Anorak

- Author Archive

Acting Up

‘HOORAY for Hollywood. The mere mention of the word Oscars banished bird flu, Islamic nutters and MRSA from the news pages. Such is the power of cinema. One lump … (read more)

Posted: 13th, March 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Tough Love

‘“I ‘LOVE’ Kate 4 eva.” The spelling is not flawless, but this is Pete Doherty, and his message, scrawled in black marker pen on the window of his gold Jaguar, … (read more)

Posted: 10th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Birds Against God

‘“AND he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, … (read more)

Posted: 10th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Brand Beckham

‘IS there anything we don’t know about Posh and Becks? We’ve seen them at work, at play, in the back seat of a car and read thrilling insights into their … (read more)

Posted: 10th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Bad Karma

‘COMPLETING our courtroom round up, the Sun spots “DOPEY GEORGE” in New York. Boy George denies applying make-up while driving … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Check Your Mirrors

‘SEE the learner driver with his hands, white at the knuckles, stuck fast to the wheel in the “ten-to-two” position. Read Anorak on your mobile … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Question Times

‘AT the last census in 2001, seven people in every thousand in England and Wales gave their religion as ‘Jedi’ in the box marked ‘any other religion’. Are you Michael … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Week Minded

‘“WHAT sort of question is that to ask on a Tuesday morning?” asks Pete Doherty as he leaves Thames Magistrates’ Court in Central London. Wednesday’s child is full of woe … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Term Time

‘PARENTS planning a family holiday should factor in the cost of the new holiday tax which fines mums and dads for taking their children out of class in term time. … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Baa Humbug

‘WELCOME, bienvenido, foon ying, witajcie and much else besides to our new feature on political correctness going mad. ‘Any more like you at home?’ … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Heading For A Fall

‘CAN you trust a bird? What about something as flat and ordinary as a pigeon? Fighting dirty … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Thong Debate

‘MANY voices have spoken on the great thong debate, but few have really understood the issue and made it their own. The apple-catchers of Wayne’s eye … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Posh Pushes

‘WELCOME to Celebrity Birthing Partners, the show that pairs famous birth virgins with star mums. ‘Try not to see it as giving birth, but as losing weight,’ says Posh … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Friends In High Places

‘MODEL booker Gavin Maselle’s incredible tales of models taking drugs and having parties have reached the highest echelons of power. Pete Doherty … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Media Monitor

‘CAN looking at the internet, and engaging in its associated activities, make you go blind? Or what about making your eyes go square? Taylor – a warning from history … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Crimes Against Fashion

‘“AND the Oscar for Breast Supported Actress goes to…” So says the Mirror as it shows us that when it comes to leering at women in dresses, it can hold … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Fried Egg

‘ALL this talk of dresses puts us in the mood for news of Kate Moss, one of the world’s premier wearer’s of dresses and, indeed, many other kinds of clothes. … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


All That Glitters

‘THE bad news is that the goldfinch population is on the rise. Britain’s songbird contingent has plummeted by 40 per cent in recent decades but now the numbers are growing.These … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Movers & Shakers

‘THE British were coming. But they were late. When the redtops did arrive at the Oscars, the prizes had been dished out, the gushing speeches made and the cleaners were … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Mr Al-Qaeda

‘HOW we love celebrity. While the trials of OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson filled the newssheets, Zacarias Moussaoui’s moment in court is no big deal, a footnote to come after … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Ho Ho Jose

‘IF you can gauge your success by the calibre of your enemies, Joe Mourinho is either very successful (fans loyal to the mighty Barcelona hate him) or languishing in the … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Pet Hates

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.A selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…MONDAYCannabis might turn you into a … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Chanel Changer

‘KEIRA Knightly might have failed to win the best actress Oscar, but she is in line to star as the new face of Chanel. And that means taking over from … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Behind Bars

‘“YOU have the right to remain silent. You have the right to scream your head off and vomit when I push you into the van. You have the right to … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


A Perfect 10

‘WHEN Victoria Beckham opens her mouth, small children believe they can make it as pop stars and dogs come to heel. But Vicky is not singing. Today, Vicky is talking. … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment