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Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Star Wars hilarity: listen to Sheffield student Godfrey Elfwick troll the BBC

This is just brilliant. Listeners to the BBC World Service’s World Have Your Say show were introduced to Godfrey Elfwick, a student from Sheffield talking about the lastest Star Wars franchise, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Awakens. Godfrey says the character “Dark Raider” is “racial stereotype”.

 

Screen shot 2015-04-20 at 21.32.09

 

Godfrey Elfwick is a work of parody. Having said on twitter that he’d never seen Star Wars, the BBC got in touch:

Did Angela do any research? If she did, she must have missed Godfrey’s other tweets, like these:

 

Godfrey Elfwick Godfrey Elfwick Godfrey Elfwick

Screen shot 2015-04-20 at 21.22.41

 

Godfrey pricked the knowing liberal bubble with a skewer:

 

 

Brilliant. Just brilliant…

(PS: is he the only work of parody in that clip?)

 

Posted: 20th, April 2015 | In: Film, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


That’s (not) Entertainment: how TV killed The Jam

the-jam-thats-entertainment

 

That’s NOT Entertainment!

For some time now our happy island nation has, slowly but surely, been invaded by an uninvited and unwelcome breed.

This is nothing to do with immigration, asylum-seekers, refugees, the EU or any of the other supposed threats that exercise the newspapers at election time.

No, this is an insidious invasion that has targeted our TV screens, and in particular the advertisements, ‘trails’ and promotional montages that seem to take up as much time as the programmes they punctuate…

The invaders are instantly recognizable by their distinctive singing style: breathy, slightly flat, sometimes with an ‘emotive’ crack in the voice. Their songs are, variously: drippy, dippy, dull and dreary. They are invariably accompanied by willfully amateurish acoustic guitar. This formula is used to advertise everything from white goods to Barclays’ revolting ‘thank you’ to ‘real football fans’.

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Posted: 20th, April 2015 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch two teenagers teach you how to smoke marijuana in 1997

marijuana video 1997

 

These two numbnuts are a cautionary tale about what you sound like when stoned.

 

 

Spotter: Death And Taxes

Posted: 16th, April 2015 | In: marijuana, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch Sing When It Happens: The Japanese Karaoke Game Show Where You Get A Hand Job Whilst Singing

hand job karaoke

‘Mistletoe and wine…”

 

Japan has given us some of the world’s weirdest games shows. But it’s excelled itself with Sing What Happens, the show where male contestants try to sing karaoke whilst a presenter gives them a hand job.

Will you fluff your lines as the fluffer works your metronome?  Will you hit the high notes as well as the low ones?

Your turn is over when you ejaculate.

Cue Nirvana:

 


Spotter:Dangerous Minds

Posted: 16th, April 2015 | In: NSFW, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pony power: highlights of Top Gear erotica fan fiction

Top gear erotic

 

Hold on your Top Gear hair it’s going to be bumpy ride as we look at Top Gear erotic fan fiction. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are away…

This is from a work entitled Clutch:

 

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Vroom!

“At first he thought the taut muscles and slender hips belonged to a girl. But, aroused, he strode closer and recognised the unmistakable frame of his friend Jeremy.”

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Posted: 9th, April 2015 | In: Books, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


RIP James Best: watch the best bits of Dukes Of Hazard’s Sheriff Rosco P Coltrane

tor James Best played Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, a bumbling underling of Jefferson Davis "Boss" Hogg, Hazzard County's corrupt county commissioner. Rosco's dog Flash was played by a basset hound named Sand

tor James Best played Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, a bumbling underling of Jefferson Davis “Boss” Hogg, Hazzard County’s corrupt county commissioner. Rosco’s dog Flash was played by a basset hound named Sand

 

Farewell, James Best, famous for playing Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane on the brilliant The Dukes of Hazzard. You and Flash made afternoon telly great.

Posted: 7th, April 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Peter Dinklage the sex symbol: Tyron Lannister is a busty Cosplay star

Tyrion Lannister

 

It takes a lot of strapping to turn Peter Dinklage into Games of Thrones’ hero Tyrion Lannister.

Peter, a buxom 32D, is rarely seen as nature intended to let his acting do the talking.

 

Tyrion Lannister Tyrion Lannister

Spotter: Geekologie

Posted: 3rd, April 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Robert Durst: the race against death for a killer TV finale

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Robert Durst has been charged with the murder of  Susan Berman in 2000  Durst is suspected of murdering two more people:  his first wife Kathie in 1982 and Morris Black.

USA Today reports that if found guilty of first-degree murder, Durst could face the death penalty.

Durst, a scion of one an America’s big property dynasty worth over $4bn, says he’s innocent. (His own weath is estiamted at $100m.)

But he seems to have confessed on camera in Andrew Jarecki’s HBO’s six-part documentary The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst.

On the final show, Durst is shown an envelope addressed to Miss Berman. The lettering is in Mr Durst’s own handwriting – and it looks very much like the block capital lettering on an anonymous letter sent to Beverly Hills police pointing to a “cadaver” in Miss Berman’s home. That body was Miss Berman. On both letters “Beverly” is misspelled “Beverley”.

Durst suggests that the writer of the first letter must have been Berman’s killer.

Has the TV nailed its star?

Durst starts burping. He then heads to the toilets. The microphone is still on as Robert Durst, 71, mutters: “What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course… There it is. You’re caught.”

Durst maintains his innocence.

 

GALVESTON, TX - NOVEMBER 10: Millionaire murder defendant Robert Durst (C) sits in State District Judge Susan Criss court with his attorney Dick DeGuerin (R) November 10, 2003 at the Galveston County Courthouse in Galveston, Texas. Durst is being charged for the murder and mutilation of his neighbor Morris Black. (Photo by James Nielsen/ Getty Images)

GALVESTON, TX – NOVEMBER 10: Millionaire murder defendant Robert Durst (C) sits in State District Judge Susan Criss court with his attorney Dick DeGuerin (R) November 10, 2003 at the Galveston County Courthouse in Galveston, Texas. Durst is being charged for the murder and mutilation of his neighbor Morris Black. (Photo by James Nielsen/ Getty Images)

 

Durst might well be confident of securing an acquittal. As the Times notes:

After Miss Berman’s death, Mr Durst moved to Texas, where he lived in a boarding house masquerading as a mute woman. In 2003 he was put on trial for murder after dismembered body parts belonging to his elderly friend and neighbour, Morris Black, were found floating in Galveston Bay.

Mr Lewis told the jury that Mr Durst admitted to shooting Mr Black, and to using a paring knife, two saws and an axe to dismember his body before dumping the remains.

The lawyer argued however that the killing had been in self-defence and that his client had Asperger’s syndrome. Mr Durst was acquitted of murder.

He served three years for bond-jumping and evidence-tampering.

And here’s the other interesting thing. That allegedly incriminating audio was recorded in 2013. Why didn’t HBO tell the police back then? Well, they claim they didn’t notice until an intern was editing the footage for broadcast.

Mr Jarecki tells ABC News:

“I sat there in the edit room with my partners, and we just sort of shook our heads and it took a while to really understand the impact of it. It was so chilling to hear it.”

Which makes us wonder what would have happened had Durst died before the show aired? What if God had beaten HBO to the punchline? What if the jinx had struck again? What then for justice as entertainment?

 

Posted: 29th, March 2015 | In: News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why panda bears are endangered (video)

So. Why are panda bears endangered? Here’s why:

SDpotter: @MichaelMoran

Posted: 27th, March 2015 | In: Anorak TV, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The greatest ever TV caption: at home with the Young Conservative

Conservative party funny TV caption

Are you a Young Conservative? I said, “ARE YOU A YOUNG CONSERVATIVE?”

Still the greatest ever TV caption.

Spotter: @MichaelPDeacon

Posted: 14th, March 2015 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madonna accuses BBC Radio 1’s 49-year-old music chief of ageism

Madonna ageism BBC

Madonna accuses BBC Radio 1 of “discriminatory and unfair” behaviour for failing to play her latest song, Living For Love. The song failed to make the station’s playlist, which dictates its most-played songs. The BBC says this had led to “accusations of ageism from the 56-year-old’s fans”.

Radio 1 says songs are selected on “musical merit and their relevance to our young audience on a case-by-case basis”.

And who is the maven of what the young, go-ahead audience wants?

Radio 1’s 49-year-old head of music, George Ergatoudis, said the station had “moved on” from her music.

As David Hepworth tweets:

I was embarrassed about being 31 when I edited Smash Hits. I see the head of the Radio One playlist committee is 49!

Radio 1 reaches 12 million listeners a week, including 42% of all 15- to 24-year-olds (and their dads).

Posted: 12th, March 2015 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Vince Gilligan says: stop tossing pizzas on the Breaking Bad House

BreakingBadPizza jagoff

Fans of Breaking Bad like to re-enact the scene from the Caballo Sin Nombre episode that features Walter White flipping a pizza on to the roof of his house. That house is a home in New Mexico. And Vince Gilligan, the show’s creator, says the homeowner isn’t too chuffed with cold, rotting dead pizzas on her roof.

He says:

“There is nothing original or funny or cool about throwing a pizza on this lady’s roof. It’s just not funny, it’s been done before. You are not the first. We love our fans; I don’t love those fans. I don’t even consider them fans, I consider them jagoffs.”

Jagoffs.

Ah. You’ve just given them a group name, Vince. Now they’re a tribe. And the kind of witless loser who tossers a pizza onto a roof in a tribute to a TV show is the kind of fool who buys a ‘I’m A JAGOFF’ T-shirt to go with his Billy The Bass Fish and ability to recite entire passages from Spinal Tap.

Posted: 11th, March 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Listen to BBC presenter John Inverdale discuss rose-c**ed glasses: radio fail

ON BBC radio, John Inversdale is at the Cheltenham horse racing festival talking about his rose-c**ted glasses:

 

Posted: 11th, March 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jeremy Clarkson suspended over fracas following hullabloo, brouhaha and imbroglio

A resonably priced fracas

A resonably priced fracas

 

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson is on gardening leave. He’s been suspended by the BBC “following a fracas” with a producer. Yes, a fracas. Not a brouhaha. Not a kerfuffle. And most certainly neither an imbroglio nor a tawdry hullabloo.

Last year Clarkson was given a warning when he appeared to say “nigger” while filming. It’s something he denies.

The full BBC statement runs:

“Following a fracas with a BBC producer, Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended pending an investigation. No one else has been suspended.”

The BBC seem to realise that without Clarkson, Top Gear is an expensively priced lame duck. Richard Hammond and James May, Clarkson’s sidekicks, nay his abettors, are free to work but the show will not be broadcast this Sunday.

Taxi for three…

Posted: 10th, March 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Channel 4: in 100 days all Nazi Jews will support UKIP

israel UKIP

 

The dire Channel 4 drama about the UK Independence Party, UKIP, the first 100 days, never did find someone to murder Nigel Farage, as Channel 4 once fantacised about the killing of George Bush. Maybe they’re saving that for the sequel?

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Posted: 19th, February 2015 | In: News, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Remote control: Samsung TVs are spying on you

Shouting at the telly might be a good thing. Samsung says its smart televisions with a ‘voice” function are listening.

Samsung warns:

 “If your spoken words include personal or other sensitive information, that information will be among the data captured and transmitted to a third party.”

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Posted: 9th, February 2015 | In: Technology, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How BBC kept Match of the Day from ITV’s clutches

FOOTBALL fans who don’t look at the Premier League goals on Twitter or streamed matches over the web, can delight in the news that BBC has retained the rights to show Premier League highlights on Saturday nights.

On the Daily Mirror, Alex Richards reports:

Match of the Day will remain on our screens for three more years after the BBC retained the rights to Premier League highlights in a deal worth £204million. That is a 15 percent rise on the last rights deal – which cost the BBC £179.7million – despite no bid from ITV, who had been expected to provide competition.

Or as the Daily Mirror says: “The corporation saw off ITV with a £204million bid…”

 

match of the day daily mirror

 

Also, The BBC owns the rights to Match of the Day. It owns the title. No bid required.

Such are the facts…

Such are the facts…

 

Posted: 2nd, February 2015 | In: Sports, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


White man can dance: Swedish men demonstrate the bear dance

Men dancing is often a cause of confusion, bemusement and shame. Your writer used to opt for the crowd move, wherebye you wait for the dancefloor at the wedding or Bar Mitzvah to fill before heading into its centre. The human shield makes dancing almost enjoyable. But I say used to do because when the song changes and enough people leave the floor, and you’ve not noticed, you can end up as the only dancer to Animal Nightlife’s Mr Solitaire.

To avoid the pain you need a set manly dance anyone can do. So. Here are two Swedish gentlemen demonstrating ‘The Bear Dance’. The  soothing background music only adds to the wonder:

 

Posted: 2nd, February 2015 | In: Anorak TV, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


BBC Brit: The TV channel for pub bores

BBC Worldwide is looking to launch BBC Brit.

What will it be about? What is being a Brit?

 

PA-22087689

 

Well the channel was launched with a ten-meter statue of Top Gear racing driver ‘The Stig’ stood in front of the Palace of Culture and Science in Warsaw, Poland. The statue arrived in Poland after a three-day road trip through Europe via Amsterdam and Berlin.

BBC Brit will be “the most interesting conversation in the bar”. Which bar? And is it one anyone sane would want to visit twice?

You don’t need to be drunk to watch BBC Brit, but it could help with the enjoyment of wall-to-wall Top Gear.

And why not just broadcast an interesting conversation at the bar, darts, cribbage, juke box sounds and snooker heraleded by men in jumpers and an order for 81 pints? Why not just bring back the Indoor League? How about a show featuring men quoting the ‘funny’ bits from funny telly shows?

If you think those are crap ideas,  you need to read this breifing document:

 

bbc brit

 

 

The Indy hears from an anonymous independent producer who “despairs at the BBC brand being tarnished by this god-awful s**t-stain”.

It’s worse than BBC Ukip – it’s what a Guardian reading BBC exec thinks people in Ukip want.. It’s essentially the Top Gear channel.

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Posted: 30th, January 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Big Brother: The Sun’s Katie Hopkins gets naked on Chegwin’s Channel 5

Celebrity Big Brother is making news in the tabloids. In the Sun and Star (now the only paper for topless stunnas - watch those readership figures soar!). Both papers have a league table of how the housemates are getting along.

 

 

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The top two spots in the Sun’s list are occupied by Sun columnist Katie Hopkins (“bloody hilarious” and “no longer heartless”) and Sun columnist Katie Price.

 

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Over in the Star, the Number 1 hosuemate is “laugh-a-minute” Keith Chegwin, who in the Sun‘ is “starting to crack” and “needs to crack a few more jokes”. Chegwin was once the hsot of Naked Jungle, the the Channel 5 “gameshow for naturists”. That was when Channel 5 was owned By Richard Desmond, who also, er, owns the Daily Star.

Such are the facts…

Posted: 20th, January 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Big Brother is TV’s moral compliance show: only the most intolerant survive

big bro

 

Big Brother should come with an “Approved by the Ministry for Morals” sticker. The good get to win; the bad get to lose. The bigots are shunned and mocked; the enlightened get loved and panto.

This series has seen the back of Jermy Jackson (who he?) for alleged groping; Ken Morley for alleged racism; and now Alexander O’Neal for alleged homnphobia, his crime calling the immensley dislikable Perez Hilton a ‘f*****’. That’s ‘faggot’ in Sun-speak, the paper also telling us that Morley used the “N-word”, which turns out not to be ‘nigger’ but ‘negro’

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Posted: 19th, January 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Free Speech: Sky News recoils in face of Charlie Hebdo cover

Live on Sky News we have free speech campaigner Caroline Fourest. She’s astounded that Sky won’t show the subject of their story: the cover of Charlie Hebdo.

So. She holds up the copy. And the camera recoils:

Even the BBC weren’t that cowardly…

PS – if you squint you make out copies of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, Lady Chatterley’s Lover and all of these songs on the shelves.

Posted: 15th, January 2015 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother racism: Ken Morley needs to get cancer and jihad if he wants to be an anti-racist

Racism. It’s big news. The Daily Mirror leads with it. No. not the top story about Islamists murdering Jews in Paris.

That story is that Hayat Boumeddiene was filmed at Istanbul Airport as she headed to Syria.

Turkey’s Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu said today that Boumeddiene arrived at an Istanbul airport on January 2 via Madrid.

That would mean she was not in Paris when 17 people were murdered. Ahemdy Coulibaly was in Paris. He murdered four people when he “raided a Jewish supermarket”. No use of the word ‘racism’ in that story in what was clearly an anti-Semitic attack. No mention of the phrase ‘anti-Semitism’, either. Race was not an issue. Fact!

No, the Mirror’s story on racism is about Celebrity Big Brother.

 

 

Screen shot 2015-01-13 at 09.32.51

 

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Posted: 13th, January 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother: ‘pervy’ Ken Morley never did call anyone ‘Chalky’ nor appear on Television X

Celebrity Big Brother got rid of Jeremy Jackson for “allegedly trying to grope Chloe Goodman in the house loo”. And like you we have no idea who is is, either. Big Brother has now expelled Ken Morley. Why?

 

 

Screen shot 2015-01-12 at 16.36.19

 

 

It was for ‘offensive language’?

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Posted: 12th, January 2015 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fox News gaffe-master Steve Emerson says sorry to the people of the Birmingham (now twinned with Mecca)

 

So. We saw the Fox News terrorism expert Steve Emerson explain to one and all that Birmingham UK is a no-go area for non Muslims.

On his blog, you can view his video on an article called ‘Emerson on Fox with Judge Pirro on How the US is Manipulating the Truth on Radical Islam’.

 

Emerson is in the business of terror:

He serves as the Executive Director of The Investigative Project on Terrorism…

He and his organization have been quoted or profiled in hundreds of newspaper and television stories since 9-11.

He’s now issued a correction:

 

Screen shot 2015-01-12 at 07.18.00

 

 

Next up on Fox, global jihad expert Bill Wyman on Charlie Hebdo #jewsuisunrockstar.

 

 

Posted: 12th, January 2015 | In: News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0