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Comic Book Heroes

‘TRYING to make sense of the outrage sparked by a series of pretty dreadful heavy-handed cartoons originally published in a Danish newspaper is occupying the Telegraph’s mind. ‘So, I says … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

The Price Is Right

‘PSST! Wanna buy a Jordan. What about two of them? A pair of Jordans? They could be yours for the right price.The Sun says that Katie Andre plans to flog … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Face Ache

‘SAY what you like about Coronation Street’s Sally Lindsay… Go on, say what you like. No, not you, Her Poshness, Victoria Beckham.The Sun says that Lindsay has launched an “astonishing … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Youth Hostelries

‘GIVEN that the pub’s chilled cabinet is stocked with sickly day-glo drinks designed to be drunk ice cold straight from the bottle, the Mail’s news that under-18s can buy alcohol … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pen & Ink

‘THE move by a Danish newspaper to publish caricatures of the prophet Muhammad has led to protests in several Muslim countries, and a boycott of Danish goods.Forgoing the joys of … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Norway Out

‘BARELY a year goes past without someone from Oslo writing in and asking, “Why-oh-why don’t you feature more stories on Norway?” ‘I went to London and all I got was … (read more)

Posted: 1st, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Dolly Di

‘SHE’S alive! Oh, Heaven be praised! The Princess of all our hearts is among us once again. ‘You can never be too thin’ … (read more)

Posted: 1st, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

This Is War

‘WHATEVER the rights and wrongs of the war in Iraq, the news that the 100th British soldier has died over there is grim.Rather than solely focusing on this latest victim … (read more)

Posted: 1st, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Moss Rolls In

‘STAY indoors. Draw the curtains. Lock the doors and bar the windows. If you must venture out, only make journeys if they are absolutely necessary. Kate Moss is back! ‘Am … (read more)

Posted: 1st, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Paying The Price

‘WHAT does university mean to you? A chance, as English dandy Max Beerbohm put it, to gently put back the nonsense which was knocked out of you at school?Is it … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Hitler & Miss

‘WITH just a few months to go before the World Cup kicks off in Germany, the papers are limbering up.For you, little Englander, ze phoney var ist only just beginning. … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fur Tree

‘“I WAS terrified of him at first. He was this huge camp queen, with all the hair and make-up. But he has a very funny wit.” Not to mention … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Doing Bird

‘IN the ongoing war with the birds, it would be easy to brand Janice and George Cope traitors. But the Mail, which for weeks has been delivering chilling warnings about … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Not So Fair Coppers

‘HANDS up who wants to join the Gloucestershire Constabulary. No need to put both hands up, just the one will do.Sadly, there are just 192 vacancies, and with 301 applicants … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Shaking With Excitement

‘A VICTORY for the terrorist group Hamas in Palestinian politics? The outing of a leading Liberal Democrat politician? The FA’s decision to name Sven Goran Eriksson’s successor before the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Milk Snatchers

‘TAP! Tap! Tap! That’s the sound of those bureaucrats at the EU chipping away at our British way of life. It’s the creme fraiche man? … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Boom! Boom!

”WHEN they hear me squeak they think it’s a mouse and look up,’ says Bruce Lindsay-Smith. ‘That’s when I shoot them in the head.’ Somewhere in Hampstead… … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Behind You!

‘BEHIND you! No, not you. Pete Burns. That monkey jacket had us in mind of a pantomime character, a gorilla-Widow Twanky chimera. Behind you! … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Celebrity Do Little

”I SOLD flowers. I didn’t sell myself. Now you’ve made a lady of me I’m not fit to sell anything else’ – Eliza Dolittle (Pygmalion).For flowers, read buds, as the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

George & The Whale

‘WAS the whale that swam up the Thames into the heart of London a portent of doom? Was Wally/Willy/Whaley trying to tell us something? If she was, Neptune should have … (read more)

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Three’s A Crowd

‘THE seventh Golden Rule of Hollywood clearly states, and we quote: “Whenever Jennifer Aniston is mentioned there must be mention made of her ex-husband Brad Pitt. A picture of Jen … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Red Or Dead

‘WE are not worthy. But no matter – pop singer Bono is more worthy than the rest of us put together. In his mission to save the world in pink-tinted … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Big C Yer

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.A selection of things that will kill you and yours from this week’s paper…“BLUNDERING DOCTOR GAVE BREAST CANCER VICTIMS THE ALL-CLEAR” … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Arch Villains

‘IT sounds not too unlike the sale of London Bridge to the American entrepreneur Robert P. McCulloch (he was under the mistaken belief that he was buying Tower Bridge, though … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

The Bum’s Rushes

‘ASK any teenage boy or computer game enthusiast living with his folks and he’ll tell you that the best scene in Pretty Woman is the opening one where Julia Roberts … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

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