name them and the lawyers. Or are we waiting for them to die before they can be questioned?

 

Posted: 20th, January 2016 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Newspaper correction of the decade: Obama is not the anti-Christ

obama anti-christ letter

 

On February 7, 2015, The Dispatch, based in Lexington, N.C.  featured this letter.

Editor: God states that seven kings must come before the rise of the Antichrist. Revelations 17:10 says the seventh king will reign for a short amount of time. Is Barack Obama the seventh king?

Obama has passed laws to kill more innocent people than anyone in the past. Obama’s laws are on abortion and medication allow children to kill children and kill millions of children yearly with our tax dollars. Obama passes his own laws without any laws being enforced in the U.S. Constitution to stop his actions. Obama funds America’s enemies with our money.

Obama’s lifted sanctions off Iran with promises that a peace treaty will be made but does nothing to inspect Iran as they continue to make nuclear weapons. Does Obama already know Iran’s actions and is helping Iran? God says Israel must be attacked by Iran to start a war between all nations before the Antichrist can rise to create a peace treaty between these nations. Everything God said is happening. The Lord can return for God’s children at anytime.

Obama’s releasing terrorists from Gitmo so they can go back to doing the same thing again. Obama won’t call this Islamic terrorism. States also have no-go zones of Islamists teaching their followers how to attack people. Obama believes this is their religious right. This is to come also in these last days. Will this belief be used to create a one-world government?

Radical Islamists show you either follow them or be killed. Christ said only those who remain faithful and endureth until the end are saved. It’s going to be this world’s choice.

Obama has done nothing to help anyone unless it helps him hurt other people. Obama doesn’t want to protect America and nations like Israel. Obama’s given more rights unto the millions of illegal immigrants and anyone entering America than any U.S. citizen. Obama did this to divide America and other nations to make them easier for these terrorists to enter.

Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he’s done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord’s return and the rise of the Antichrist, but you better know what evil you’re dealing with. Nobody is promised another minute of life upon this earth, and judgment comes at the time of your death.

Many support and stand behind Obama no matter what he does. All these people will stand with Obama in judgment also. Christ promises to spew every lukewarm soul out of his mouth. This means very few will enter heaven, because they show no faith by fighting against the sins of this world daily.

Should Christianity, God’s words or all other beliefs be trusted in these last days? Many Christian beliefs today aren’t God’s words, because they support the sins of this world. No hypocrite will enter heaven.

Boyd W. Thomas

Welcome

The correction arrived a day later.

Posted: 17th, January 2016 | In: Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Witch Hunt Update: Lord Janner Case Dead And Buried (Like Him)

lord janner

Daily Mirror, 3rd December 1991

 

Lord Janner is in the clear.

That the peer and former Labour MP is dead is not part of his plea. Plans were to try his corpse in a court of law in what is laughably called a ‘Trial of The Facts’, a phrase that overlooks the key point that facts are hard to make factual if only one side of the argument is heard.

No official word as yet from anti-paedo MPs Tom Watson (“he’s evil”) and Simon Danczuk (“Phwoar- gerrumoff”).

Posted: 15th, January 2016 | In: News, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Cameron has died: newsreader mistakes PM for David Bowie

david cameron dies

 

David Cameron has died. Well, so says Fiona Winchester, a newsreader for Heart FM.

Whoops! Her mistake.

That’s David Bowie who died. Spot the difference?

 

Posted: 11th, January 2016 | In: Celebrities, News, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Simon Danczuk: Oral sex, rape and Rochdale lab rats

danczuk

 

Danczuk: a look at Labour MP in the media.

The Sun: “Karen Danczuk probed by police over oral sex claim against sex-text MP’s ex”

Probed. Eu!

EXCLUSIVE: Selfie queen claimed love rival romped with married MP

It’s tight sportswear fan Karen Danczuk, the woman for whom the internet is but a virtual mirror.

SIMON Danczuk’s former wife Karen faces a police probe after accusing his ex-girlfriend of sleeping with another Labour MP. The selfie queen hit out at Claire Hamilton, who had said shamed Danczuk was unfit to be a politician.

Two things in reverse order: we get the MPs we deserve. Is Danczuk a good constituency MP? Dunno. Is a media hound? Yep.

Karen, 32, who has been supporting her ex-husband since his split from Claire last month, tweeted: “You forgot to say which married Labour MP gave you oral sex 24 hours before getting with SD.”

STD? Ooops! Sorry. Our mistake. It’s SD. And which married Labour MP is  being hinted at?

Claire, who last night denied the allegation, demanded Karen remove it from Twitter.

Great, isn’t it, this story of sex, sex, selfies, sex, sex, tweets, sex and uniforms.

Karen refused so Claire called cops, who are investigating.

The police? A tweet is police matter. In our country a tweet is a potential crime. The politicians made that happen. See, you get the politicians you deserve.

Claire, 32, said: “I’m prepared to take legal action because I can’t have that. She’s just trying to slander me because I revealed that Simon was texting a 17-year-old girl.”

Which he was.

When The Sun approached the married Labour MP Karen was referring to, who we are choosing not to name, he also denied it. He said: “That’s absolutely outrageous. I’ve never had a relationship with Claire Hamilton.”

Who mentioned a relationship? What about sex?

In other news…

The Indy: “Labour MP Simon Danczuk facing police inquiry over rape allegation”

Lancashire Police have confirmed that a complaint has been made against Mr Danczuk, the MP for Rochdale, regarding an alleged incident that occurred in 2006, according to the Manchester Evening News.

Go on…

A spokesman for the force told the paper said: “We can confirm that we have today received a report of a rape against a 49-year-old man relating to an historic offence from 2006. Enquiries are in the very early stages and are ongoing.”

This is getting dark.

 

 

The Mail:  “Simon Danczuk is being investigated for RAPE say police, as he is heckled outside his own office by ex-wife Karen’s brother – who is also facing rape charges.”

And darker.

Responding to the investigation, the Rochdale MP described the rape allegation made against him as ‘malicious, untrue and upsetting’. He added: ‘The police have not been in touch with me but I will co-operate fully with any inquiries and am confident my name will be promptly cleared.’

Let’s hope he doesn’t drop dead. Given the frenzy over dead celebs, the star paedo-hunter could have all manner of mud lobbed in the hole.

A spokesman for the Rochdale MP said he could not comment further on the police investigation. However, speaking to reporters earlier today, Mr Danczuk said: ‘I would always cooperate with the police in any regard in any investigation in relation to any issue.’

MP supports police! Read all about it!

Around 20 protesters gathered outside Mr Danczuk’s constituency office in Rochdale this morning calling for him to resign, including Karen’s Danczuk’s brother. Michael Burke, who is accused of a string of historic sex offences against three alleged victims, was photographed heckling the embattled MP as he left his constituency office to face the crowd of protestors.

And then get this:

The 38-year-old security guard, who is Mr Danczuk’s former step-brother, was charged in October with 11 counts of rape, five counts of indecent assault and one count of attempted rape.

Rochdale’s not a town – it’s a Petri dish.

The last words are with Simon:

“I don’t think I will be expelled from the Labour party, I think when they carry out the internal investigation – which I will cooperate fully with – they will conclude that, whilst I made one or two foolish mistakes, it doesn’t warrant me being expelled from the party. So I’m quietly confident that they will conclude I’ll remain a Labour member of parliament… I do think there is an interesting dichotomy between people like Boris Johnson, who make a lot of money as a member of Parliament and indeed as Mayor of London, whilst writing for the Daily Telegraph and the right-wing media and who has a very colourful personal life.”

Name Boris’s wife. Go on. Can you?

“And yet a working class lad like me in Rochdale, who writes for some of the national newspapers and has a working class colourful personal life, I get lambasted, whilst Boris, playing it out with debutantes and all the rest of it in this upper-class world, doesn’t get lambasted. And I think there is still very much an establishment, class issue going on in terms of, you know it’s a sociological issue is this, about how some of this stuff plays out, I think it’s quite interesting.”

Nah. Stick to the shagging. That’s got us hooked…

 

Posted: 5th, January 2016 | In: News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Keeping Up With The Danczuks: toenails, orgies, escorts and God

DAnczuk sex

 

Keeping up with the Danczuks: a look at Labour MP and anti-paedo activist Simon Danczuk and assorted women in the tabloids.

Daily Mirror (Page 7): “Shamed MP to sue over ex’s claim he is sex predator”.

Mrs Danczuk Number 1, Sonia Rossington, claims her then husband had sex with her while she asleep. She was, she alleged, asleep before the sex began. She did not drop off during the act. Now Simon is to “take legal action” over those claims.

A ‘close friend” of his tells the paper, “If some of the allegations Sonia makes are true then why didn’t she go to the  police at the time.? Why is she only coming out with this now?”

Maybe the same pal can ask that question of Jimmy Savile’s alleged victims and other people who have made recent claims to have been molested by the great and not all that good?

The Sun (front page): “Danczuk: It’s time to pray.”

“Shamed” MP Simon and Mrs Danczuk Number 2 Karen are at a church.

We learn that his first wife, the aforesaid Sonia, “had been paid by men for group hotel romps”.

Pages 8-9: “1st Missus was orgy sex worker” – “an escort who  took part in paid orgies.” We don’t know if that’s true. But you might have encountered Stephanie36HH – those letters not a reference to her pencils, rather her breasts.

The Sun also reminds us that Simon exchanged “horny” texts with teenaged Sophena Houlihan, aka Goddess Rosalie Von Morelli, who used to sell bras, knickers (both used) and toenail clippings.

A Sun “source” claims Sonia “told a pal he wanted to put hair-removal cream in Karen’s shampoo”.

Daily Mail (Pages 14-15): “Danczuk ‘got so drunk he forgot he sent sex texts to girl, 17”.

Curse that autocomplete! We can only be thankful that drunk Simon never expressed his desire to spank someone else on his Twitter feed. Moreover, let us give thanks Simon never fell awkwardly on his phone and had it inserted up his arse. A hundred vicars in A & E shudder at the idea and vow never to use a mobile whilst naked ever again.  

Conclusion: it could be worse.

Posted: 4th, January 2016 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Simon Danczuk: woman of the year 2016

Simon Danczuk, the sleazy Labour MP for Rochdale, is wrapped around the news like a randy middle-aged man at a bridal shower. The smart move would be for mired Simon to undergo a sex change and emerge as Margaret, or Cherie, a sultry temptress who can make a decent stab at being Woman of the Year, thus cementing his role as the British man / woman most likely to shag a Kardashian, or become one.

Let’s round-up the news.

 

Sunday Times (front page): “Wives at war over Disgraced Danczuk”

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On the cover we see sportswear enthusiast and nipple wrangler Karen Danczuk, Simon wife Number 2.

The scandal engulfing the Labour MP for Rochdale erupted in sexual claims and counter-claims after both his ex-wives, his former girlfriend and the young woman with whom he was caught exchanging sex messages became engaged in a war of words.

Pull up a chair. This is juicier than a Gwyneth Paltrow dinner party.

Danczuk accused Sonia Rossington, the mother of his two oldest children, of demanding a “six-figure sum” to “dish the dirt on me” by peddling “untrue allegations . . . of a criminal nature”.

In an interview with The Mail on Sunday, Rossington claimed that he had driven her into therapy with drug and alcohol-fuelled bullying and obsessive demands for sex.

More on that later. For now, Simon says:

“She has chosen not to take them to police but to a newspaper instead… She has not moved on and remains embittered to the point where she has prevented me from seeing or having a close relationship with my children. She has also become obsessed with trying to ruin my political career.”

He’s issued a statement:

“Ever since I was elected an MP in 2010 she has been pestering journalists, trying to spread malicious falsehoods and defamatory allegations about me. I am led to believe she’s been trying to get newspapers to enter a bidding war, asking for a six-figure sum for interviews to ‘dish the dirt’ on me.

“Out of respect for the fact she is the mother to two of my children I have not responded to her continual abuse and…”

So says Simon to the media, a man now Danczuk suspended from the Labour party after he exchanged sex texts with the then 17-year-old Sophena Houlihan.And on her:

Last night it was claimed that Houlihan, now 18, has been working as a dominatrix.

You want more on that? Of course you do. The People notes:

She was 17 when Labour MP Danczuk, 49, sent text messages in which he said he was “horny” and asked if she wanted spanking. The teenager claimed to be shocked by those “sexts” – but on a website Sophena called herself Goddess Rosalie Von Morelli, a financial dominatrix.

She used the site to sell used and worn thongs, “frenchies” and knickers for £15 a pair, and offered bras and toe-nail clippings for £10 a time.

Cue Karen Karen Danczuk, who tweets about Sonia:

“Sell your body for sex . . . I’d sit back and think before you speak. An ex friend of someone sent me explicit photos & evidence of ‘escorting’ . . . amongst other things.”

Rossington says she’s not and never has been a prostitute. She says:

“I’m aware of this, he threatened it years ago. Danczuk does smear, it’s quite easy [to] go through intimate marital pictures of us when we were together and create a false incriminating profile of me on certain websites.”

Over pages 6 and 7, Camilla Long tucks into the Danczuks. It’s sex, sex and sex.

A new relationship with a Labour councillor called Claire Hamilton failed after four months of public snogging and a threesome (amazingly not in public) in which Hamilton kissed Karen for “about an hour” while Danczuk took pictures. Hamilton eventually dumped Danczuk after she claimed he cheated on her, saying she had “no idea” how many women he had “been messaging on Twitter”. She guessed “a lot”…

Nearly a year ago, he was caught favouriting hardcore pornography on Twitter while he was out canvassing for the election. He said he was “a man of the world”, so of course he watched porn, but in this case it was an accident. His phone clicked on the porn owing to a fault. He seemed convincing, even though he was an MP blaming his own telephone for driving him to sex…

 

The Mirror (front page): “DISGRACED MP ‘ CRIED LIKE A BABY”

 

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It’s super snogger Claire Hamilton. Labour Councillor Claire says:

“He craves attention so much from anywhere he can get it, but he’s sunk to a new low this time. He told me he had come up with a plan for 2016 to make more money out of the celebrity and press side of things than from being an MP.”

Achievement unlocked. And the sex…

“He said he’d been messaging this teenage singer on Twitter when he was up late or couldn’t sleep in the early hours about ‘life and music and stuff’. I asked if the messages were friendly or intimate and why text someone so young? He wouldn’t tell me or show me the messages”…

“He was saying ‘I’m sorry, Claire, I’m sorry.’ I packed his bag and gave him it. He was crying like a baby. I went on Twitter straight away and typed ‘Danczuk dumped’. I didn’t want to give myself any chance to go back – it was over, done.”

Twitter is so definitive.

“I felt emotionally drained that he was in touch with someone so young. He obviously thought he had a chance with her because he essentially wanted us to have an open relationship. Having now seen the texts, I feel physically stick to my stomach.”

Pass the toenails…

 

The Sun (front page): “SEX TEXT MP: I LOVE YOUNG WOMEN”

 

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Says Simon:

“Younger women are my Achilles heel. My first wife was ten years younger than me, my second wife was 17 years younger, my last girlfriend is 17 years younger. Some men like older women, some like younger women, some like brunettes, some like blondes.”

Some like having their balls slammed in the car door. It’s a funny old world.

 

Daily Mail (front page): “My Years of Abuse from Sex Text MP”

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It’s Sonia. We’ll skip to the sex:

When she complained about him having sex with her, while she slept at 3am, he told her: ‘You’re my wife. I can have sex with you whenever I want.’ She said: ‘You learned not to cross him. He would say to me “If you get on the wrong side of me I will destroy you”. And he means it – he wants to take you down so you have nothing, not even a way of making a living.

‘I’ve been in therapy for years over this. I was terrified of relationships. I was afraid of so many things. Simon has cast a long shadow over my life.’

It gets sinister:

…when he came to bed he would have sex with me, interrupting my sleep. I would just wake up and it would be happening. It was always in the missionary position.

‘After a few weeks I was so exhausted I said to him “Please stop this” – but he tried to make me believe it was me who was initiating it. I was so confused. I thought I was going mad. I had no recollection of this at all. I started covering up, wearing long johns, pyjamas, socks, anything to make it more difficult for this to happen. I asked him to stop again.

Bit odd, no?

‘But this went on for months. I thought I was going mad. If it was me initiating things why was he always on top? So I decided to stay awake and see what he actually did and try to find out the truth. What happened was sly and awful.

‘He’d sneak into the room, take off his clothes and peel back the bed covers, roll me on to my back, open my legs and start having sex with me. I let him do this a few times, pretending to be asleep and even tried to record it on a camera, but of course it was dark.

‘I confronted him about it later. I said, “I know what you do and I want it to stop. I can’t believe you tried to make me think it was me initiating things.” He said, “It’s a husband having sex with his wife”.

‘He said, “Listen, Sonia. This is the deal. You are my wife and it’s expected from a wife to give her husband sex whenever he wants it. If you don’t give it to me when I want it I’ll go and look elsewhere.” I burst into tears. But after that he carried on for months with a much more careless attitude.

‘He would throw the blankets off and roll me over though he only took 15-20 seconds to finish.’

Simon has mentioned “injunctions” and layers, He says Sonia’s words are “unfounded and malicious”.

To which we can only add: Danczuk for Labour Leader! The campaign starts here…

Posted: 3rd, January 2016 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jeremy Corbyn gives flooded York a hand – literally

How did the tabloids report on Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn’s trip to flood-hit York?

Daily Mirror (Page 19): “Flood chaos: ‘Tory cuts are a massive threat to life.'”

Odd that such a big story should be buried on Page 19. Is Corbyn someone the Labour-supporting Mirror wants to hide?

 

Jeremy Corbyn York

 

The story introduces us to a council estate resident, who tells Mr Cobyn he is “disgusted” by David Cameron. It’s possible this is the resident’s default reaction to the Tory leader. The man tells Corbyn, “You are the first to come up here. Mr Cameron went to all the post estates, he didn’t come to council estates.”

A photo of Corbyn talking to a smiling local is captioned “listening”.

Daily Express: nothing.

Daily Mail: nothing.

The Sun (Page 8): “Jez fails to bag rescue job”

Corbyn “finally” paid a visit to York. He made a “half-hearted attempt to help. He moved a sandbag “with one hand tucked  away in his pocket… But local Labour MP Rachel Maskell used both hand to move hers”.

Conclusions: Corby has one strong arm – the other arm weaker than Tom Watson’s willpower in a fudge factory. Maskell is on-message. At a rate of one sandbag per person, MPs are not big on physical activity.

Daily Star (Page 8): “Corbyn, you’re 5 days too late”

“Residents…slammed Jeremy Corby for  arriving ‘too late'”. For what? Christmas?

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 1st, January 2016 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paedo Hunter Simon Danczuk suspended from Labour Party over teenage sex tweets

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Labour MP Simon Danczuk, 49, has been suspended from the Labour Party amid news that he sent ‘spanking’ texts to a teenager.

Simon Danczuk, MP for Rochdale, told the 17-year-old student she was “cheeky” and that he wanted to “spank” her.

Sophena Houlihan, now 18, says the paedo-hunting MP told her she made him “horny”.

Miss Houlihan tells the Sun: “When I first got in touch I never expected the messages to get so graphic. At the time I played along with it, but now I feel like he duped me. I enjoyed the attention. There is something about him that I was attracted to.”

The Sun says Danczuk “bombarded” Sophena with messages.

Sweet Sophena is now happy to share the message with Sun readers. In one she tells him her white body suit – the one she’s wearing in a photo she sent him – “would look better on your bedroom floor”.

He replied: “God help me.”

And now the randy old fool is being exposed as, well, a randy old fool in the tabloids.

What is with spanking and Rochdale MPs?

 

Posted: 31st, December 2015 | In: News, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lord Janner: trial goes ahead with a corpse in the dock

Lord JannerLord Janner: a look at the now dead former Labour peer in the Press.

The Sun (page 2): “Janner’s trial will be held”

In Heaven? Hell? Limbo?

The accusations levelled at the now dead former Labour MP “are to be considered in court”. So. Not tried, then. Considered.

The ubiquitous Liz Dux, a lawyer who represents some of the people who allege Janner molested then, says her clients want a “judicial finding that absolutely establishes what happened.” Which it won’t do. Newsflash: the accused man is dead.

The Mirror (page 2): “Janner case ‘could go on'”

Only ‘could”. The Sun said it will. We hear from the Crown Prosecution Service, which says “It is right this matter is considered properly in court.”

Will all the retired police officers who allegedly knew of the allegations be there? Will they be on trial? Or are we only talking about the dead man?

 

Posted: 22nd, December 2015 | In: News, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0