TV & Radio Category
Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.
This is just brilliant. Listeners to the BBC World Service’s World Have Your Say show were introduced to Godfrey Elfwick, a student from Sheffield talking about the lastest Star Wars franchise, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Awakens. Godfrey says the character “Dark Raider” is “racial stereotype”.
Godfrey Elfwick is a work of parody. Having said on twitter that he’d never seen Star Wars, the BBC got in touch:
Did Angela do any research? If she did, she must have missed Godfrey’s other tweets, like these:
Godfrey pricked the knowing liberal bubble with a skewer:
Brilliant. Just brilliant…
(PS: is he the only work of parody in that clip?)
That’s NOT Entertainment!
For some time now our happy island nation has, slowly but surely, been invaded by an uninvited and unwelcome breed.
This is nothing to do with immigration, asylum-seekers, refugees, the EU or any of the other supposed threats that exercise the newspapers at election time.
No, this is an insidious invasion that has targeted our TV screens, and in particular the advertisements, ‘trails’ and promotional montages that seem to take up as much time as the programmes they punctuate…
The invaders are instantly recognizable by their distinctive singing style: breathy, slightly flat, sometimes with an ‘emotive’ crack in the voice. Their songs are, variously: drippy, dippy, dull and dreary. They are invariably accompanied by willfully amateurish acoustic guitar. This formula is used to advertise everything from white goods to Barclays’ revolting ‘thank you’ to ‘real football fans’.
These two numbnuts are a cautionary tale about what you sound like when stoned.
Spotter: Death And Taxes
Japan has given us some of the world’s weirdest games shows. But it’s excelled itself with Sing What Happens, the show where male contestants try to sing karaoke whilst a presenter gives them a hand job.
Will you fluff your lines as the fluffer works your metronome? Will you hit the high notes as well as the low ones?
Your turn is over when you ejaculate.
Hold on your Top Gear hair it’s going to be bumpy ride as we look at Top Gear erotic fan fiction. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are away…
This is from a work entitled Clutch:
“At first he thought the taut muscles and slender hips belonged to a girl. But, aroused, he strode closer and recognised the unmistakable frame of his friend Jeremy.”
Farewell, James Best, famous for playing Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane on the brilliant The Dukes of Hazzard. You and Flash made afternoon telly great.
It takes a lot of strapping to turn Peter Dinklage into Games of Thrones’ hero Tyrion Lannister.
Peter, a buxom 32D, is rarely seen as nature intended to let his acting do the talking.
Robert Durst has been charged with the murder of Susan Berman in 2000 Durst is suspected of murdering two more people: his first wife Kathie in 1982 and Morris Black.
USA Today reports that if found guilty of first-degree murder, Durst could face the death penalty.
Durst, a scion of one an America’s big property dynasty worth over $4bn, says he’s innocent. (His own weath is estiamted at $100m.)
But he seems to have confessed on camera in Andrew Jarecki’s HBO’s six-part documentary The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst.
On the final show, Durst is shown an envelope addressed to Miss Berman. The lettering is in Mr Durst’s own handwriting – and it looks very much like the block capital lettering on an anonymous letter sent to Beverly Hills police pointing to a “cadaver” in Miss Berman’s home. That body was Miss Berman. On both letters “Beverly” is misspelled “Beverley”.
Durst suggests that the writer of the first letter must have been Berman’s killer.
Has the TV nailed its star?
Durst starts burping. He then heads to the toilets. The microphone is still on as Robert Durst, 71, mutters: “What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course… There it is. You’re caught.”
Durst maintains his innocence.
Durst might well be confident of securing an acquittal. As the Times notes:
After Miss Berman’s death, Mr Durst moved to Texas, where he lived in a boarding house masquerading as a mute woman. In 2003 he was put on trial for murder after dismembered body parts belonging to his elderly friend and neighbour, Morris Black, were found floating in Galveston Bay.
Mr Lewis told the jury that Mr Durst admitted to shooting Mr Black, and to using a paring knife, two saws and an axe to dismember his body before dumping the remains.
The lawyer argued however that the killing had been in self-defence and that his client had Asperger’s syndrome. Mr Durst was acquitted of murder.
He served three years for bond-jumping and evidence-tampering.
And here’s the other interesting thing. That allegedly incriminating audio was recorded in 2013. Why didn’t HBO tell the police back then? Well, they claim they didn’t notice until an intern was editing the footage for broadcast.
Mr Jarecki tells ABC News:
“I sat there in the edit room with my partners, and we just sort of shook our heads and it took a while to really understand the impact of it. It was so chilling to hear it.”
Which makes us wonder what would have happened had Durst died before the show aired? What if God had beaten HBO to the punchline? What if the jinx had struck again? What then for justice as entertainment?
So. Why are panda bears endangered? Here’s why:
Are you a Young Conservative? I said, “ARE YOU A YOUNG CONSERVATIVE?”
Still the greatest ever TV caption.
Madonna accuses BBC Radio 1 of “discriminatory and unfair” behaviour for failing to play her latest song, Living For Love. The song failed to make the station’s playlist, which dictates its most-played songs. The BBC says this had led to “accusations of ageism from the 56-year-old’s fans”.
Radio 1 says songs are selected on “musical merit and their relevance to our young audience on a case-by-case basis”.
And who is the maven of what the young, go-ahead audience wants?
Radio 1’s 49-year-old head of music, George Ergatoudis, said the station had “moved on” from her music.
As David Hepworth tweets:
I was embarrassed about being 31 when I edited Smash Hits. I see the head of the Radio One playlist committee is 49!
Radio 1 reaches 12 million listeners a week, including 42% of all 15- to 24-year-olds (and their dads).
Fans of Breaking Bad like to re-enact the scene from the Caballo Sin Nombre episode that features Walter White flipping a pizza on to the roof of his house. That house is a home in New Mexico. And Vince Gilligan, the show’s creator, says the homeowner isn’t too chuffed with cold, rotting dead pizzas on her roof.
“There is nothing original or funny or cool about throwing a pizza on this lady’s roof. It’s just not funny, it’s been done before. You are not the first. We love our fans; I don’t love those fans. I don’t even consider them fans, I consider them jagoffs.”
Ah. You’ve just given them a group name, Vince. Now they’re a tribe. And the kind of witless loser who tossers a pizza onto a roof in a tribute to a TV show is the kind of fool who buys a ‘I’m A JAGOFF’ T-shirt to go with his Billy The Bass Fish and ability to recite entire passages from Spinal Tap.
ON BBC radio, John Inversdale is at the Cheltenham horse racing festival talking about his rose-c**ted glasses:
Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is on gardening leave. He’s been suspended by the BBC “following a fracas” with a producer. Yes, a fracas. Not a brouhaha. Not a kerfuffle. And most certainly neither an imbroglio nor a tawdry hullabloo.
Last year Clarkson was given a warning when he appeared to say “nigger” while filming. It’s something he denies.
The full BBC statement runs:
“Following a fracas with a BBC producer, Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended pending an investigation. No one else has been suspended.”
The BBC seem to realise that without Clarkson, Top Gear is an expensively priced lame duck. Richard Hammond and James May, Clarkson’s sidekicks, nay his abettors, are free to work but the show will not be broadcast this Sunday.
Taxi for three…
The dire Channel 4 drama about the UK Independence Party, UKIP, the first 100 days, never did find someone to murder Nigel Farage, as Channel 4 once fantacised about the killing of George Bush. Maybe they’re saving that for the sequel?
Shouting at the telly might be a good thing. Samsung says its smart televisions with a ‘voice” function are listening.
“If your spoken words include personal or other sensitive information, that information will be among the data captured and transmitted to a third party.”
FOOTBALL fans who don’t look at the Premier League goals on Twitter or streamed matches over the web, can delight in the news that BBC has retained the rights to show Premier League highlights on Saturday nights.
On the Daily Mirror, Alex Richards reports:
Match of the Day will remain on our screens for three more years after the BBC retained the rights to Premier League highlights in a deal worth £204million. That is a 15 percent rise on the last rights deal – which cost the BBC £179.7million – despite no bid from ITV, who had been expected to provide competition.
Or as the Daily Mirror says: “The corporation saw off ITV with a £204million bid…”
Also, The BBC owns the rights to Match of the Day. It owns the title. No bid required.
Such are the facts…
Such are the facts…
Men dancing is often a cause of confusion, bemusement and shame. Your writer used to opt for the crowd move, wherebye you wait for the dancefloor at the wedding or Bar Mitzvah to fill before heading into its centre. The human shield makes dancing almost enjoyable. But I say used to do because when the song changes and enough people leave the floor, and you’ve not noticed, you can end up as the only dancer to Animal Nightlife’s Mr Solitaire.
To avoid the pain you need a set manly dance anyone can do. So. Here are two Swedish gentlemen demonstrating ‘The Bear Dance’. The soothing background music only adds to the wonder:
BBC Worldwide is looking to launch BBC Brit.
What will it be about? What is being a Brit?
Well the channel was launched with a ten-meter statue of Top Gear racing driver ‘The Stig’ stood in front of the Palace of Culture and Science in Warsaw, Poland. The statue arrived in Poland after a three-day road trip through Europe via Amsterdam and Berlin.
BBC Brit will be “the most interesting conversation in the bar”. Which bar? And is it one anyone sane would want to visit twice?
You don’t need to be drunk to watch BBC Brit, but it could help with the enjoyment of wall-to-wall Top Gear.
And why not just broadcast an interesting conversation at the bar, darts, cribbage, juke box sounds and snooker heraleded by men in jumpers and an order for 81 pints? Why not just bring back the Indoor League? How about a show featuring men quoting the ‘funny’ bits from funny telly shows?
If you think those are crap ideas, you need to read this breifing document:
The Indy hears from an anonymous independent producer who “despairs at the BBC brand being tarnished by this god-awful s**t-stain”.
It’s worse than BBC Ukip – it’s what a Guardian reading BBC exec thinks people in Ukip want.. It’s essentially the Top Gear channel.
Celebrity Big Brother is making news in the tabloids. In the Sun and Star (now the only paper for topless stunnas - watch those readership figures soar!). Both papers have a league table of how the housemates are getting along.
The top two spots in the Sun’s list are occupied by Sun columnist Katie Hopkins (“bloody hilarious” and “no longer heartless”) and Sun columnist Katie Price.
Over in the Star, the Number 1 hosuemate is “laugh-a-minute” Keith Chegwin, who in the Sun‘ is “starting to crack” and “needs to crack a few more jokes”. Chegwin was once the hsot of Naked Jungle, the the Channel 5 “gameshow for naturists”. That was when Channel 5 was owned By Richard Desmond, who also, er, owns the Daily Star.
Such are the facts…
Big Brother should come with an “Approved by the Ministry for Morals” sticker. The good get to win; the bad get to lose. The bigots are shunned and mocked; the enlightened get loved and panto.
This series has seen the back of Jermy Jackson (who he?) for alleged groping; Ken Morley for alleged racism; and now Alexander O’Neal for alleged homnphobia, his crime calling the immensley dislikable Perez Hilton a ‘f*****’. That’s ‘faggot’ in Sun-speak, the paper also telling us that Morley used the “N-word”, which turns out not to be ‘nigger’ but ‘negro’
Live on Sky News we have free speech campaigner Caroline Fourest. She’s astounded that Sky won’t show the subject of their story: the cover of Charlie Hebdo.
So. She holds up the copy. And the camera recoils:
Even the BBC weren’t that cowardly…
PS – if you squint you make out copies of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, Lady Chatterley’s Lover and all of these songs on the shelves.
Racism. It’s big news. The Daily Mirror leads with it. No. not the top story about Islamists murdering Jews in Paris.
That story is that Hayat Boumeddiene was filmed at Istanbul Airport as she headed to Syria.
Turkey’s Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu said today that Boumeddiene arrived at an Istanbul airport on January 2 via Madrid.
That would mean she was not in Paris when 17 people were murdered. Ahemdy Coulibaly was in Paris. He murdered four people when he “raided a Jewish supermarket”. No use of the word ‘racism’ in that story in what was clearly an anti-Semitic attack. No mention of the phrase ‘anti-Semitism’, either. Race was not an issue. Fact!
No, the Mirror’s story on racism is about Celebrity Big Brother.
Celebrity Big Brother got rid of Jeremy Jackson for “allegedly trying to grope Chloe Goodman in the house loo”. And like you we have no idea who is is, either. Big Brother has now expelled Ken Morley. Why?
It was for ‘offensive language’?
Fox News gaffe-master Steve Emerson says sorry to the people of the Birmingham (now twinned with Mecca)
So. We saw the Fox News terrorism expert Steve Emerson explain to one and all that Birmingham UK is a no-go area for non Muslims.
On his blog, you can view his video on an article called ‘Emerson on Fox with Judge Pirro on How the US is Manipulating the Truth on Radical Islam’.
Emerson is in the business of terror:
He serves as the Executive Director of The Investigative Project on Terrorism…
He and his organization have been quoted or profiled in hundreds of newspaper and television stories since 9-11.
He’s now issued a correction:
Next up on Fox, global jihad expert Bill Wyman on Charlie Hebdo #jewsuisunrockstar.