Anorak

- Author Archive

Hacked Off

‘THERE’S safety in numbers. That’s why the papers love them. Here are some things we learned last week…3 – China confirmed its first three human cases of bird flu. Two … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Mail Shot

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.Monday“PILL MADE ME CASINO ADDICT”Ruth Miles claims Mirpax, the drug she was prescribed to treat her Parkinson’s disease, turned her into … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Mind Your Language

‘THE CIA’s World Fact Book describes Kazakhstan thus: “Current issues include: developing a cohesive national identity; expanding the development of the country’s vast energy resources and exporting them to world … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


Racy Stacey

‘“GET A ROOM,” orders the Sun’s front page. “EastEnder Stacey in hotel corridor romp.” ‘Phwoaar! Surely … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Caught In The Web

‘WITH Kate Moss getting clean in the States, Omar Bakri stuck in Lebanon and Tony Blair on his way out, the papers look down their wanted list for the next … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Bad Old Days

‘OH-OH! Though there is no legal age for when a politician has to retire from public office, there is a feeling that it should not differ too much from when … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Bird Sanctuary

‘HOLD your fire! At least the vultures will save on the funeral expenses That sedge … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Chuck Chuckas It

‘PRINCE Charles is not getting any younger. At 57, Charles is a year older than King George VI was when he died in 1952. ‘Can I play?’ ‘So long as … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Cherie Picking

‘TO some, the only train Tony Blair has managed to get to run on time is the one marked “Gravy”. Do you know Summer Holiday? ‘You hum it, and I’ll … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


A Galaxy Of Stars

‘SPACE – the final reality show frontier. And now it is to be conquered. Martian Olooba shakes hands … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Lighten Up

‘SLOW news day? Omar Bakri can’t be reached on the phone? No Government legislation to champion. Footballer not caught in sex shame scandal with saucy stunna? What you need to … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Dress Parade

‘IT’S not just toadying, self-serving butlers who can fondle one of the late Princess Diana’s dresses. Now you too can own one of the great lady’s gowns. Your face here … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Who Do You Think You Are

‘WHAT do you get the man who has everything, although not a mistress, of course? Exterminate … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Walker On Part

‘FROM British royalty, we move now to the American strain. And take a look at the Bush clan, the family that rules American with an iron fist, a hanging chad … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


A Bouncing Baby Boy

‘“HE’S the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He’s wonderful to be with and we’re having a great time. It’s a privilege to have met him and become part of … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


A Thriller With Camilla

‘THE Beatles, Manchester United and the deep-fried kebab. Three things that have left Britain to conquer America. And now we add to that illustrious list of exports a fourth name: … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


The Demonised Drinkers

‘WHEN does a few lads enjoying some beers turn into a gang of binge drinkers? When does laughing out loud in the street become a breach of the peace? Answer: … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Public House

‘TONY Blair might be drinking in the last chance saloon, but he’s not supping alone. Last orders? … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Lights Switch

‘“IS this the most miserable town in Britain?” asks the Mail in the latest missive in its “CHRISTMAS KILLJOYS” campaign. ‘Whadya mean fire hazard?!’ … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Anchors Away

‘ANYONE who has watched the BBC’s weekend morning news show has asked: how did Kate Silverton get the job? Saddam Hussein’s cell has been painted in duck-egg blue … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bug Off

‘AUSTRALIA gives us bar staff, au pairs and Rolf Harris. We send them a platoon of our finest celebs. A worm’s eye view … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Talking Birds

‘RELEASE the parrots. Stop questioning them. They won’t talk. As the Sun says, “POLLY IN THE CLEAR”. They have nothing to say. Let my people go! … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Home Shopping Channel

‘TO most law-abiding types, the only guilty pleasure to be had from watching property shows is to see what other people’s houses look like. The lights are on … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Character Assassination

‘THE CIA’s World Fact Book describes Kazakhstan thus: “Current issues include: developing a cohesive national identity; expanding the development of the country’s vast energy resources and exporting them to world … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Three Sheets To The Wind

‘BLIMEY! That was close. When confidential papers outlining David Cameron’s leadership strategy were stolen from an MPs car, we wondered. Blank looks … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment