Anorak

| Anorak - Part 60

- Author Archive

Deadeye Dick

‘IF Osama Bin Laden ever makes it to America, he should take care. US Vice-President ‘Deadeye’ Dick Cheney has been getting his eye in. ‘Dan Quayle called me a what?’ … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Hospital Job

‘NOT a day passes without Britney Spears being involved in some kind of drama.Having survived spots, fame, more spots and husband Kevin’s wispy beard and vest, Spears has been hit … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Painfully Yours

‘“I LOVE PRESTON SO MUCH IT HURTS.” That’s the headline on the cover of today’s Star – words that are never far from the lips of anyone who has ever … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Fast & The Furious

‘THERE’S fast. There’s Ben Johnson. And there’s Hollywood. The Pitt-a-patter of tiny feet Not too far … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Fag End

‘“BRITAIN gives up smoking,” says the Times’s front-page headline. And we wonder if we have all, like some North Korean Army display team, acted as one?A quick look about Anorak … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Quality Time

‘IN the celebrity game of oneupmanship, it’s hats and knickers off to Sharon Stone. Roan Stone goes home … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Sick As A Parrot

‘CAN it be true? The Mirror’s front page says that ‘Big’ Ron Atkinson is staying at The Priory?It’s undeniable that Ron is a celebrity, and has every right to behave … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Shooting Party

‘FOR a nation that gets its kicks from laughing at video tapes of people diving headfirst into empty swimming pools and getting their hair caught up in ceiling fans, we’ve … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


IDs & Ego

‘GREAT news for amnesiacs. The Commons has heard your lament (you remember – the one about forgetting your name, nationality, pin number etc.) and voted in favour of ID cards. … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Cupid’s Cups Of Love

‘EVER the romantic, you’ve thought long and hard about how you’ll show your love for that special someone. Will you get them a huge teddy bear? What about a pair … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


In The Line Of Duty

‘“BROWN’S CALL-UP FOR STATE SCHOOL CADETS,” announces the Daily Mail, scarcely able to hide its excitement – but just managing to, in the interests of helping its Tory friends. Conservative … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Changing Rooms

‘ANOTHER British institution is under threat, as the Ask Jeeves search engine is considering scrapping the all-knowing butler. Fancy an early bath? … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Cross Voting

‘AFTER the pictures of Muhammad, who is now ready to take a look at what Jesus Christ looks like today? He dyed for our sins … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Video Nasty

‘LAST year’s news of what went on in initiation ceremonies at a military base in Taunton surprised few. No excuses … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Anthea Comes Clean

‘ANTHEA Turner wanted to know how the two women in her house managed to “achieve” anything in life with such messy laundry cupboards. Biting off more then she can chew … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Crack Of The Masses

‘WITH Kate Moss been and gone, the papers needed a new Public Enemy No. 1. And on Monday they spotted him. “NICK HIM,” ordered the Sun’s front-page headline. Dressed in … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Dead Set

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.A selection of things that will kill you and yours from the paper that (s)cares…MONDAY“How expanding waistlines are putting children at … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Bar Codes

‘WE may be wrong. It might just be that thousands of us flock to buy the Government’s voluntary ID card. ‘If yer finger’s not down, yer not coming in’ … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Identity Crisis

‘THE Government’s plan to introduce ID cards on a voluntary basis and then make them compulsory at a later date is being reassessed. The usual suspects … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


No Man Is A City

‘THESE are heady times for Preston. The Lancashire spot was once best known for its tired football team, still more tired snooker tournaments, for being the kind of place that … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


War Balls

‘THERE’S not long to go before the World Cup gets underway in Germany, and the papers are desperate to avoid any mention of the war. He’s got the whole world … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Skulls & Crossed Bones

‘JUST time to tell you that “pop weirdo” and reality TV celebrity Peter Burns is getting married. Love me, love my skull … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


One Love

‘IT’S the kind of story that shines a painfully bright light on what life is like in modern Britain. The sudden arrival of his mum made Lee realise why it … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Inflaming Passions

‘MORE Nazi-tendentiousness in action now as the Sun reports on how “We’ll fight them on the terraces”.“We”, for the purposes of the article, are England football fans, and we are … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Local Hero

‘SAM Allardyce for England! Yeah, if you want the team to be twinned with Royston Vasey, home to the League of Gentlemen. Sam and Sven – the dream team … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment